


The Wizard's Apprentice

by Sand_wolf579



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: Camelot, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Magic, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Starvation, Magic, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25867354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sand_wolf579/pseuds/Sand_wolf579
Summary: Merlin had never taken on an apprentice as young as Douxie, and it was more difficult than either of them had expected.
Relationships: Archie & Hisirdoux "Douxie" Casperan, Hisirdoux "Douxie" Casperan & Merlin (Tales of Arcadia), Hisirdoux "Douxie" Casperan & Morgana | Pale Lady
Comments: 174
Kudos: 505
Collections: RaeLynn's Epic Rec List





	1. Chapter 1

Douxie looked around somewhat anxiously. He'd been living on the streets and looking out for himself his whole life. He couldn't remember the last time he had stayed in a building that wasn't a tavern or a stable, or when he'd been around so many people who weren't just as poor off as he was. And yet here he was, walking down the hallway of a castle, passing knights and nobles. Even the servants that Douxie passed seemed so much more proper than he was.

Douxie flinched and yelped in surprise and slight pain when he was hit over the back of his head with a staff. "Keep your eyes forward, boy," Merlin said sternly. "You look suspicious."

"Sorry, Master," Douxie mumbled as he rubbed the back of his head. He lowered his gaze and avoided looking at anybody else. He wasn't normally this shy around people, but he also wasn't normally walking down the same halls as the knights that had tried to kill him just the day before. Douxie hadn't forgotten that they had been so eager to kill him just for using magic, and he was sure they hadn't forgotten how he had tricked them.

Douxie knew he wasn't the only one who was a little nervous, because he could feel Archie's claws digging into his shoulders. Douxie reached a hand up and scratched behind Archie's ears.

"It's okay," Douxie assured his familiar. "Merlin told us we'd be safe here."

"Do you really think it wise to trust the wizard who works for the king who has outlawed all magic?" Archie hissed.

"Do you think it wise to talk that way about the one who saved your life?" Merlin raised an eyebrow at Douxie, who grinned sheepishly. Archie growled at Merlin, his fur standing up on end.

"Sorry," Douxie said. He lifted Archie off his shoulders and held him close to his chest. "We're just a little nervous, I guess,"

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Merlin said. Douxie hunched his shoulders slightly and bit his inner lip. That was easy for Merlin to say. He'd probably never had his life threatened over something that came so naturally to him. Douxie also doubted that Merlin knew how it felt to never know where he was staying at any given night, or wondered where his next meal would come from.

Douxie's stomach rumbled. He put a hand over his stomach, both to try to sooth the pain, and to attempt to hide the fact that he was hungry at all. Hunger made someone weak, and it was never a smart thing to let others know that he had any weaknesses.

Merlin gave Douxie a somewhat amused look. Douxie was partially in awe, because he'd never seen Merlin amused before, and partially upset. Douxie didn't know what Merlin found so funny about him being hungry. There was nothing funny about not having food. "Is that your way of saying you would like breakfast?"

"Please," Douxie said. He'd been feeling hungry from the moment he'd woken up, but he hadn't dared to say anything. He'd had a hot meal the day before, it was too much to ask for more food so soon.

"You should have said something," Merlin said. "I admit, I don't normally eat until the mid-day meal, but if you're hungry, well, I can't exactly blame you for that." Douxie and Archie exchanged looks of confusion. There were specific times for eating? Douxie considered meal time to be whenever he was able to get his hands on food.

"Come along," Merlin led Douxie down another hall and into the servants' kitchen. There were so many wonderful smells, it was a little overwhelming. There was freshly baked bread just coming out of the oven. There was all kinds of meat and game that Douxie didn't recognize being cut and prepared for cooking. There was cheese on the counter, and more kinds of nuts, fruit, and vegetables than Douxie knew how to count.

Douxie had never seen so much of so many different kinds of food all in one place. The closest he'd gotten was when he decided to spoil himself and spend what little money he had on a bowl of stew at the local inn. This was way too much. The weirdest thing of all though was that nobody was eating. How could somebody stand to work in these kitchens and not grab at least an apple?

"I'm afraid we can't yet have as nice a meal as we had yesterday," Merlin said. "We don't want to get in the way of the servants preparing the meal." Douxie nodded. He was a little disappointed that he wouldn't be able to have a completely filling meal like he'd had before, but the bread was so fresh, and the fruit so tempting looking that he would settle for just a bite.

Douxie reached for a bowl of raspberries, but Merlin swatted his hand away. "You can't just take what you want. We need to ask permission first." Douxie swallowed thickly and looked at the cooks and servants nervously. In his experience, people who worked in kitchens weren't very nice or generous with their food. Despite Douxie's hesitations, he followed Merlin to where the cook was spreading herbs on the meat.

"Excuse me," Merlin interrupted them from their work. "My young apprentice would like some food." Douxie wished that Merlin hadn't mentioned him at all. If the cook was going to give food to anybody, it would be to the court wizard.

"Please, help yourself," The cook said with as much respect as he might have if the king himself had come there looking for some food before the meal. "The meat isn't cooked yet, but we have some freshly baked bread, and plenty of fruit."

Douxie nodded, because how else was he supposed to respond to that? Could he really just take what he wanted, and nobody would stop him? It seemed too good to be true, and Douxie wasn't going to take any chances. He pet Archie and lifted him up so he could whisper to him quietly, without anybody else hearing.

"You know what to do," He set Archie down. His familiar ran off under a counter. Nobody gave Archie a second look, because most people didn't think that a cat could cause any real trouble. While Archie got to work, Douxie slowly accepted the two slices of bread that a servant had offered to him. Douxie shoved a slice into his mouth before the servant could offer some cheese or jam for him to put on it.

"Take your time," Merlin scolded. The wizard snatched the second slice of bread from Douxie's hands. "You don't want to get sick like you did yesterday, do you?" Douxie just stared at Merlin in betrayal and slight horror. He may have eaten his food too quickly yesterday, and he'd gotten so close to getting sick and wasting that nice meal, but that happened sometimes. Douxie knew it might be safer to eat slower, or eat less, but if he had the chance to eat food, he was going to eat all that he could get his hands on. As for how fast he ate, what was he supposed to do, take his time and wait for someone to steal his food from him? Not if he could help it.

Archie, now in his dragon form, hissed and jumped up onto Douxie's shoulder. Douxie felt Archie drop things into his hood and shirt, and he adjusted his clothing to hide any lumps. It wasn't nearly as much as he would like, but Archie was distracted from the job he'd been given.

"What do you think you're doing?" Archie glared at Merlin. "Give his food back to him." It took a lot to get Archie this fierce and protective. Even though Merlin had only known them for a day, he seemed to know this much. Merlin frowned, and he looked a little confused.

"There's plenty to go around," Merlin said. "I'm not going to steal food from you," Merlin offered the bread to Douxie, who grabbed it and began to scarf it down even faster than he had the first slice. He wasn't going to risk his food being taken from him again.

One of the servants gave Douxie a sympathetic look. "I have to get back to work," The servent offered him a plum. "For if you get hungry again. If Merlin takes this too, come back anytime. There will always be food available to you," Douxie grinned appreciatively and accepted the plum. He was tempted to eat it right away, like the bread, but fruit wasn't as rare a commodoty as fresh bread. Douxie wasn't so sure about food being available any time he wanted some, but he knew where the royal plums were grown. It shouldn't be too hard for him to sneak out and grab a plum if he was really desperate.

Douxie decided to just hold onto the plum, for now. It felt really nice to just hold food right in the palm of his hands, available for when he needed it. Merlin looked a little annoyed at the way that Douxie clung to the plum, but he didn't say or do anything to stop him.

"Are you ready to get to work?" Merlin asked impatiently, even though taking this detour to the kitchen had been his idea.

"Yeah," Douxie said. He followed Merlin out of the kitchen and down to the stables. Merlin had given Douxie the basic tour yesterday, so he knew that they were probably going to get some ingredients for potions or something along those lines. Douxie had been a little overwhelmed about everything that Merlin seemed to expect him to do on his own. He was just grateful that Merlin wasn't quite setting him loose yet. At least for today, Merlin was going to walk him through all of his duties. Starting tomorrow, Douxie would be on his own.

Once they got to the stables, Douxie had no choice but to let go of his plum. He wasn't about to hand it to Merlin. Douxie gave the plum to Archie. He knew that his familiar must have eaten something in the kitchens, but like Douxie, Archie rarely said no to more food. He trusted that Archie wouldn't actually eat his plum, and that he would keep it safe. The plum had been given to Douxie, it was _his_ , no one else's, and Archie respected that.

Douxie spent the next few hours listening to Merlin go on and on about all sorts of ingredients, both magical and seemingly normal. Each ingredient could be used in dozens of different potions and spells, and they seemed to do something different in each of them. For the first time in his life, Douxie understood why people would bother taking notes or getting books about things like this. There was just too much information, there was no way he would be able to remember all of this.

By the time Merlin was done with his explanation, Douxie's arms were full of ingredients that he didn't remember the names to. They weren't even done yet. According to Merlin, they now had to take these ingredients up to his workshop, sort them, and prep them for potions, spells, or magical tools. They were nowhere close to being done for the day, and Douxie was already exhausted.

Merlin led the way back up to his tower, with Douxie stumbling behind him, trying to keep his hands on all the ingredients. Despite Douxie's best efforts, he accidentally dropped a few herbs. Archie picked everything up, and instead of bringing them to Douxie or Merlin, he tucked them under his wings.

Douxie did his best to keep himself between Merlin and Archie. He didn't want his master to notice what they were up to. Merlin may have taken Douxie in as an apprentice, but he doubted that meant that Merlin would be okay with him stealing potion ingredients from him.

Douxie didn't know exactly what he would do with these ingredients, but that was what he was going to be learning from Merlin in his workshop. If some of these potions could come in handy, then Douxie thought it would be smart for him to have ingredients handy should something happen and he had to give up on this apprenticeship opportunity.

In Merlin's workshop, the wizard set Douxie off to put ingredients away. It was a lot more difficult than it really should be. Douxie would put all of the mushrooms that looked exactly alike in the cupboard, only to be condescendingly told that he shouldn't, under any circumstance, put briar shrooms and pulsing kaps in the same place. Merlin then looked at Douxie like he was a fool when he didn't understand why bright pink powder belonged in the same storage container as muddy brown goo.

Archie prowled around the workshop and watched Douxie work. Every few minutes, when Douxie was working with an especially strange looking ingredient, Archie would come right up close to him and pick up any bit of the ingredients that Douxie would subtly drop. Archie would hide these things under his wings, like the things he'd picked up earlier, and run off to their quarters.

This went on for another hour before Merlin finally announced that they could take a break. Douxie all but collapsed onto the floor. He'd never thought that standing around and being treated like an idiot was so exhausting. He wanted to fall asleep, but then he smelled food and he decided that he had never felt more awake. He sat up as Merlin opened the door and let in the servant who had given Douxie the apple earlier. Douxie didn't think he had ever seen a sight more beautiful than the servant boy holding two plates of food.

The servant gave Merlin only one of the plates, even though it was clear that the wizard expected to be given both so the servant could go on his way. Instead, the servant walked right past Merlin and gave the other plate directly to Douxie. There was another plum on the plate. The servant gave him a gentle smile, bowed to Merlin, and left the room.

Merlin scowled and sat at his table. He gestured for Douxie to join him, and the boy could tell that it wasn't actually a request. Douxie took the plum on the plate and some of the bread and nuts, and handed them to Archie, who ran off. Douxie took his remaining food and joined Merlin, who gave him an odd look.

"Do you not think your familiar would prefer meat?" Merlin asked.

"Uh, Archie likes to catch his own meat," Douxie said hastily. "He really likes toasted bread and nuts though."

Merlin didn't look entirely convinced, but he didn't ask Douxie more. He just ate his food and left Douxie to eat his own. Douxie wanted to eat all his food at once, but Merlin kept on giving him unimpressed glances, and Douxie didn't want a repeat of what had happened that morning. He forced himself to take his time. It was a lot easier to do when Archie returned to the room and grabbed some more food from his plate.

"Honestly, we must remember to get that beast its own plate," Merlin split one of his loafs of bread in half and handed Douxie the largest piece. "A growing lad like you needs as much food as you can get," Douxie thought that he was pretty much done growing, but he wasn't about to tell Merlin that. If Douxie still growing was what motivated Merlin to give him more food, then Douxie would keep growing for the rest of his life.

When Merlin finished eating, Douxie took it as his cue to finish off the rest of his own food, after slipping Archie a few strips of jerky. Merlin stood up and cleared his throat. "I've got a meeting with King Arthur. Hisirdoux, until you're more used to the castle, and the people are more used to you, keep yourself confined to my workshop and your quarters.

Douxie didn't want to be confined anywhere, but he wasn't ready to take his chances among the knights who had tried to kill him yesterday. "Sure, I'll stay here," Douxie agreed. Maybe he'd actually allow himself to get some sleep.

Merlin gave him and Archie a stern look. "I won't be gone long. Stay out of trouble while I'm gone," Merlin left the room and closed the door behind him. Douxie saw the green glow of Merlin's magic around the door. Merlin had locked him in.

"Your new Master doesn't seem to trust you," Archie said.

"To be fair, we don't trust him either," Douxie said. He adjusted his clothes and set his plate down for Archie to lick clean. While Archie finished eating, Douxie grabbed a few more ingredients that Merlin had so much of, that he probably wouldn't notice were missing. When Archie was finished, he jumped onto Douxie's shoulders.

"Let's see what we've got," Douxie said. He went to the far side off the workshop where his so called quarters were. It was a small room that had enough rags, brooms, and dirty old buckets that Douxie was positive this used to just be Merlin's supply closet, but it had a decently soft bed, and it was quiet and a place that Douxie could call all his own. It was more than Douxie could usually expect to find for just one night, let alone multiple nights in a row. He considered himself lucky.

Archie crawled under Douxie's bed and pulled out a bucket. It had herbs, mushrooms, and goop all over the bottom. Douxie put the last ingredients he'd found into the bucket as well. He then took off his vest and let the loaf of bread, bunches of berries, nuts, and small wheel of cheese fall out of his clothes. Archie pulled out another bucket, which had a small collections of food piled in it. Most of it was simple food, nonperishable, because if Douxie was going to be keeping food long-term, he shouldn't try to keep food that would spoil.

"Having some real meat would be nice," Douxie licked his paws. "Better than that jerky stuff."

"I'll see if I can get Merlin to teach me a spell to keep food from going bad," Douxie said.

Archie looked like he wanted to respond, but he suddenly stiffened. "Merlin." Archie shoved the food bucket back under the bed. Douxie quickly put the food in the other bucket and tried to push it under the bed, but he accidentally knocked it over.

"Hisirdoux," Merlin called out from the workshop. Douxie looked anxiously towards the door. He hastily tried to clean up the spilled over berries and nuts. Merlin couldn't know, he couldn't let his Master find out. "Hisirdoux Casperan!" Douxie's door was slammed open by a very annoyed looking Merlin.

"M-Master," Douxie stepped in front of his bed and tried to hide his things as much as he could. Archie pulled the thin blanket off of his bed and used it to cover the evidence. "I-I thought you were meeting with the king?"

"I forgot to bring a harrows beetle," Merlin said. He glared at Douxie, who fidgeted under his stare. He'd been here for just one day, but he'd been too impatient and taken too much too quickly. This was always what did him in. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice that while I was supposed to have fifty beetles, there were only forty-nine there?"

"Master, I can explain," Douxie said. Merlin held up his hand, and Douxie couldn't help but flinch. Archie his and jumped onto Douxie's shoulders. He spread his wings out defensively.

Merlin frowned and held out his hand expectantly. "My beetle, boy."

Douxie grimaced and knelt down. He reached his hand under the blanket and into the ingredient bucket. He reached around it for a moment before getting his hands on what he was sure was the bettle. He pulled it out and, still kneeling, offered it to Merlin. The wizard didn't take the beetle, but instead he grasped Douxie's wrist rather harshly. Douxie cried out and tried to pull back, but Merlin only tightened his grip and drew him closer.

"Salamander dust?" Merlin was far past annoyed. "I take you under my wing, and the first thing you do is steal from me?"

"S-steal is such a strong word," Douxie said. He could feel his heartbeat in his head, like his mind was pounding. "I-I didn't think you'd notice-"

"So that makes it okay?" Merlin looked aghast. "What else have you taken?" Douxie glanced behind him towards the bed. Merlin scowled and pushed Douxie aside. It wasn't a hard shove, but Douxie tumbled into the wall anyways. His legs were shaking so much he didn't think he could stand up at all. All he could do was watch as Merlin uncovered his things.

Douxie should have known better. He should have waited a few minutes, just to be sure that Merlin wouldn't return. He should have hidden things more carefully. He should have known that the greatest wizard in the land would find out sooner rather than later.

Douxie suddenly found it very difficult to breath regularly. It was like he had both forgotten how to breath, and his lungs had forgotten how to hold in air. His ears were ringing. Douxie was only vaguely aware of Archie curling up against his chest, his wings spread out to hide and protect him as much as he could. It didn't help much, but Douxie appreciated it all the same.

"...Hisirdoux," Douxie closed his eyes tight and ducked his head when he heard Merlin's voice. He was expecting to be shouted at, at the very least. He thought that Merlin would throw him out of the workshop, out of the castle, out of the kingdom. In his panicked state, Douxie wouldn't be surprised if Merlin sold him out to the knights to have him be killed after all. When Douxie felt a gentle hand on his head, he didn't know how to handle it. He froze and sat perfectly still.

"Hisirdoux, look at me," Merlin said. He didn't sound angry, but he was certainly stern, and while Douxie may be new to this whole apprentice business, he knew better than to disobey a direct order. Douxie opened his eyes and looked fearfully up at Merlin, who was kneeling in front of him. The hand that wasn't on Douxie's head was on Archie's back, calming both of them.

"We will have to talk about the stolen ingredients," Merlin scolded, and Douxie was already dreading that talk. "But why are you hiding food?"

"I...don't understand," Douxie said, almost inaudibly. Merlin wanted to know why he was hiding food? Douxie wanted to know why so many people didn't feel the need to store food away. How were they so comfortable and confident that they would be able to get more whenever they needed it, let alone when they wanted it.

"I thought I made it clear that you can eat whenever you like," Merlin said. "If you want food, just ask, or go down to the kitchens and grab something for yourself. You don't have to hide it." Douxie stared at Merlin in desbelief. He knew that was what people said, and maybe that was the case for the people who properly lived in the castle, but Douxie didn't think that applied to him. He'd gone his whole life grabbing what food he could get, unable to trust anybody to provide it for him. The thought that he could be given food just because he asked for it was inconceivable.

Merlin sighed. He sounded exhausted. "I see it will take time for you to believe me." Merlin stood up. He offered his hand out to Douxie, and the young apprentice cautiously took it. Merlin pulled him to his feet. "This isn't necessary, but if it makes you feel more comfortable, I suppose I can tolerate it until you realize that I'm not lying to you." Merlin picked up Douxie's bucket of food and, taking notice of Douxie's panicked expression, handed it to him.

"If you're going to be storing food, you should be smart about it," Merlin picked up his staff and used it to summon a box a little larger than the bucket, which had a dozen drawers in it. "I've enchanted this so it will keep your food fresh. You can sort your different types of food into the different drawers, so your bread won't get soggy from the fruits' juices." Merlin set the box on top of Douxie's bed. Douxie stared at it in awe for a moment before approaching it. He opened up a drawer, closed it, and opened it up again. It looked safe enough, but Douxie knew that magic could be deceiving.

Douxie picked up one of the nuts that had fallen to the floor. He cautiously put it into a drawer. Douxie slowly closed the drawer, watching the nut carefully until he couldn't anymore. The second the drawer was closed, Douxie whipped it back open again, only to find that the nut was still there. It hadn't disappeared like he'd been worried it might.

Douxie laughed in relief as he opened and closed the drawer a few more times, just to be sure. He added more nuts to it, and it worked just as well. Douxie grinned and looked up at Merlin, who was smiling, though there was a sad look in his eyes.

"Thank you, Master," Douxie said gratefully. Merlin frowned slightly, and Douxie wondered what he had done wrong.

"Please, don't thank me," Merlin said. "Trust me, it was the very least I could do." Merlin sat on the edge of Douxie's bed and leaned towards him slightly. "I somewhat understand why you felt the need to hide away food, but why do the same with my ingredients? You don't even know how to use them properly."

"Douxie will learn how to use them," Archie said. Douxie didn't know whether to be grateful that his familiar was handling the explanation, because he didn't entirely understand himself why he felt the need to hoard ingredients, or annoyed that Archie was outing him like this. "If there comes a day when Douxie may need to make a potion or something, it would be better to have the necessary ingredients on hand."

"Yes, I understand _that_ ," Merlin sounded annoyed and impatient again. "If you need to make a potion though, why don't you just use my ingredients? After asking my permission, of course."

Douxie fiddled with his tunic. "What if I don't have access to you ingredients?"

"Why wouldn't you have access?" Merlin asked. He gestured towards the door. "They're just in there."

"But what if we're not here?" Archie asked pointedly. Merlin looked at him in shock for a moment before he sighed again.

"You do understand, don't you, that when I offered to have you be my apprentice, that was an offer for you to stay here for as long as you like?" Merlin said. That somewhat sad look returned to his eyes. "I'm not going to just send you on your way and leave you to your own devices."

That was almost harder to believe than the fact that Douxie would be allowed to have all the food that he wanted. People didn't just help each other for no reason. Merlin had given Douxie a place to stay, yes, but that was on the condition that he be his apprentice. What if Douxie wasn't as good at magic as Merlin wanted him to be? Or Douxie was never able to figure out the difference between briar shrooms and pulsing kaps? He would be a pretty lousy apprentice, and Merlin would probably think he was better off without him.

Merlin must have seen the doubt in Douxie's eyes, and he looked disappointed by it. He didn't scold Douxie or try to reassure him more. He just stood up. "I see that it will take time for you to trust me, and that's fine. However," Merlin waved his staff and lifted the bucket of ingredients out from under Douxie's bed. "I will not tolerate you stealing from me. Once I'm confident that you know how to handle these ingredients, maybe I will give you some of your own. Until then, my ingredients are to remain in my workshop, understood?"

"Yes, Master, I understand," Douxie nodded. He was a little disappointed that his plan had backfired on him, but it didn't look like Merlin was going to throw him out, or even punish him too harshly. Douxie didn't know how to use the ingredients anyways, and at least Merlin allowed him to keep his food. "This won't happen again, I swear it."

"See that it doesn't." Merlin said. Still levitating the bucket of ingredients, Merlin approached the door. "I suppose this is as good a time as any to show you how to decontaminate ingredients. Come along."

Douxie didn't want to leave the safety of his room. He wanted to carefully put each nut, berry, and loaf of bread into their drawers, but he couldn't keep Merlin waiting. Merlin had been incredibly patient up to this point, and Douxie didn't want to test that patience.

"Yes, Master," Douxie said obediently. He left the bucket of food on the bed, left Archie behind to protect it, and followed Merlin back into the main workshop. It was time to get back to work.


	2. Chapter 2

The first several days after being brought on to be Merlin's apprentice, Douxie was confined to the workshop. Apparently Merlin wanted to be sure that Douxie wouldn't cause any more trouble before giving him free reign of the castle. Douxie hadn't minded these limits at first. He was too relieved to have a warm place to sleep and a hot meal whenever he wanted it to complain too much. Merlin also kept him really busy, so Douxie didn't exactly have a lot of time to himself to think about things to complain about.

When Merlin got more comfortable with Douxie being in his workshop unsupervised, he began to return to his own work. He left Douxie a list of things he needed to do around the workshop while he was gone. At first, Douxie had been overwhelmed by the sheer length of the list, but then he'd bothered reading exactly what was written down.

Merlin had tasked him to organize the ingredients, tidy up the workshop, , organize all of Merlin's potions, and other such tasks. Those were the exact kinds of things that Douxie did under Merlin's supervision. Douxie was willing to do the work that Merlin needed from him, but he knew for a fact that the workshop didn't need to be tidied, and the ingredients had been organized just the day before. This wasn't work, this was busy work. Merlin was just trying to keep him busy and out of the way, and Douxie didn't appreciate it.

Douxie did as he was told, thinking it would be better to talk to Merlin afterwards than to disobey him just because he was bored. Besides, even doing boring work was better than doing no work at all. Douxie intended to wait for Merlin to return, but the old wizard stayed out so late that by the time he came back, Douxie was already fast asleep.

Douxie didn't normally consider himself a heavy sleeper, but his new bed was so soft, and all the work he did and all the food he ate left him feeling more exhausted than normal. While before, Douxie would wake up at the sound of a light footstep in an alley, now it took Merlin several minutes to wake him up. It seemed that Merlin didn't have the patience for that this morning, because Douxie was rudely awoken when Merlin used his magic to lift him into the air and hand him upside down.

"Wha-hey!" Douxie cried out in shock and slight fear. He never liked it when he woke up without having any control of himself. Merlin let him down a little harsher than he probably intended.

"Come along, Hisirdoux, up and at 'em." Merlin said far too cheerfully. He grabbed Douxie's hand and pulled him up to his feet. "I've got a meeting with King Arthur in a few minutes, and you have a busy day in front of you."

"I do?" Douxie rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, already feeling more awake. Was Merlin going to address his complaint before it was even made?

"Of course," Merlin said. "You've got a whole workshop to tidy."

Douxie felt his small amount of hope fade. "What, again? I cleaned it yesterday...and the day before that...and the day before that."

"Don't get smart with me, boy," Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. "A dirty workshop is a dangerous thing." Merlin led Douxie into the workshop, and Douxie was annoyed to see that it wasn't as spotless as he'd left it yesterday. It wasn't exactly a disaster, but there was lingering ingredient residue lying around, and a lot of the books were out of place. Douxie didn't know why Merlin scolded him for not keeping the workshop clean when the current mess was because Merlin had likely been too tired to clean up after himself when he returned last night, and he was in too much of a hurry to put away the books that he'd gotten out but didn't need.

"I know, but isn't there something else I could do?" Douxie asked. "Like... _anything_ else?" Merlin didn't look completely convinced. "Come on, Master, please? I swear I'll clean later, I just need a break."

Merlin sighed in exasperation. He glanced towards the door impatiently. "I suppose it's time for you to familiarize yourself with the rest of the castle."

"Yes!" Douxie was far too eager to get out of the tower to be anxious about everybody else in the castle.

"Hang on, we need to establish some rules," Merlin said. "You may not want to work in the tower, but you should still at least try to make yourself useful. Go to the stables or something and see if they need any help in there. Don't get in anyone's way."

"Of course, Master," Douxie agreed eagerly. He would agree to anything to get out of the tower. "I'll stay out of trouble."

"Yes, well, we'll see about that," Merlin said. "If you need me, I'll be in the council room. Please, don't need me." Douxie didn't know what kind of work Merlin was doing with Douxie, but he knew it had to be important.

"I'll do my best," Douxie picked up Archie, who was napping near the window. "Come on," Archie was an even heavier sleeper than Douxie was, but Archie was able to nap on Douxie's shoulder. "I'll see you later, Master," Douxie said as he ran out of the tower. He went down the steps, walked down a somewhat familiar looking hallway, and then got lost when he got to the first fork in the hallway. He had no idea how to get to the stables. He knew that the kitchens were to the right, but he didn't know his way past there. How was he supposed to get to the stables when he didn't know where they were?

Douxie looked both left and right before he decided to just take his chances and go left. His reasoning was he didn't think the stables were anywhere near the kitchens, and the kitchens were to the right.

When Douxie came to another fork, he went right, because he knew that if he kept going in the same direction, he might just end up going in a circle. From that point on, Douxie alternated between going left and going right, except when there was the option to go straight, in which case he would do so, just because the chance didn't come up as often.

After about thirty minutes of wandering around, Douxie came upon a set of stairs going up, and he knew he'd messed up at some point. He needed to get down to the stables. Douxie may not be the best at directions, but he knew that you couldn't go down by going up. Douxie reluctantly turned around and tried to retrace his steps, but he hadn't been keeping proper track of which way he'd come from, so in trying to turn around Douxie found himself even more lost than before.

"Oh, come on," Douxie groaned. Archie opened an eye and peeked at him.

"Are we lost?" Archie asked.

"Give me a break," Douxie said as he went straight. He was pretty sure he hadn't gone this way before. "Forgive me for not memorizing the layout of a whole blasted castle!" Douxie shouted this last part out in frustration. He'd thought that the hallway was empty and nobody could hear him, but the hall wasn't as isolated as he thought it was.

"Well, look who it is," A voice said behind him. Douxie jumped and turned to see a very familiar looking knight behind him. "The little wizard."

"S-sir Galahad," Douxie chuckled nervously and took a step back. Archie tensed and dug his claws into Douxie's shoulder. "What-what are you doing here?" Douxie couldn't remember the names of most of the knights, but he had dedicated Galahad's name into his memory. Since he'd first set foot into the castle, Douxie had promised himself to not be anywhere near the knight that had tried to kill him for doing something that he hadn't even known was a crime.

"I could hear curses and swears from down the hall, and I came to investigate." Galahad gave Douxie a look that he couldn't understood. Was the knight amused or suspicious? "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm, uh, trying to get to the stables," Douxie said. "I needed a break from the tower, and Merlin suggested that I see if I can assist someone." Douxie fought to keep his tone even and free of the nerves he was feeling. He wasn't doing anything wrong, and he didn't want to do anything to make Galahad think that he was.

"If that's the case, you're going the wrong way," Galahad said.

"He got us lost," Archie said.

"Yes, I thought that was the case," Galahad chuckled. "I would offer to give you the grand tour, but I'm late for training as it is." Douxie didn't understand why Galahad was speaking so calmly and casually to him. Had Galahad forgotten that he'd tried to kill Douxie just a few days ago? Was being apprenticed to Merlin really all it took for Douxie to be given a clean slate in the knight's eyes?

"That's okay," Douxie said quickly. "I think we can manage." Even if they didn't get to the stables, at least they were getting a little more used to the castle. At this rate, Douxie might know this castle like the back of his hand in another fifty years.

Galahad continued to watch Douxie for a long moment. "Actually, if you're looking for something to do, we've been looking for sparring partners for our young squires."

Douxie frowned slightly. "Sparring? Like, pretend fighting?"

"Not exactly," Galahad said. "It's less pretend and more like practice. The fighting is real, but the threat isn't."

"Oh," Douxie thought he understood. Whenever he came across other street people who resorted to trickier, more morally questionable methods of getting by, he would find them practicing their pocket-picking and conning skills on each other. Douxie used to practice his own cons with them. It was thanks to these people that Douxie knew that he wasn't good at traditional stealing, but he could be really good at misdirection.

"Well, I don't know how good at sparring I'll be," Douxie admitted. "But I'm willing to try." If it got him into Galahad's good graces and allowed Douxie to know exactly where he stood with the knights, he'd be willing to try just about anything.

"Good lad," Galahad laughed. He came up right next to Douxie and slapped him hard on the back, making Douxie stumble slightly. Archie hissed and jumped off of Douxie's shoulders. Archie watched protectively as Galahad began to lead Douxie down a hall and towards the knights' training grounds.

Despite the size of the castle, Galahad was able to find the way to the courtyard in just a matter of minutes. Douxie had just started to feel a little less nervous about sparring with squires when he caught sight of who his sparring partners would be. The squires were easy to pick out, as they weren't wearing armor as extensive as the knights', and they were all Douxie's age or younger, but in reality it wasn't nearly as reassuring as it had been in Douxie's head.

He was taller than most of the knights, but Douxie knew that wouldn't be to his advantage. Even the youngest and smallest of the squires looked like he could snap Douxie like a twig. Then there was the fact that all of the squires were holding swords. They weren't as refined as the knights' swords, but Douxie was sure that they would pierce and cut just as easily. Douxie, on the other hand, had never held a sword in his life. How was he supposed to spar when he didn't know how to use the weapon?

"Uh, on second thought, maybe this isn't such a good idea," Douxie tried to walk back, but Galahad still had a hand on his back and he gave him a light shove forward.

"Come now, boy, it'll do you some good to learn how to fight like a man." Galahad said. He grabbed a wooden practice sword and shoved it into Douxie's hands. "You won't always have your magic to rely on in a fight."

"I'd rather not fight at all." Douxie said. He understood why fighting was necessary, but that didn't mean that he had to like it. More often than not it seemed as though people, especially the knights and guards, fought just to throw their power around and bully others into doing what they wanted.

"It's not that bad," A tall, blond knight with surprisingly kind eyes said. He helped Douxie to adjust his grip on the wooden sword. "Just try to hit the other guy, and try to not get hit yourself."

"Yeah, I got that much," Douxie couldn't tell if the blond knight was teasing him or was genuinely trying to offer him advice. The blond knight spent a minute showing Douxie basic stances and gave him a few more tips. When he was satisfied that Douxie wouldn't accidentally stab himself, he looked towards the line of squires.

"Young Hasen, why don't you come give it a shot?" The blond said.

"Yes Lancelot," The youngest and smallest knight came forward. He didn't look too happy about sparring with Douxie, but he didn't say a word of complaint. Douxie was alarmed for a moment to see that Hasen had a real sword, but then he noticed that it was in its sheath. Douxie knew he wouldn't walk away from this without a few bruises, but at least he hopefully wouldn't be cut.

"Face your opponent," Lancelot said. "Ready?" Douxie clutched tightly at his sword, but no sooner had he done this did Hasen dash towards him and use his sword to knock Douxie's right out of his hands. Douxie stared at Hasen in shock. Had he lost already? He hadn't even known that they'd started yet!

Hasen smirked and swung his sword again. Douxie yelped and ducked out of the way. Apparently he hadn't lost, he was just expected to fight at even more of a disadvantage than before. Douxie couldn't fight bare-handed, and Hasen knew this. Hasen shifted until he was standing between Douxie and the wooden sword. That was fine, Douxie hadn't wanted that weapon anyways.

Hasen lunged towards Douxie, who jumped back and started to run. He looked around anxiously for a long stick, or even something like a lance or shovel. Anything that could be wielded similarly to a staff, which was the one kind of weapon that Douxie actually knew how to wield. For a castle barracks, it was frustratingly bare.

Douxie's long legs allowed him to keep ahead of Hasen, but the squire wasn't so willing to give up. Douxie cried out in pain and tripped when he felt something that felt like a switch being whipped against his back. Douxie fell and hit his head on the ground. Everything went black for a long moment.

"-xie. Douxie!" Archie cried out. The familiar was hissing and growling like crazy. Douxie groaned and blinked rapidly. He turned towards Archie's voice and frowned when he saw his familiar being held by Lancelot. Archie was struggling to get away. Douxie frowned. His familiar may look like a cat, but he wasn't someone's pet. He was a dragon, he didn't deserve to be held against his will.

"Archie," Douxie tried to get up, but he was pushed back down by Hasen's boot. He wasn't exactly stepping on his back, he was actually applying very little pressure, but even the smallest amount of pressure felt like dragon fire.

"Do you yield?" Hasen asked. The kid looked far too smug and proud for a squire who had just defeated a complete amateur who had no idea what he was doing.

Douxie would normally say something to appease the kid, or if he was feeling particularly irritated he might say something sarcastic. His head was still pounding though, Archie was still growling desperately, and Douxie had a sword pointed at his back. It didn't matter if the sword was sheathed, it was a threat.

His back hurt, and his ears were ringing. He needed to make sure Archie was safe. He needed to get away from these knights. _He just needed everything to stop._

Not thinking, Douxie reached a hand out towards Archie and twisted to swing a hand behind him to knock the sword away from him. It was pure instinct, and part of Douxie's instinctive nature was his magic. Without meaning to, Douxie sent blasts of magic from both hands, hitting Hasen and Lancelot.

Hasen cried out, possibly from pain, possibly just from shock, but he dropped his sword and stumbled off of Douxie's back, so he considered that a victory. Lancelot's shout was definitely one of surprise, but Douxie's magic had been enough of a distraction for Archie to struggle out of his grip and fly to Douxie's side.

"Witchcraft," Galahad said quietly, with just a touch of anger and fear in his voice. Douxie pushed himself up just enough to grab onto Archie and curl up over him. He wanted to run away and never look back. He wanted to go to Merlin's side and seek refuge again. He wasn't sure if he was even able to get up at this point though, and he was too scared to try. What if the knights just knocked him down again?

Douxie heard footsteps approaching him, and he panicked. "Get away!" Douxie shouted. A wave of magic came from him. It didn't actually do anything, but it seemed to be enough to dissuade the approaching knight from coming any closer.

"Someone get Merlin," Lancelot commanded. He sounded a lot closer now, so he must have been the one approaching. Douxie tightened his grip on Archie. Was Lancelot going to try to take his familiar away from him again? "We're not going to hurt you." Lancelot said in what sounded like a forced gentle voice. Of course, Douxie didn't believe him. Why should he? He'd already been hurt by the knights.

The next several minutes were spent like this. Douxie would hear the squires and knights mutter to themselves in fear and anger. Lancelot would try to approach Douxie, only for him to send off an unintentional wave of magic to push him back again. Douxie curled up against Archie and just wished that everything would stop.

"What is going on out here?" The king shouted. Douxie cringed and he felt Archie's fur stand on end. The knights were bad enough, and now he had to deal with the person who had commanded the ban on magic in the first place? This was it. He was going to die out here, curled up and quivering like a coward.

"Hisirdoux," Someone else was approaching now, but that was Merlin's voice, so Douxie found himself relaxing slightly. If Merlin hadn't kicked him out for stealing from him, he probably wouldn't punish him too badly for this. Douxie lifted his head to see Merlin, who already looked tired of this whole ordeal. "What is this I hear about you using your magic to attack a knight and a squire?"

"It was an accident!" Douxie said just a little too loudly and quickly.

"They attacked him first." Archie said furiously. Merlin hummed to himself and knelt in front of Douxie. Merlin brought a hand to Douxie's forehead, where he'd hit it against the ground. Douxie flinched as Merlin touched the bump, which was apparently more than that because when Merlin pulled away Douxie could see blood on his hand.

"Yes, I can see that," Merlin frowned and looked at Lancelot. "What exactly happened here?"

"The boys were just sparring," Lancelot said.

"Is it normal during spars to throw your opponents own weapon at them?" Archie said.

"Is that what hit me?" Douxie asked. He brought a hand up to his back, which wasn't exactly burning anymore, but it still hurt. Merlin sighed and gripped Douxie's arm. He pulled him to his feet.

"I shall have words with my apprentice," Merlin said to King Arthur, who looked unimpressed. "Please, excuse him. He's just a boy. It is normal for young wizards to lack control of their powers, especially when they're stressed."

"I do not want untamed magic running around the castle." Arthur said stiffly. A young woman put a hand on the kings arm.

"Merlin will help him learn control," The young woman said. "Just as he helped me."

Arthur's eyes softened ever so slightly. He still scowled at Douxie, but he no longer looked like he wanted to order for him to be killed on the spot. "I expect you to control your apprentice, Merlin,"

"Of course, your majesty." Merlin pulled Douxie away from the barracks. As they passed the young woman, she gave Douxie a reassuring smile. It was a nice change of pace from all the scowls and glares he got from the knights and king.

Merlin was a little harsh in his pulling, and Douxie had to walk really quickly to keep up with him and not get his arm yanked. Douxie didn't ask Merlin to slow down or let go. He was too relieved about being saved from the knights again.

Merlin didn't say anything until they were back in the tower. Merlin pushed Douxie inside. "Sit there, don't move." Merlin gestured to the large table in the middle of his workshop. Douxie made his way over as Merlin used his magic to close and seal the doors.

"What were you thinking, sparring with the knights?" Merlin scolded. He went to one of the cupboards where he kept his potions and pulled out a small vial filled with a thick green liquid. "Do you even know how to fight?"

"No." Douxie said quietly. Archie curled up close to him and nudged him with his head comfortingly. "I don't know what I was thinking." Getting humiliated by and attacking a squire definitely wasn't the best way to get into the knights good graces.

Merlin came towards Douxie and opened the vial. He poured some of the liquid onto his hand, and then gently spread the liquid over the cut on Douxie's head. Douxie hissed as it stung for a moment, but then the pain started to fade as the wound healed over. Even the pounding in Douxie's head went away. Douxie brought a hand to his forehead. He couldn't feel anything there.

"Better?" Merlin asked. Douxie nodded. "Where else does it hurt.

"My back," Douxie said.

"That child threw a sword at it," Archie said.

"A wooden sword," Douxie clarified.

"If used right, wood can be just as harmful as steel." Merlin said. "Take your tunic off, let me have a look." Douxie obeyed, or at least he tried to. Stretching his arms up irritated his back, and he needed Merlin's help to get the tunic off completely. Merlin stiffened slightly when he saw Douxie's back.

"That's quite a welt," Merlin said. He touched the injury. Douxie flinched away from his touch, and Merlin had to put a hand on his shoulder to keep him still. Merlin put some more of the liquid onto his hand and gently spread it over Douxie's whole back, not just where the injury was. The flare of pain lasted a little longer this time, but it wasn't anywhere near as strong as it had been when Merlin had healed Douxie's head. Eventually the pain died down and if it weren't for his nerves and the horrible feeling in his gut, Douxie wouldn't feel any different than he had when he'd woken up.

The injury from the sparring practice had been healed, but Merlin's hand was still on Douxie's back. Douxie looked over his shoulder and was a little alarmed to see a mix between pain and fury in Merlin's eyes.

"These are old wounds," Merlin said. He brushed his hand gently against Douxie's back, as though he was afraid of hurting him. "I didn't know you had so many scars."

"I didn't know either," Douxie admitted. He knew about the scars on his hands, chest, and feet, but it wasn't often that he was able to find a clear enough reflection to get a good view of his back. Douxie wasn't surprised that he had scars though. He had lost track of the number of times he'd been chased away by an angry creature who didn't like him in its territory, or been whipped because he'd been careless and gotten caught. With how often Douxie's back was to his enemies, it wasn't surprising that some of the injurries lingered.

"I'm afraid I can't heal wounds this old," Merlin said.

"That's okay," Douxie grabbed his tunic and slipped it back on. He didn't care if he had scars. They had hurt a lot when he'd first gotten them, but they didn't feel any different now. And Douxie had gotten hurt loads more times that didn't show through scars. "I'm used to it."

Merlin scowled. "Well, you shouldn't be," Merlin put the stopped back onto the vial, which was nearly empty. Merlin walked back to the cupboards and put the vial away. "When I told you to make yourself useful and familiarize yourself with the rest of the castle, training with the knights wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

"It won't happen again," Douxie said. He didn't want to go anywhere near the knights or their squires. He'd been cautious after they'd tried to kill him, but he'd known that they were just following orders. This sparring session was supposed to have just been practice for them, with no real threats. Douxie getting hurt hadn't been the result of the knights following orders, it had been because they had found it funny.

"No, I suppose it won't." Merlin used his staff to levitate up a broom and push it into Douxie's hands. "Now, I believe you said you would tidy up the workshop?"

Archie growled slightly, but Douxie wasn't anywhere near as irritated. He had said he would do that, and after Merlin had helped him again it was the least he could do. "Yes, Master." Cleaning up may be tedious and boring, but it was relatively safe, and at that moment that was enough for Douxie.

Maybe he should spend a few more days in the tower before giving the rest of the castle another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it would be weird if there wasn't at least a little tension between Douxie and the knights after he first gets taken in.


	3. Chapter 3

Douxie had been taken in by Merlin a few weeks ago, and he still felt like an outsider in the castle. The only place he felt completely comfortable was in Merlin's workshop. He knew exactly what was expected from him there. He cleaned, organized, and did what Merlin said. Outside the tower, Douxie was completely lost, and not just when it came to navigation.

Merlin had been trying to force Douxie out of his shell. The wizard said that Douxie would never feel at home there, and the other inhabitants of the castle would never get used to the idea of having an amateur wizard there, unless Douxie put himself out there. Getting out and exploring the castle hadn't worked so well when Douxie had first tried it, so he wasn't eager to do it again.

Since Douxie didn't want to go out on his own, Merlin took it upon himself to force Douxie out. Before, Merlin would leave Douxie in the tower while he went out to do his work for Arthur. Now, Merlin took Douxie with him everywhere. He claimed it was because he needed an assistant in his work. However, Douxie spent most of his time standing in the corner, not doing anything except holding some of Merlin's books, which he rarely ever used. Douxie wasn't doing vital work, he was just being forced out of his comfort zone, and he didn't really appreciate it.

Even though Douxie was almost always around others, he rarely actually interacted with them. Merlin spent most of his time around King Arthur himself. The king was incredibly busy, and probably the last person that Douxie wanted to try to make small talk with. He was just glad that Arthur mostly ignored him, other than the occasional distrustful glare.

Knights frequently came in and out of the throne room. Douxie got nervous and tense whenever any knight came in, and he found it a little hard to breathe when that knight happened to be Galahad. He wasn't able to relax until the knights left.

Douxie had thought that of all the people in the castle, he would have an easier time getting along with the servants than anybody else. These weren't noble folk, and though many of them lived in the castle, they weren't considered part of the castle, much like Douxie. A lot of the servants also knew for themselves just how hard it was to adjust to living in the castle when they were used to living in much poorer circumstances.

Unfortunately, as soon as Douxie started spending so much time in the throne room, the servants started to treat him differently. They were kind enough, but also somewhat closed off and distant. Douxie didn't see himself as part of the household, but apparently the servants did. As far as the servants were concerned, Douxie was their superior, and they treated him like it.

Douxie hated that he was constantly surrounded by other people, but he'd never felt more separated from them.

On the streets, Douxie would always be around people, because that was just the nature of marketplaces. Where the food was, that was where the people were too. Douxie wouldn't get too close to the townsfolk, but this was different. In the town, even though Douxie was always around people, it would be different people every day. Now, Douxie saw the same people often enough that he knew them by name and recognized them when he passed them in the halls, and yet he didn't know them, and they didn't know him at all.

It made Douxie almost miss living in town. He was always struggling to find food and safety, but he could always tell just by looking at a person if they were in a similar situation as him. Douxie had been able to find a small kinship with people, and he just didn't have that in the castle. Douxie hadn't realized just how much he needed that small connection. It was exhausting to be surrounded by strangers who saw him as nothing more than a nuisance. It was getting harder and harder for Douxie to drag himself out of bed in the mornings.

Other than Merlin and Archie, the only people who went out of their way to talk to Douxie were Lancelot and Arthur's sister, Morgana. Whenever Lancelot went into the throne room, he would give Douxie a grin before turning to address the king. Most days, Lancelot would have to return to work immediately. When Lancelot had time to spare, he would come over to Douxie and just start talking to him about whatever was going through his head.

Douxie never knew what to say to Lancelot. The knight may be nice, but he was still a knight, and he was just a little too brash for Douxie to feel completely comfortable around him. Lancelot could probably tell how nervous Douxie was around him, but that didn't seem to discourage him. Lancelot just continued talking to Douxie, giving him some space when the boy got just a little too uncomfortable.

Morgana apparently used to be Merlin's old apprentice. She wasn't exactly the easiest person to talk to, as Douxie thought she was a little bit intense, but she treated him gently. Whenever Merlin forgot something in his workshop or needed Douxie to run a small errand for him, Morgana offered to walk with him to retrieve it. She would tell Douxie about what it was like for her to be Merlin's apprentice. Douxie didn't believe most of what she said, because she made it sound like Merlin had been even harder on her than he was on him, and yet Douxie could tell that Merlin and Morgana were practically friends now...or, at least, as close to friends as people like Merlin and Morgana could have.

It was nice, though, to listen to her talk. Even if her stories weren't true, they were pretty fun. Douxie doubted that Merlin had actually used his magic to rig a simple bet he'd made with Arthur, but the thought of it made him laugh. Merlin was supposed to be this incredible, flawless court magician, and yet here was Morgana, telling Douxie that he used to do the very things that Douxie had almost gotten killed over. Maybe Douxie should be upset about the unfairness, but he just found it funny.

Morgana also told Douxie about her childhood with Arthur, before the ban on magic had ever been set into place. She seemed really torn up about it, and Douxie knew that it was difficult and painful for Morgana to talk about. He tried to tell her that she didn't have to tell him if she didn't want to, but Morgana insisted. She said that as a young wizard in training, Douxie had every right to know exactly why there was such a harsh punishment for magic.

Douxie had heard a lot of tragic stories in his time. Most people he had met who resorted to thievery and breaking the rules did so with some kind tragic motivation. He'd heard countless sad pasts, and Douxie was almost positive that he could recount every single story just as easily as he could have the day he'd first heard them. He wasn't desensitized to heartbreaking stories though. Each person's hurt hit him just as much as the first story he'd heard did.

Morgana encouraged Douxie to take any opportunity he could to use magic. She told him it was a part of his heritage, a dying culture that he shouldn't be ashamed of, no matter what anybody else told him. Douxie liked the idea of what she said, but he wasn't as bold with his magic as she wanted him to be. Merlin kept on telling him that magic wasn't something to flaunt around, especially when people were so afraid of it and still didn't trust him. Merlin was Douxie's Master, so he was the one that Douxie had to listen to.

Douxie had a small support system in the castle. He knew that Merlin would keep him safe, Morgana would encourage him to explore his magic, and Lancelot would be there to talk about things if Douxie didn't feel like talking about magic. And then there was Archie, who Douxie knew had his back and always would. Douxie had plenty of people he could talk to, and yet he felt like this was overshadowed by how many people he had to hide who he was from.

It was incredibly overwhelming, and very lonely.

One day, about a week after Douxie started spending all his time around Merlin, a minstrel came to the castle. Douxie had been drawn in immediately. He'd seen street performers, both professionals and people who were just down on their luck and trying to make a living in any way they could, and he always enjoyed watching them. If Douxie ever had food or money to spare, which rarely ever happened, he would either give some of it to small children or to a performer.

When the minstrel started performing Douxie left his little corner and stepped a little closer to get a better look. Maybe most people didn't think that listening to a lute was a visual experience, but it was for Douxie. He was fascinated by the way that the minstrel's fingers moved across the lute, and how he could play so many notes on only fifteen strings.

Douxie might have gone right up to the minstrel and watched him up close, but Merlin put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him back to his side. Douxie was forced to watch from a distance. He didn't mind it so much. While Douxie couldn't watch exactly how the minstrel made his music, he was more than happy to just listen to the notes. He didn't understand most of the words that were being sung, but the lute was beautiful. It brought life to what otherwise would have been a long, boring monologue.

The minstrel's single song was a lot longer than the entire street shows that Douxie had seen, but he enjoyed every moment of it. When it finally ended, Douxie applauded along with everybody else, though Merlin gave him a stern look for applauding so enthusiastically and loudly when everybody else was more polite. Douxie wasn't ashamed of his excitement. He thought the minstrel had done a good job, and Douxie knew that when he did a good job, he wanted to be acknowledged with more than polite, possibly insincere applause.

King Arthur stood up from his throne. He didn't exactly look happy, but at the very least he was amused, and Douxie thought that was the closest thing to a miracle that he'd ever seen.

"Your song has been a gift to us," Arthur said. "Allow us to return the favor. Please, join us for our evening meal." Douxie was even more impressed. Arthur didn't seem very trusting of strangers. Douxie had been living in the castle for weeks, and he didn't think that Arthur would ever invite him to join him for a meal, even though Merlin, Morgana, and the knights joined him all the time.

"It would be my honor, your majesty." The minstrel bowed. Douxie would love to join this particular meal, not just because it was a royal meal, but because if they were lucky, the minstrel might play them another song. Merlin dashed his loose hopes when he thrust his magical potion vials into Douxie's hands.

"Return to the tower," Merlin said. "I'll have food sent up."

"Can't I join you and the others just this once?" Douxie asked. Merlin looked at him like he had suggested he steal the crown and claim that he was the new king of Camelot.

"With your table manners? Absolutely not," Merlin said.

Douxie scowled and stood up straighter. He may not be the most refined person in the world when it came to eating, but he thought he'd come a long way since he had first arrived. "I've improved a lot."

"Yes, you have." Merlin said, and Douxie was taken aback. He wasn't expecting Merlin to actually agree with him. Merlin didn't often offer compliments or acknowledgement. Douxie almost didn't know how to handle hearing it. "However, the royal meals last for several hours, especially if there's a guest. Do you believe you'd have the restraint to sit still and eat one meal at a time over the course of several hours?"

Douxie sighed and glared slightly at the wall. "...No, probably not," Douxie might be able to fake table manners for a short period of time, but definitely not for that long. He hated when Merlin was right.

Merlin's eyes softened slightly. "I can have the servants bring you some sweet pie and candied fruit."

Douxie's mood lifted ever so slightly. Merlin gave him all the food he could want, but he restricted how much sweets Douxie could have. Merlin said it was because he didn't want to spoil him. Douxie enjoyed sweets, and having them only every once and awhile made it feel more special. Besides, whenever Merlin got Douxie a treat, it was for a reason, usually because he wanted to make things up to Douxie, or because he wanted to reward him. Douxie had learned that when Merlin gave him a sweet, it was his way of telling him something that he didn't want to say out loud.

"Yeah, that sounds great," Douxie said. Merlin gave him a small smile and followed King Arthur and the rest of the royal court out of the throne room as they made their way to the dining hall. Douxie lingered behind to grab the last of Merlin's things that the wizard had forgotten he'd brought down in the first place. Sometimes Douxie wondered how Merlin managed things when he didn't have an apprentice to pick up his slack for him.

Merlin had been standing in one place nearly all day, and yet Douxie found jasper shards hiding behind tapestries. Douxie had to spend far too much time making sure he found all of Merlin's things. If Arthur found a single magical speck of dust lingering in his throne room, Douxie would be punished for it, no matter that it would have been Merlin's fault in the first place.

By the time Douxie was satisfied that he had grabbed all of Merlin's lingering things, everybody, even the servants, had left the throne room, leaving Douxie there by himself. He put the magical tidbits into his pockets, just so that he wouldn't drop anything in the hallways. Douxie was about to rush back to the tower, ready to dig into the meal that was probably up there waiting for him, but he paused when he saw the minstrel's lute leaning up against the wall, just sitting there.

Douxie stared at the lute in awe and slight disbelief for a moment. He'd thought that a musician's instrument would be their everything, and yet the lute had been left out on its own. Whenever Douxie had a valuable belonging, he either kept it on his person at all times, or he found a great hiding place for it. Almost everybody he knew did something similar, and not just the poor commoners either. Douxie knew for a fact that Merlin took his staff with him everywhere, not just because he relied on it for his magic, but because a wizard's staff was their most valuable possession. Even Arthur kept Excalibur at his side, and kept the rest of his treasures locked away in a hidden place that nobody else knew about.

Douxie couldn't imagine that somebody would leave something precious to them out and about. If the minstrel had left the lute here, resting carelessly against the wall, maybe it wasn't so valuable to him in the first place.

Archie nudged Douxie's leg. "Are you just going to stand there looking at it? Pick it up, give it a try."

"Wha-Archie!" Douxie hissed as he looked around anxiously. "I can't just steal the lute."

"I would hardly call this stealing." Archie said. As a dragon, Archie had an even looser sense of morality when it came to claiming things that may not necessary belong to him. As far as Archie was concerned, if you really wanted something, and you had the ability to take it, it was rightfully yours. It was in a dragon's nature to think about themselves. Actually, same with cats.

That was not to say that Archie didn't consider how others felt at all. He would only claim things if he thought that he wanted or needed it more than the original owner. Archie wasn't about to steal Merlin's staff, or food from a starving child.

"The minstrel left it out for anybody to take," Archie said the very words that Douxie had been trying to keep off his mind. He knew that Merlin didn't approve of him stealing food, and that was something he felt like he needed. There was no way that Merlin would think it was okay for him to take something that wasn't his just because he wanted it.

"And I saw the way you were looking at the lute," Archie walked up to the lute and used his paw to strum the strings. "He looked up at Douxie. "Just answer a simple question, do you want to play the lute?"

"...Yes," Douxie said.

"So what's stopping you?" Archie asked. Douxie slowly picked up the lute, and it felt pretty incredible to just be holding it in his hands. "Come on, let's hear a song."

"I don't know any songs," Douxie grinned. Still, he pulled his finger lightly across the strings and played the most basic of notes. It took a lot more force than Douxie had expected to get a clear sound out. Douxie experimentally used his left hand to hold down some of the strings the way he had seen the minstrel do. The resulting sound wasn't very pretty, but he was just experimenting.

"Why don't we do that back at the tower?" Archie asked. "I'm hungry."

"Right," Douxie was fascinated by the lute, but he wasn't about to abandon his meal. He may be more used to food than before, but he wasn't so comfortable with it that he would just abandon his food. Douxie didn't want to leave the lute behind either, not when he hadn't figured out how to even play a simple tune with it.

Douxie adjusted his grip on the lute and lowered his arm for Archie to jump onto his shoulder. He hurried back to the workshop faster than he had ever done before. He was just relieved that by now he knew how to travel between the throne room and Merlin's tower. And from the throne room, it was a lot easier to find his way to the kitchens and stables. Douxie still felt lost in the castle, but he thought he had a basic idea of how to get around.

In the tower, Douxie found two plates of hot food on the table waiting for them, as well as a small dish with candied fruit, and a platter with two small pieces of pie on it. Douxie set the lute down and grabbed the larger of the two plates. He was tempted to eat the sweets first, but his meal was hot, so that was what he ate first.

These past few weeks Douxie had learned how to pace himself when eating, but he ate this meal really quickly. The lute in the corner was taunting him, and he wanted to get back to it. Douxie ate so quickly that by the time he was finished, he actually felt full, which wasn't a feeling that he was used to. It was a nice feeling, though, to know that he'd eaten so much food that his body was actually telling him he didn't need any more.

Douxie decided to leave his sweets for later. He trusted Archie to not take his share. With no Merlin around to scold him, Douxie licked the crumbs and juices from his fingers, and then wiped his hands clean on his tunics. He quickly put all of the jasper shards and herbs where they belonged. Douxie grabbed the lute and returned to the table, which was one of the few places to sit in this workshop. Douxie sat cross-legged on the surface of the table and started strumming the lute strings one at a time.

Douxie tested what each of the strings sounded like on their own, and how they sounded with one or two other strings. It took Douxie several minutes to figure out how to position his fingers in a way that felt natural. Douxie played the notes over and over until he felt familiar with them. After a while, Douxie started to experiment with playing the notes while holding down the strings with his left hand. He spent another long while playing around with those notes.

Archie took his time eating. Unlike Douxie, Archie liked to savor his food when he could afford to. By the time Archie was finished, Douxie had gotten comfortable enough with the lute that he was able to play simple folk songs. They were very rudimentary, and barely recognizable, but Douxie was proud, and he was gradually getting better.

Archie yawned and stretched. He laid down and watched Douxie as he played. "You're getting rather good at this."

"I'm rubbish," Douxie laughed.

"You won't be if you start singing," Archie suggested, a hopeful look in his eyes. Douxie pet Archie behind his ears.

"I'm not that good at singing," Douxie said.

"Don't be ridiculous," Archie said. "Trust an old dragon who has been alive longer than you, you're great. Just humor me."

Douxie rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. He couldn't say no to Archie. He ended up playing and singing along to an old sea shanty that Douxie had learned from his grandfather. It wasn't in English, and Douxie only had a vague idea of exactly what he was singing. He was probably butchering the pronunciation, and Douxie was sure that if anybody from Kievan Rus' heard him, they wouldn't recognize it at all. It was a fun song though, and whenever Douxie sang it, he at least felt like he was honoring his paternal ancestors. He may not live near the Caspian sea, but he was still a Casperan.

As Douxie stumbled through the music of his grandfather's people, Archie started to doze off. He really was such a lazy dragon sometimes. Douxie played for a few more minutes before he switched to an old Irish lullaby that he remembered even less than the Kievan Rus' shanties. Douxie didn't remember a lot about his mother, but he remembered her singing to him.

Suddenly the door was thrown open. Archie woke up with a start, hissing and arching his back. Douxie was so startled that he clung tightly to the lute like his life depended on it. Douxie looked with wide eyes towards the door, and who he saw didn't make him feel any more relaxed.

"My lute!" the minstrel glared darkly at Douxie. Standing just behind him were the only two people that Douxie wanted to see even less than the minstrel.

"I told you the boy was eyeing the instrument," King Arthur looked like he wanted to draw his sword, but the sword at his side was Excalibur, and Arthur didn't want to waste the legendary sword on someone like Douxie.

Merlin frowned at Douxie. He didn't look angry or shocked, just incredibly disappointed, which made Douxie feel even worse.

"Hisirdoux, we've talked about this," Merlin said. "You can't just steal things." Merlin walked towards Douxie, reaching out to take the lute back. Douxie leaned away from him. His own consciousness may have been telling him to not steal the lute, but he really didn't appreciate anybody else calling it that. Archie seemed to think the same thing.

"Wait just a minute," Archie shifted into his dragon form and flew between Douxie and Merlin. "Douxie didn't steal anything. That lute was fair game."

"No, it wasn't!" The minstrel shouted.

"Think about who you're talking to," Morgana came up behind the three men. She was the only one who wasn't looking at Douxie like he was a dirty thief. "Whose idea was it to take the lute?"

Douxie didn't want to sell out his familiar, but Archie wasn't about to let him take the fall. "It was mine," Douxie said. "Douxie liked the lute, the minstrel clearly didn't care about it, so it was only fair."

''That's not how it works," Arthur said.

"It is if you're a dragon," Morgana said. "Or if you're a boy whose moral compass is a dragon."

"It's not his fault," Douxie set aside the lute and grabbed Archie. He held his familiar close.

"No, of course it's not," Merlin sighed. He looked tired. "It's in his nature."

"You're going to just let them get away with this?" The minstrel looked furious.

Arthur stormed to the table and grabbed the lute. He offered it back to the minstrel. "The boy and his pet will be punished,"

"But they will also be taught," Merlin said. The look he gave Douxie told the boy that he wouldn't enjoy the lesson very much. "When a student fails, it's the teacher's failure. I continue to underestimate how much the boy doesn't know."

Well, that made Douxie feel wonderful about himself. He'd just wanted to play the lute, and now Merlin seemed to think that he had failed as a Master. No matter what Douxie did, it never seemed good enough for Merlin.

The minstrel gave Douxie a furious and stern look, but as soon as he was given back his lute, he seemed much more content. It was obvious that the minstrel really did care about his lute. Now Douxie was just confused as to why the minstrel would leave something so important to him out in the open.

"Now that I have my property back, I really must be going." The minstrel said. Douxie didn't like his tone. It was like the minstrel thought that he was better than him. Douxie loved the lute and the music it made, but he could do without the musician.

"Of course," King Arthur led the minstrel out. Morgana gave Douxie a searching look before she turned and followed her brother. As soon as the others were gone, Merlin closed the door and gave Douxie his full attention.

"Master, I'm sorry," Douxie said sincerely. He hadn't truly meant to steal this time, and he definitely hadn't tried to disappoint his master.

"A lute, Hisirdoux?" Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you even know how to play a lute?"

"Not exactly," Douxie admitted. He hung his head shamefully. He didn't know if he was ashamed because he'd taken something that he shouldn't have, or because he wasn't very good at playing a lute. "But Master-"

"Don't 'but Master' me, Hisirdoux," Merlin said sternly.

"He was learning," Archie said in Douxie's defense. "You should have heard how good he got." Douxie didn't think that playing simple folk songs was considered good, but Merlin paused and looked somewhat impressed.

"I could only play a few songs." Douxie said quietly.

"You taught yourself how to play songs?" Merlin looked shocked. "In just a few hours?"

"He worked at it non-stop," Archie said proudly. "He's a natural." Douxie nudged Archie to try to get him to stop. Douxie didn't think that now was the best time to build him up like this. It didn't matter how good at playing the lute Douxie was, the instrument wasn't his to play.

Merlin eyed Douxie with a look in his eyes that the boy didn't understand at all. "That's a lot of dedication you put into it."

Douxie shrugged. "I just wanted to figure out how to play it," Douxie said. "The music that the minstrel made, it was...it was absolutely magical." Maybe not in the literal sense, but Douxie thought that this was almost more impressive.

Merlin sighed and brought a hand to his head. "How many times do I have to tell you, Hisirdoux, that if you want or need something, you should come to me, since you're clearly incapable of handling such situations on your own."

Douxie sat up straight. He didn't think that was very fair. Merlin may think that he was a mess who just kept on ending up in trouble, but Douxie had survived just fine before he'd met Merlin. He hadn't thrived, but Douxie thought he'd done a decent job at looking out for himself.

"What could you have done?" Douxie asked defensively. Merlin didn't seem to appreciate the attitude in his tone, and he crossed his arms.

"I could have stopped you from doing something as foolish as stealing from Arthur's guest, for one thing," Merlin said. "If we'd asked the minstrel politely-"

"What, you think he might have let me even hold his lute?" Douxie wished that Merlin would get off his high horse, because just this once he wasn't right. "Would you let a total stranger hold your wizard's staff just because they said please?" Of all the musicians that Douxie had encountered on the streets, he'd never seen any of them casually share their instruments. They were precious belongings, not just useful tools to them.

Douxie pushed himself off the table and started to pace around the workshop. "Besides, I didn't just want to hold or play the lute. I wanted it to be _mine_." Douxie didn't have many belongings that he could call his own, and the thought of owning something, anything, for himself made Douxie feel powerful.

"Why?" Merlin put his hands on Douxie's shoulders and stopped him from his pacing. "Why the lute?"

"Because...because…" Douxie sighed and lowered his gaze to the floor. "Because when I was listening to the lute, I felt normal for the first time since coming here. I didn't have to think about my work, or my magic, or behaving myself. I didn't have to worry about the knights trying to kill me, or King Arthur deciding to banish me. I was just...me."

Douxie closed his eyes as he remembered how it felt to listen to the music, how it felt to play the lute for himself. "This is really, really hard, and it feels like too much sometimes. I just wanted a way to escape from all of it."

Archie hopped off the table and nuzzled against Douxie's legs. Archie was purring, but Douxie knew it wasn't because Archie felt good, but because he wanted to comfort Douxie. Merlin sighed and loosened his grip on Douxie's shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Merlin asked.

"I didn't think you'd care," Douxie said. He rubbed the palm of his hand against his eye, which was a little wet and was starting to itch. "It's not a big deal. I'm just being stupid."

"How you feel may not be rational," Merlin admitted. "But that doesn't make them stupid." He let his hands slide off of Douxie's shoulders, and the boy knelt down next to Archie and held him close.

"I just don't feel like I truly belong here." Douxie said. "The music distracted me from that."

"Don't be ridiculous," Merlin said. "You have just as much right to be here as anybody else." Douxie didn't completely believe him. He was just Merlin's new assistant. There was no way this castle was just as much his home as it was Morgana's or Arthur's.

When Douxie didn't acknowledge his words, Merlin sighed and walked towards the windows. He looked at it for a long moment before he addressed Douxie again. "Archie mentioned you were playing songs. What kind of songs were they?"

Douxie didn't answer. Even if he told Merlin the song names, he doubted that they were tunes that Merlin was familiar with. Even if Merlin did know the songs, what difference would it make?

Archie perked up slightly. "He sang an Irish lullaby and Kievan Rus' folk tunes."

"Kievan Rus'?" Merlin turned his head to look at Douxie. That look that Douxie didn't understand was back in his eyes. "I would like to hear one of those songs."

Archie looked up at Douxie with wide eyes. Douxie knew what he wanted without him having to say anything. "I'm not going to sing." It was one thing for him to sing along to a lute when it was just for Archie. Douxie didn't really want to butcher the Kievan Rus' songs in front of Merlin.

Archie smirked and started humming. It took Douxie a moment to recognize the tune, but when he did he started humming along as well. It wasn't a Kievan Rus' song, or an Irish one, but a tune that Douxie had heard from both his mother and his grandfather.

Douxie hummed for a few minutes before he started mumbling some of the lyrics. Douxie started to become more and more confident until he was singing a song that he actually knew most of the words to. He almost forgot that Merlin was in the room at all, so he was a little startled when he heard Merlin clear his throat after he finished the song.

"What language was that?" Merlin asked.

"Uh, Old Norse," Douxie said somewhat shyly. "The language of my ancestors." On both sides of his family. "My mother's father was norse, and so was my grandfather's grandmother." It was because Douxie had Norse blood from both his father's side and his mother's side that his grandfather had insisted on teaching him about the old ways. Even though Douxie had grown up in Kievan Rus', he knew Old Norse more than he knew the language of Kievan Rus'.

"You're Nordic?" Merlin raised an eyebrow. "You never told me that."

"It never really came up," Douxie said. There was a lot of British pride in Camelot, but on the streets, and especially on the roads that connected towns to each other, nobody really cared who came from where. Norse, British, Indian, Chinese, Romani, it didn't matter, they were all considered outsiders.

"It might be for the best if it didn't come up again outside this room," Merlin said. Douxie nodded. A lot of people saw the Norse as thieves and invaders. The people of the castle already thought those things about Douxie, it wouldn't do any good to give them any more reason to not trust him.

"I won't tell anybody." Morgana said as she entered the room. She was holding an old lute in her hands. She handed it to Douxie, who accepted it almost reverently.

"Morgana, what are you doing here?" Merlin asked in a tone that was just shy of scolding. "And what is that?"

"A lute," Morgana said simply. Merlin gave her an unimpressed glare. Morgana gave Douxie a small smile. "One of the old servants had a lute. He was more than happy to part with it when I offered him some gold."

"You bought him a lute?" Merlin looked like he couldn't decide to be angry, amused, or grateful.

"I may not know Douxie well, but I know he's not a thief," Morgana said. Douxie didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that she seemed to trust Douxie more than Merlin did. "If he took the lute, it must've been important to him, so I thought I'd give him one of his own."

Douxie felt a little awkward to accept a gift that had been bought with gold, especially since he hadn't done anything to deserve it, but he wanted the lute too much to reject the gift. There were a few chips in the wood, and the strings weren't as clear sounding as the minstrel's lute, but Douxie didn't care. This lute was his, and that made it the best instrument in the world.

"Thank you," Douxie said. He grinned as he strummed out the Irish lullaby he had played earlier.

Merlin crossed his arms. He didn't look very happy, but he didn't take Douxie's lute away from him, so Douxie thought it was safe to think that this was really and truly his now.

"You shouldn't encourage him like this." Merlin said.

"Why not?" Morgana asked. She crossed her arms. "Someone has to."

"You know what I mean," Merlin scowled. "You can't reward bad behavior like this." Douxie looked between Merlin and Morgana, but they completely ignored him. He wished they wouldn't act like he wasn't in the room.

"I'm doing no such thing." Morgana looked very proud of herself. "I gave him a lute to discourage him from trying to steal another one." Well, maybe Morgana didn't have nearly as much confidence in Douxie as he'd thought she did.

"Well…" Merlin looked like he really wanted to scold both of them, but after a long moment he sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't want either of you to make a habit of this."

"I'll try," Douxie said. He really was trying to break his instinctive habit of stealing, but it was surprisingly confusing at just what was considered theft.

"Now, I thought I heard singing in here," Morgana sat down on a stack of books, looking as graceful as though she was sitting on a throne. "Why don't you show us what you've learned? I would love to hear some of your Nordic roots that you mentioned."

Douxie grinned, strummed a few experimental chords, and began to play one of his favorite songs. It was probably fortunate that Merlin and Morgana couldn't actually understand the Old Norse that he was singing. Douxie had already gotten in trouble for stealing that day, he didn't want to get himself scolded for singing cheerfully about pillaging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter started as just a little bit of Douxie being angsty and lonely at the castle, and starting to lean towards music. I spent way longer than I originally planned talking about Douxie's ancestry. I was just so excited about my little theory.
> 
> Here's my thought process. Casperan sounds a whole lot like Caspian, as in the Caspian sea, so I thought that his father's side of the family might have come from there. There are only five countries that border the Caspian sea, I can't even pronounce three of them, so I went with Russia.
> 
> However, in the 1100s, Russia was part of a territory known as Kievan Rus'. As for Douxie's mother's side of the family, he had to be at least part Irish because, well, Colin O'Donoghue. And do you know what Ireland and Kievan Rus' had in common in the 1100s? Vikings!
> 
> Another reason for Douxie to be a viking is because he uses runes to use magic, even though no other magic user that we've seen does the same thing. Why Douxie? Well, runes (at least, the traditional ones) come from Nordic culture. It just feels right.
> 
> Besides, Douxie being a viking and having a familiar who is a dragon, and this series was created by Dreamworks, it's just fun.
> 
> On another note, I've decided to start putting a Merlin tv show reference in each of these chapters. I haven't technically watched the show yet, but my sisters have, so they're helping me with this. There wasn't any reference in the first chapter, but there has been one in the second chapter and this latest one, and should be at least one in every coming chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

"Come now, Hisirdoux, give it another go." Merlin said. Douxie felt completely drained. He felt like he'd been running for the past six hours. His legs were shaking, he could barely bring himself to raise his arms, and his soul hurt. Douxie hadn't even thought that was possible, and yet here he was.

"I d-don't think I can," Douxie gasped for breath. Merlin crossed his arms.

"You cannot just give up now and leave the spell half finished." Merlin said. "Trust me, you'll feel better once you finish. Magic isn't meant to be done halfway. It's draining." Douxie could feel that for himself. He felt like he could sleep for the next week. Douxie didn't feel like he could finish this spell, and he didn't completely believe that doing so would make this fatigue go away, but Merlin seemed to know what he was talking about. Merlin was his master, and the Master Wizard here, so even though Douxie was exhausted he decided to give it another try.

"Alright, fine," Douxie took a deep breath and rolled back his shoulders. He held out his hands the way that Merlin had shown him how to do. "I'll give it one more try."

"Now, close your eyes and focus," Merlin said. "Do you feel the sun on your skin?" Douxie nodded. He could feel the warmth, just bordering on too hot, and even with his eyes closed he could almost see the bright sunlight. "Now, take that light inside of you." Douxie bit his lip and looked for the feeling of his magic, and the feeling of the sun. After working on this all day, Douxie had gotten used to finding the small connection between the two feelings and latching onto it.

Douxie pulled the warmth in and let it mingle with his magic. Douxie felt the warmth build up in his chest. It felt like a cross between having a fever and being very content. The temptation to just lay down and sleep got even stronger, but Douxie resisted it. He was so close. Douxie brought his hands together, focusing all of the magical warmth at that one spot. Douxie held his breath and slowly pulled his hands apart as he forced the magic out.

Douxie could feel the heat between his hands. He opened his eyes and laughed triumphantly when he saw a ball of blue light between his hands. It was really pale and looked weak, and it was only about the size of an apple, but Douxie could feel the warmth, like sunlight but more focused. He had actually managed the spell.

"I did it!" Douxie grinned happily at Merlin. "Look at it, I did it!"

"Yes, you did very well," Merlin's tone was a little annoyed, but he was smiling. Merlin may be trying to hide it, but Douxie could tell that he was pleased. "Just in time for the hunt tomorrow."

"Hunt?" Douxie frowned slightly and he felt his magic ball dim. "What hunt?"

Merlin sighed. He didn't look very happy, but that might just be his exhaustion showing. "Some trolls have been wandering a little too close to Camelot's borders, and Arthur is not too happy about it."

Douxie had heard a lot about trolls and Arthur's hatred for them and all other creatures of magic. Douxie had never seen one before in person, but he knew that most people were terrified of them. Douxie didn't know how he felt about hunting for trolls. On the one hand it sounded like they were creatures prone to violence. On the other hand, Douxie knew that he had a tendency to lash out when he was threatened, and a hunt certainly sounded threatening.

"What's that got to do with me?" Douxie asked. The knights were the ones who dealt with the trolls, with Arthur occasionally joining them when it was a real emergency. Douxie had heard that Merlin or Morgana could sometimes help when they had a hunt at night, but he'd never seen it happen before.

"King Arthur isn't yet convinced of your loyalty," Merlin said, and this was the closest thing to displeasure that Douxie had ever heard from Merlin when he talked about Arthur. Usually, Arthur could do no wrong in Merlin's eyes. "He insists that you use your skills to benefit the kingdom."

Douxie frowned at the warm orb floating between his hands. "How am I supposed to do that with an artificial sunlight spell?" Even as Douxie said it he realized just what was being asked of him. Everybody knew that trolls turned to stone in the sun. It was only because of this weakness that the knights were able to fight off the trolls at all. "Wait a second, you want _me_ to fight them?"

"Of course not," Merlin scoffed. "The knights will be doing the fighting, you will just be there to assist them."

Douxie's hands began to shake. The orb shuddered and flickered. It was barely giving off any heat at all. "I don't think I can do this," Douxie said. The thought of using his magic to hurt another being made him feel a little nauseous. He wasn't afraid to lie, steal, or defend himself if he didn't feel like he had any other choice, but he hated the thought of hurting anybody.

"You must," Merlin said harshly. "Arthur has very little patience for wizards as it is. He tolerates me and Morgana because we can provide services for the kingdom that nobody else can."

Douxie had very little confidence before that Arthur would ever like him, but what little hope he had was dashed in an instant. Morgana was Arthur's sister, and Merlin was his most loyal advisor, and yet he still didn't trust their magic. Douxie didn't think he would ever get into Arthur's good graces, but especially not like this.

"But Master," Douxie began, but Merlin held up a hand to quiet him.

"Don't 'but Master' me, Hisirdoux," Merlin said. "Arthur is humoring me when it comes to having you as my apprentice, but that won't last forever. You must begin to hold your own."

"Does it have to be like this though?" Douxie asked almost desperately.

"You don't know many other spells that Arthur would consider to be useful," Merlin said. "And as far as Arthur is concerned, the only good use of magic is to fight off all other kinds of magic."

Douxie let his hands fall to his sides. The glowing ball disappeared in an instant, and so did the warmth. Douxie felt chilled to the bone. He wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to bring back the nice, warm feeling.

"Can't I do something other than my magic?" Douxie asked. It wasn't as though he was completely useless outside of his powers. There were plenty of things that Douxie could do. "I could, I don't know, polish all the brass in the castle." That hadn't been what Douxie had meant to say, it was just the first thing to come to his mind.

Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. "Brass?"

"What? There's lots of brass just sitting around all day, and I'm sure the servants have better things to do than polish them." The more Douxie spoke, the more he realized how ridiculous a suggestion this was. He didn't want to admit that to Merlin though.

Merlin sighed and rubbed his forehead like he had a headache. "Hisirdoux, I understand that being near the knights is stressful for you, and your first troll hunt can be overwhelming, but I assure you, you'll do just fine. And I'll be right there to provide assistance if you need it."

Merlin wasn't normally the most encouraging person in the world, and Douxie was normally desperate to get the smallest validation from him. Hearing Merlin say something like this would normally calm Douxie down right away. He should be comforted at Merlin's confidence in him, as well as the fact that Merlin would be right there to help if it was necessary, but it just made Douxie feel slightly ill.

Douxie didn't think he would be able to help fight off any trolls they may come across, and very little of Douxie's uncertainty came from a lack of confidence in his magic. Douxie doubted he had the guts to help harm the trolls, and if those doubts proved to be right, Merlin would be right there to see him falter and fail. It wasn't a reassuring thought.

"You'll do just fine," Merlin put a hand on Douxie's shoulder. He gave him a small push towards his sleeping quarters. "Now get some rest. We leave at dawn." Douxie grimaced and tried to find the words to express his doubts and concerns. Before he could say anything Merlin had already left the tower, likely to prepare for the hunt tomorrow, and Douxie was left alone.

Douxie sighed and went into his room. He would have collapsed right onto his bed, but Archie was already lounging on it. He had been asleep, but when Douxie sat down on the edge of his bed Archie lazily cracked open his eyes.

"Did you finally manage the spell?" Archie asked.

"Yeah," Douxie frowned as he looked at his hands. He almost wished that he hadn't been able to manage it at all. If he couldn't do this sunlight spell, he wouldn't be forced to go on this hunt. Archie seemed to recognize his low spirits. Archie crawled onto Douxie's lap and nudged his hand with his head. Douxie gently scratched behind Archie's ears.

"You don't sound as excited as I thought you would be." Archie commented.

"Merlin wants me to join a troll hunt tomorrow," Douxie said. "I'm not exactly looking forward to it."

Archie sat up ever so slightly. "What did the trolls do this time?"

"As far as I can tell, they existed," Douxie said. "That seems to be a crime in and of itself in our _merciful_ king's eyes." Archie glanced somewhat anxiously towards the door, like he expected someone to come barging in to punish Douxie for his disrespectful and sarcastic words towards Arthur. Douxie knew he should be more careful, that he shouldn't speak poorly about the king whose castle he was living in, but he wasn't in a very grateful mood.

Douxie snapped his fingers and created a small flame. He didn't have a lot of spells under his belt, but creating fire was one of the first ones he had learned, before he'd ever met Archie. It had saved him from many a cold night. Douxie stared at the flickering flame. "I know trolls can be dangerous, but people say the same thing about wizards, and dragons, and any other magical creature." It didn't feel right to hunt a creature when Douxie and Archie had been persecuted in a similar way just because of how they'd been born.

"I'll come with you on the hunt," Archie nuzzled him. "You won't have to deal with the trolls or the knights on your own."

"I appreciate the offer, but I'd rather you didn't," Douxie said. "I don't want you to be mistaken for a troll and attacked."

Archie bristled. "I look nothing like a troll." Archie sounded insulted at just the suggestion, and Douxie couldn't help but chuckle. From what he'd heard, trolls were extremely diverse in how they looked, but Douxie doubted that any troll actually looked anything like a cat or a dragon. He doubted that would be enough to stop the knights though.

"Well then, I don't want you to be snatched up and eaten by a hungry troll," Douxie said. He didn't know if the rumors that he'd heard that trolls ate cats was actually true, but he didn't want to take his chances. Archie, who had heard the same rumors, reluctantly agreed.

"Just...be careful," Archie rested his paws against Douxie's chest. "I don't want to find myself a new familiar." Douxie chuckled. He always found it amusing when Archie said that Douxie was the one who was the familiar.

"Oh, we wouldn't want that," Douxie pet Archie. "I'll do my best." He laid back and closed his eyes. Merlin may have been right about Douxie feeling better after completing the spell, but he was still exhausted. He briefly considered staying up all night so he would be too exhausted to go on the hunt in the morning, but he doubted that Merlin would accept that excuse. Merlin would make Douxie go no matter what. Staying up and forcing himself to be exhausted would hurt nobody but Douxie himself.

Archie curled up on Douxie's chest and nuzzled against him as he fell back asleep. Douxie took a deep breath and it wasn't too long before he fell asleep too.

After what felt like just a few minutes Douxie was gently shaken awake by Merlin. He was exhausted and just wanted to go back to sleep, but he could smell the hot food that Merlin must have brought up, and Douxie knew that if he didn't wake up now then Merlin would resort to more extreme methods. Douxie may not want to get up, but he didn't want to be levitated into the air or be splashed with water.

"Master, are you sure I have to go?" Douxie asked as he accepted the hot loaf of bread from Merlin. He broke the bread in half and set one of the pieces onto the bed. He gently lifted Archie off his chest and laid him on the bed next to the bread.

"It won't be as horrible as you think, Hisirdoux," Merlin said. "And yes, I'm sure." Merlin seemed to be trying to keep his tone even and reassuring, but Douxie could tell that he was losing his patience. Merlin would only accept so much questioning, and he had almost reached his limit.

Douxie sighed and nodded. Merlin put a hand on Douxie's shoulder and led him out of the tower. Douxie didn't know if the hand on his shoulder was so that Merlin could make sure that Douxie followed him, or if he wanted to offer something like comfort to him. Douxie ate his bread as they walked, hoping that getting some food in his stomach would calm the pit that he could feel getting stronger with every step they took.

When they got to the barracks, Douxie saw that the sun was only just beginning to rise. Douxie was a little surprised they were leaving so early. It would be another hour or two before the sun was high enough to actually shine through the trees in the woods. The trolls wouldn't be as restricted in where they could be. Some more adventurous trolls may be more out in the open than they would be later in the day.

Maybe that was the point.

The knights were already there waiting for them. They looked like they were getting ready for a battle, not a hunt. The knights didn't even glance their way when they arrived. The only person who looked towards them was Morgana, who looked about as happy about this hunt as Douxie was. When Morgana saw Douxie, she looked even more disgusted and furious. Morgana stormed over to Merlin.

"You're bringing the boy?" Morgana asked. Merlin tightened his grip on Douxie's shoulder.

"He knows the necessary spell," Merlin said.

"This isn't about his magical capabilities," Morgana hissed. "This is about the fact that he's too young to be exposed to such ruthlessness, let alone to be dragged into the middle of it."

Douxie scowled slightly at Morgana. He didn't appreciate that she was talking about him, but not to him. She frequently did this when Merlin was around. He also didn't like that Morgana seemed to think that he needed to be sheltered. Douxie was most certainly not too young to know what ruthlessness was. He'd been on the streets since he was young. Douxie had seen things that Morgana probably couldn't imagine, and he'd heard about even worse.

"He's not a child." Merlin scoffed. "He has to learn sooner or later how to serve the kingdom."

"Serving the kingdom?" Morgana looked taken aback for a moment before her expression darkened. "Let me guess, this was my brother's idea." Merlin's silence was confirmation enough for her. Morgana scowled and looked towards the castle. "I'll be having words with him." Morgana returned her glare to Merlin. "I expect you to keep your young apprentice safe. He won't be much good to the kingdom if he gets himself killed."

Douxie frowned. He may not be a Master Wizard or a knight, but he could take care of himself. It might have just been this desire to prove himself to Morgana that led Douxie to find the will to follow Merlin and the Knightswhen they left the barracks and made their way towards the forest. He may not want to do this, but that didn't mean that he wasn't capable.

Douxie stayed close to Merlin's side as they walked. While the knights were even more tense than Douxie was, as though they expected monsters to jump out at them, Merlin was completely relaxed. Merlin looked like they were taking a small morning stroll. Douxie heard a few rustles in the forest as they went, but other than that it was rather uneventful.

They walked for several minutes before Merlin stopped, holding his arm out to stop Douxie from continuing forward. Merlin finally looked tense. "That's the Wild Wood ahead." The trees didn't look any different to Douxie, other than maybe the smoke curling around the ground, making everything look spookier. Douxie could feel a difference though. It felt like something was reaching out to him, calling for him.

"There's magic out there," Douxie said breathlessly. Merlin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, the Wild Wood is the home of all the trolls and many other creatures of magic." Merlin said.

Douxie stared at the trees in quiet, wary awe. Douxie felt similar to how he imagined most humans would feel when they encountered a calm, sleeping dragon. It was astonishing, but also absolutely terrifying. This was one of the situations where Douxie would be more than happy to sit at a safe and respectful distance. The knights didn't seem to believe the same thing.

"Come on, men, let's go," Lancelot said. "We're burning daylight." He led the way into the trees, and the others all followed him.

"Wha-what are we doing?" Douxie asked. "We're not really going in there, are we?" Merlin had already started following the knights, and Douxie had little choice but to follow him.

"Of course we are," Merlin scoffed. "We came here to find the trolls, and the Wild Wood is where they are."

"But...but that's where their home is." Douxie said frantically. His stomach was hurting and he felt like he was going to be sick. For the first time in his life, Douxie regretted eating that bread this morning. Douxie grabbed Merlin's arm to pull him back. "Master, you said that the trolls were coming too close to Camelot. Why are we going into _their_ territory?"

"Because it's what Arthur told us to do." Merlin said sternly.

"But it's not right." Douxie said. It was one thing to go after trolls that were close to the castle, as it could be argued that they were a threat, but to go after them in their own home just because King Arthur was paranoid? It wasn't just unfair, it was barbaric. "Master-" Douxie froze when he heard a loud roar that seemed to shake him down to the core. Just out of sight, the knights were shouting and yelling out battle cries. They seemed to have found the trolls.

Douxie's legs felt weak. "I can't do this." It wasn't about ' _think'_ anymore. Douxie was completely confident in his inability to help fight the trolls."

"You can, you must, and you _will_." Merlin grabbed Douxie's arm and pulled him towards the sound of fighting. Douxie tried to resist him, but Merlin was surprisingly strong for someone his age. "Remember what I taught you. Feel the sun, take it in, and bring it out."

Douxie wasn't sure if he was able to do the spell, even if he wanted to. He felt nothing but cold, and he didn't think it was just because of the early hour and sparse amount of sunlight. Douxie didn't want to let Merlin down though, so he shakily reached out for what little amount of heat he could find.

When they reached the knights Douxie was able to get his first real look at a troll. They were as frightening as the stories suggested, but some of them looked more terrified than terrifying. Only two or three of the trolls were actively fighting back. The other five or so were just desperate to escape. Douxie felt a pang in his heart when he saw a large but unarmed troll pleading for mercy.

"Master," Douxie started to try to plead with Merlin one more time, but his Master wouldn't hear another word.

"Focus, Hisirdoux." Merlin finally let go of Douxie's arm. He took his staff and started casting the sunlight spell towards the more troublesome trolls. Douxie shook his head. His breath quickened as he watched the trolls one-by-one get turned to stone as they were exposed to Merlin's magic. The increased threat just made the remaining trolls panic more and fight back harder.

" _Hisirdoux._ " Merlin's tone was stiff. He was losing what little patience he had.

"I...I can't," Douxie almost wanted to close his eyes, cover his ears, and pretend that the fight wasn't going on around him, but he couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away. He couldn't help but take in every detail.

Merlin scowled and rounded on Douxie. He was going to give Douxie an earful, but that was the last thing on Douxie's mind.

"Master, look out!" Douxie cried out. A nearby troll had noticed how distracted Merlin was and it seemed to be trying to take advantage of it. The troll had it's weapon raised, ready to strike. There wasn't time to really come up with a plan. Douxie's instincts took over. He let out his magic, sending a sphere of magic sunlight right into the troll's chest.

The reaction to Merlin's spell had been immediate. His trolls had turned to stone right away, likely before the trolls even had any idea what happened. Douxie's victim wasn't nearly as lucky. The stone spread slowly from the troll's chest, and Douxie couldn't help but stare in horror at the terrified troll who knew exactly what was coming. Douxie didn't think he'd ever seen somebody so scared in his life.

"I...I didn't…" Douxie leaned weakly against a tree. "What have I done?"

"What was necessary," Merlin said. He gave Douxie a sympathetic look, but the battle was still going on around them. Merlin still had work to do. He turned away from Douxie and started using his magic again. Where Douxie hadn't been able to look away from the battle before, he couldn't watch it anymore. Douxie's eyes were only on the poor, scared, stone troll in front of him.

A few short minutes later all the noise died down as the one-sided battle ended. No more shouting, no more shattering stone, just the sounds of victory, as if they had done anything worth celebrating.

"Hisirdoux," Douxie didn't react at all when Merlin put a hand on his shoulder. He just stared in wide eyes at the stone troll. He couldn't register seeing anything else around him. Even when Merlin stepped close in front of him, blocking his view of the troll, Douxie just stared unseeing ahead. "Hisirdoux, you've done well."

Douxie had never hated hearing Merlin praise him. He had done the spell successfully, and he'd done it quickly without thinking twice about it, but the twisted feeling in Douxie's gut kept him from seeing this as a victory.

"This shouldn't have happened," Douxie said numbly. "They didn't deserve this. Why...why did we have to attack them?"

"It's our job," Merlin said grimly. "It's not pleasant, but it's necessary."

"But it wasn't," Douxie finally looked Merlin in the eye. "They weren't threatening us, they were just...here." If this was the kind of thing that Douxie would have to do to be a wizard, he didn't think he wanted to learn magic anymore. It wasn't worth this.

Merlin sighed. "Perhaps Morgana was right." Merlin looked around them. The knights were beginning to move onward. The hunt wasn't over yet. Douxie let out a groan that probably sounded more like a whimper. He couldn't do this again. Merlin lightened his grip on his shoulder. "I think we've had enough for today."

Douxie knew that the hunts normally lasted for hours, and the knights wouldn't return to the castle until the midday meal, but he didn't say anything. If Merlin was going to suggest they go home early, Douxie certainly wasn't going to complain. Douxie nodded. His legs were still shaking, but he was somehow able to force his legs to move on step at a time as Merlin led the way home.

The sun was in the sky, but Douxie felt done with the day. He wanted nothing more than to lay down in his bed and block everything out. He wasn't sure if Merlin would allow it, but Archie would insist on it. Douxie wasn't afraid of getting his familiar to talk to Merlin on his behalf, especially not for something like this. His chest hurt, his legs felt like they would give out on him any second, and his head was swimming so much he almost felt like he was drowning. He couldn't be a magician today, he couldn't be Merlin's apprentice. He just couldn't do it.

He just needed to go back to bed. He couldn't handle anything more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by just one line of Merlin's in the show. He said that Douxie believed that all life was precious. In the show, we saw that Douxie, of course, valued the lives of those he cared about, but when I hear that someone cares about all life, I take that to mean all life, including their enemies. I wanted to go into that a bit. 
> 
> And I thought that it would be appropriate for Douxie to value all life when Nari left the Arcane Order for that exact reason. I feel like it just makes their connection stronger and incredibly beautiful.


	5. Chapter 5

After the disaster that was the troll hunt, Merlin had to come up with a new way for his apprentice to use his magic to benefit the kingdom. Arthur wasn't an especially patient man. Merlin knew the king would only wait so long before demanding that Hisirdoux serve him in the same way that Merlin and Morgana did. No matter how many times the two Master Wizards explained it, Arthur didn't seem to understand that even though Hisirdoux was an adult, he was by no means a skilled enough wizard to serve anybody other than himself.

It had taken a few weeks of careful consideration and preparation, but Merlin had come up with a proper plan. Trolls were far from the only magical creatures that Arthur considered a threat. There were fairies, dragons, mages, goblins, and other such beings who they couldn't risk destroying. For some creatures, Merlin harvested ingredients from them, like naiad hair and dragon scales, but he couldn't exactly restock on those ingredients if all of those beings were either killed off or chased out of the kingdom. Then there were the creatures like fairies and goblins, who took revenge on those who wronged them. Even Arthur wouldn't be foolish enough to proclaim war on these creatures the way he did with the trolls.

While the knights were the ones who dealt with the trolls, Merlin and Morgana took care of all the other magical creatures that wandered just a bit too close to Camelot's borders. Merlin was a little shocked at how hard Hisirdoux took killing a troll, but he couldn't blame the boy. Taking one's life wasn't for everybody, and though it complicated matters a bit, Merlin did admire Hisirdoux for his kind-hearted nature. He would have thought that after living on his own and taking care of himself for so long, Hisirdoux would be more cold and distant.

It was more difficult to deal with the creatures other than trolls, but if his apprentice didn't want to do any real harm, Merlin was sure that this would be the method that the boy would prefer.

Merlin dedicated several magic lessons to teaching Hisirdoux the necessary spells for dealing with a variety of creatures. The easiest of all of them was the sleeping spell, which Hisirdoux was already familiar with, but just because something was easy didn't mean that it was simple. Merlin had to teach his apprentice how to make the spell powerful enough to last for nearly a day, which would allow enough time to relocate creatures like goblins.

The one spell that Hisirdoux took to like a natural, and the one that was Archie's favorite, was the one that turned ordinary rocks into precious gems. At least Merlin knew that Hisirdoux, with his magic and his silver tongue, would be able to bribe a dragon to leave the kingdom. If dragons were a common enough threat in Camelot, Arthur would probably be satisfied with the boy handling them. However, dragons only came to Camelot once every five or so years, which was fortunate for the kingdom, but unfortunate for the boy to prove himself.

The most useful and harmless spell that Hisirdoux could use against magical creatures was a calming spell, which was the very kind of spell that he struggled with. Whenever he attempted it, the boy got flustered and nervous, and if the boy wasn't calm, he couldn't expect to successfully calm a rampaging enemy. Merlin didn't give up at teaching the boy, because this was a very important spell for somebody like Hisirdoux, who frequently landed himself in hazardous situations.

Merlin spent nearly a week trying to teach the boy a calming spell, but Hisirdoux just wasn't picking up on it. Magic may take time to perfect, but he didn't seem to be making progress at all. Merlin decided to try a different tactic. Hisirdoux' magic was almost completely instinctive. He _could_ learn how to willfully use magic, but it was rather difficult for him. Merlin knew that if he wanted Hisirdoux to properly learn this spell, he would have to trick his instincts into coming out.

"Master, are you sure this is a good idea?" Hisirdoux asked as he moved the last of Merlin's spellbooks to the side and safely out of the way.

"I assure you, Hisirdoux, it is completely safe," Merlin said as he took his staff and cast an illusion of the knight Galahad. Merlin, who knew the knight well, didn't believe that he was a very confrontational man. Galahad was loyal and protective, and Merlin admired him for that. Hisirdoux' limited experience with Galahad gave him a different view. The boy saw Galahad as strict and intimidating, which was why Merlin chose this knight as the base of his illusion. If Hisirdoux was going to instinctively calm anybody, it would be somebody he wanted to avoid confrontation with, such as Galahad.

Even though it was just an illusion, Hisirdoux stiffened when he saw Galahad standing in front of him. They both knew that Merlin's illusion couldn't harm him, but not many people felt completely comfortable having a sword, even a fake one, aimed at them. Hisirdoux took a deep breath and raised his arms defensively.

"Do you remember what you must do?" Merlin asked.

"Stay calm and-" Hisirdoux flinched when the illusion Galahad swung his sword. "-and don't let my fear show."

"You need to share your calming energy, and you can't do that if you let your nerves get the best of you." Merlin said sternly.

"I know, I know, just…" Hisirdoux took in a shaky breath. "Just give me a minute." Merlin would be willing to give Hisirdoux all the time he needed. They weren't in any rush. In a real confrontational situation, time would be of the essence, but this was a safe environment. Merlin would rather Hisirdoux take his time and learn how to do the spell right than for him to rush himself and mess things up.

Messing up spells could end disastrously. Sleeping spells might backfire and affect the caster instead. Rocks that were turned into gemstones may turn back into rocks after just a few hours, which was a fairly harmless consequence in and of itself, but could be deadly if the gemstones had been used as a bribe for dragons. Merlin suspected that if a calming spell backfired, it might aggravate someone instead of soothing them. Merlin didn't believe that his illusion spell could be aggravated, but there was no reason to tempt fate.

"Take your time," Merlin said. For reasons he didn't understand, his words only seemed to make Hisirdoux more nervous. "It's just an illusion. There's nothing to fear."

"Yeah, I know that," Hisirdoux scowled, some of his irritated attitude showing through. Merlin didn't understand where this boy got his attitude from. It would be suicide to live on the streets and be so disrespectful to everybody. "You're not helping."

Merlin huffed and crossed his arms, unimpressed. If you don't want my advice then please, show me how you've mastered this spell."

Hisirdoux grimaced and glared at Merlin. The calming spell he had started forming began to flare out. Hisirdoux yelped and lowered his arms sharply, dropping the spell completely.

"Would you stop that?" Hisirdoux said nearly desperately. "I can't focus with you judging me."

"I'm _teaching_ you," Merlin said. That required a fair amount of judgement, otherwise how was he supposed to know what Hisirdoux was doing wrong and how he could improve?

Hisirdoux sighed and started to gather up his magical energy. Merlin could tell that it wasn't as strong as it should be, but if Hisirdoux didn't want his assistance, he wouldn't provide it. The boy needed to learn his limits. Hisirdoux closed his eyes and took a deep breath. With most any other spell, Hisirdoux' magic would likely get stronger at this point, but if anything it wavered even needed to allow his instincts to take control, which meant that he had to believe that there was somebody who needed to be calmed.

Merlin waved his staff in the air and his illusion of Galahad made the same motion with his sword. Hisirdoux gasped, his eyes opened wide in a panic. The boy tossed his half-formed spell at the illusion of Galahad. The illusion, which was outlined in green, the color of Merlin's magic, flared up a bright blue before it dimmed to a teal color. The expression on the illusion's face darkened and it tightened its grip on its sword. Hisirdoux whimpered and took a step back, only for the illusion to step towards him.

"Master, this isn't funny," Hisirdoux' gaze darted to Merlin for a moment before it quickly returned to the illusion of Galahad.

"Does it look like I'm laughing, boy?" Merlin scowled. He stomped his staff on the ground to end his spell, but nothing happened. Merlin narrowed his eyes and waved his staff, but the illusion didn't follow his command. "You've agitated my spell."

"I didn't try to!" Hisirdoux' voice cracked. "Make it stop!" He yelped and ducked when the illusion swung its sword at him.

"I can't." Merlin said. "Your magic has mingled with and corrupted mine." Perhaps corrupt was a strong word, but Merlin didn't know how else to explain it. "You need to undo your spell before I can regain control of mine."

"I don't even know what I did!" Hisirdoux looked around for something to save him. "This...it's just an illusion, right? It can't hurt me."

"It shouldn't." Merlin said. The illusion should be just that, an illusion. He had no way of knowing just how his magic would react to Hisirdoux'. The boy still looked nervous, but he clearly wanted to trust Merlin's word. "It's not that difficult, Hisirdoux. Just take a deep breath and pull your magic back."

Hisirdoux took in a forced, shuddering breath as he held his hands out. Before he could reclaim his powers, the illusion of Galahad swung his sword at him, hitting the boy solidly in the chest. Because it was an illusion, it didn't stab through him, but there was force behind Merlin's magic. The force knocked Hisirdoux back harshly, throwing him against the wall.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, while at the same time it went too quickly for Merlin to do anything about it. He couldn't do anything but watch as Hisirdoux hit the wall so harshly that he could hear the impact. All the shelves where Merlin kept his potions and larger potion ingredients shook.

The force of Hisirdoux hitting the wall caused the vials to shake just enough that some of them tipped over. Merlin grimaced as his potions dripped down into the drawers where he kept many of his ingredients. Those goods would be contaminated, and it would take months to replace all of it.

Contaminated ingredients were the least of Merlin's worries at the moment though. He watched in concern as a few drops of various potions fell onto Hisirdoux' head. Merlin knew what each and every one of his potions was created for, but they weren't meant to be mixed with each other. There was no telling just what effect the potions might have on him.

"Hisirdoux," Merlin stepped towards his young apprentice. The boy flinched and tried to stagger back, only to hit the wall again, jostling the vials. It wasn't too bad, just making some of the jars shake, but one of the larger potion containers, which had broken when it had fallen over, rolled off the edge of the shelf. It fell and struck Hisirdoux' hand, stabbing into it deeply.

The boy's eyes clouded over and he swayed slightly on his feet. He moved to pull the glass out of his hand, but both of his hands were shaking too harshly and he accidentally pushed the glass deeper in. It looked incredibly painful, but Hisirdoux didn't even cry out in pain. He just looked drowsy, and when Merlin took a closer look at the potion he knew why. It was a sleeping serum, an especially potent one. Just a few drops could make someone fall asleep, and keep them asleep for several hours. Merlin didn't want to think about how the potion could affect someone when it was exposed directly to their blood.

Merlin moved towards Hisirdoux and caught him just as he started to fall forward, already unconscious. "Hisirdoux!" The boy's breathing had slowed so much that for a horrifying moment Merlin thought that he had stopped breathing completely.

Merlin frowned in confusion when he saw a light wave of pale blue magic, Hisirdoux' magic, flow into the boy. Following the magic's start, Merlin saw his Galahad illusion, back to its normal green color. Merlin reached for his magic and pulled it back. He was far too relieved when the illusion disappeared and the magic returned to him. His magic was no longer limited by the corruption of Hisirdoux' magic. The boy's accidental spell must have worn off when he'd fallen unconscious.

At least that was one less problem he had to worry about.

"You're much more trouble than you're worth, boy, Merlin scowled, not truly meaning it. Hisirdoux was a handful, but he couldn't resent the boy for that, and he wasn't about to just leave him to his own devices either. As long as Hisirdoux needed his assistance, and there was help he could provide, Merlin would do what he could to help him. It was his duty as his master.

Merlin carefully grasped at the glass in his apprentice's hand. The bottle had broken on impact, leaving just a few large shards in the boy's hand, and it only took Merlin a moment to pull them out. The wound bled quite a bit. Normally this wouldn't be too much of a concern, as Merlin had healing salves and potions, but those were among the potions that had spilled over. He would have to care for the hand in the normal way.

Merlin picked up Hisirdoux, frowning at just how light the boy felt in his arms. It just didn't feel healthy. That would have to be a concern for a later time. He had to focus on what he could do now. Merlin carried Hisirdoux to his room, partially to give him a comfortable bed to rest on, and partially to get him away from the spilled potions.

The moment that Merlin stepped into Hisirdoux' room, Archie, who was resting on the bed, lazily opened an eye and looked up at them. The moment that Archie laid eyes on Hisirdoux, his eyes widened in alarm. He stood up and arched his back. Archie transformed into dragon form and spread out his wings to make him look larger and more intimidating.

"What did you do?!" Archie glared harshly at Merlin. The old wizard suspected that the only thing keeping the familiar from blowing fire at him was the fact that he had Hisirdoux in his arms.

"I did nothing," Merlin scowled, though privately he was wondering the same thing. His young apprentice was unconscious and hurt because he'd been attacked by Merlin's own magic. He may not have done it on purpose, but that didn't excuse anything.

Merlin laid Hisirdoux on the bed, and Archie immediately jumped onto his chest and hissed threateningly at Merlin. It took some quick thinking for Merlin to think of something to say to keep the familiar from attacking him.

"I need your help," Merlin said. "Be angry if you like, but we must think about Hisirdoux right now." Merlin kept his gaze on Archie. He couldn't bring himself to look at his apprentice's face. It was too still, too calm. It didn't suit him at all.

Archie huffed, making smoke come out of his nostrils. His tail twitched in aggravation. "...Fine," Archie folded his wings back. "What can I do?"

"Does Hisirdoux still have his small stash of potion ingredients?" Merlin asked.

"You said he was allowed to have them." Archie hissed.

"I'm not angry with him," Merlin was starting to become rather tense. The longer he left the drops of sleeping serum in Hisirdoux' blood unattended, the more potentially dangerous it could be for him. He didn't have time to deal with an irritated familiar. "My potions and ingredients are unusable, but I need to make a cure."

Archie frowned and gestured under the bed. "We don't have a lot yet, but what you've given him is in the crate to the left." Merlin would prefer that Archie grab the ingredients himself, as he was too old to be kneeling on the ground and reaching like a teenager for secrets hidden under the bed. Archie didn't look like he was interested in moving from Hisirdoux' chest any time soon, and it would probably be a mistake for Merlin to try to force him.

Merlin pulled out the crate and looked through the ingredients available. There was very little variety. Most of the ingredients were just common, everyday things that Merlin normally had a surplus of. Fortunately, for the cure that Merlin was thinking of, these simple ingredients were almost all that he needed.

"This should do well," Merlin carefully considered the ingredients he had before him. It should be just enough to make just a single portion, which was all that he needed. "I need a few additional ingredients though," Merlin looked at Archie, who was watching him suspiciously. "Can you fetch some spices from the kitchen and a sea holly flower?"

Archie's claws dug into Hisirdoux's tunic. "Why don't _you_ go?"

"You can travel faster than I can," Merlin said. "And someone has to stop the bleeding and get started on the potion." Archie's fur bristled, but after a long moment he sighed and nodded.

"If _anything_ happens to Douxie while you're watching him, I will show you just how fearsome an angry dragon is," Archie said before he flapped his wings and took off. It was difficult to take such a small and furry dragon seriously, but Merlin knew that Archie's words weren't just an empty threat. He was fiercely protective of Hisirdoux.

Merlin sighed and just looked at his young apprentice for a long moment. The boy was far too still. He may be sleeping, but Merlin knew far too much about magic to take that as a reassurance. Sleeping potions could be lethal when not used correctly, and direct exposure to blood was certainly not how the potion was supposed to be used. Merlin doubted that Hisirdoux would die from this incident, but if just a few more drops had gotten under his skin it could have been a completely different story. It was chilling just how close to disaster they had come, and Merlin blamed himself.

He knew this accident was just that, an accident. It was unfortunate, and something they should try to avoid in the future, but an accident nonetheless. Still, Merlin felt he should have been better prepared for something like this. He was a Master Wizard, he should be able to have complete control of his magic. Merlin had learned years ago how to keep his magic from being corrupted by other wizards, but he'd let his guard down around Hisirdoux. The boy may still be learning, but that was no excuse. Hisirdoux' magic may be immature, but it was quite powerful and had a lot of potential, especially when the boy was under stress and felt the need to protect himself.

Merlin grabbed the washing bucket that he had convinced Hisirdoux to keep in his room. It was his way of encouraging the boy to be more hygienic. The water would come in handy to clean the wound and wash the potions out of his hair. Merlin would normally use his magic to conjure water, as it would be easier and he would be sure that the water was clean, but he didn't trust himself at the moment. Merlin's magic wasn't nearly as temperamental as Hisirdoux', but things could still go horribly wrong if he tried to use a spell when he was concerned or stressed.

Hisirdoux had already been hurt that night because of Merlin's lack of control with his magic, and he wasn't going to risk it happening again.

Merlin slowly and as gently as he could began to clean the cut. It was bleeding quite a bit, and it looked quite deep. If Merlin's potions were still uncorrupted, he would use the healing salve. The cut would heal over in a moment, and it wouldn't even leave a scar, but he couldn't do that. Merlin had to treat the cut without magic, let it heal on its own, and deal with the guilt he would surely feel every time he would see the scar that he knew would form.

Hisirdoux had a lot of scars, and he didn't seem bothered by any of them, but Merlin wondered if that would still be the case for an injury that had been caused by his master's own negligence.

Trying to deal with his apprentice's injury, Merlin couldn't help but remember a time many years ago when he'd done something incredibly similar. It was when Morgana had just barely started to learn her magic, and she and Merlin didn't quite trust each other. Back then, Merlin had been concerned that Morgana was conspiring to kill the king. He didn't have any proof, and even now Merlin had no idea where his conviction had come from, but he had been so concerned and cautious.

Merlin had let himself get careless. At one point he'd lost control of his magic and allowed it to flare out. A startled Morgana had ended up falling down the staircase and hitting her head really badly. Morgana had nearly died. Merlin had been lucky that everybody had been convinced it was an accident. Nobody had known of his involvement, but Merlin had spent a long time blaming himself. His nightmares had been haunted with the memory of the sound of Morgana hitting her head, and Merlin knew that he would end up with a few more sleepless nights because of this incident.

After Merlin finished leaning the cut as much as he could, he carefully bound the injury. Merlin knew that his treatment of the cut had to be painful, especially since he wasn't exactly skilled in this kind of thing, but Hisirdoux didn't so much as shift or moan as he worked. The boy just continued to sleep. Merlin quickly used his powers to get the blood and dirt out of the water and cloth so he wouldn't make a large mess when he cleaned out Hisirdoux' hair.

As soon as Merlin was finished, he grabbed the necessary ingredients for the potion that should wake up Hisirdoux. He wanted the potion to be as ready as it could be when Archie returned. He needed to give this cure to the boy as soon as possible.

The familiar returned sooner than Merlin had expected him to. For a moment, Merlin was worried that Archie hadn't been able to find the sea holly flower, but the small dragon had a few of them tucked under his wing. Archie must have flown really quickly to get the flower so soon. The familiar set the flowers down in front of Merlin as well as a small bag he must have grabbed from the kitchen. Archie immediately returned to his spot on Hisirdoux' chest where he watched as Merlin worked.

The wizard ground up the flower petals and pushed the liquids out of the flower stems. He added these, as well as the prepared spices, to his potion. He let his magic slip into the potion, and then he poured it into a cup. He would normally let his potions sit overnight, at the very least, just to make sure that his magic had time to properly settle in, but he didn't have time for that right now.

Merlin raised Hisirdoux' head, opened his mouth, and slowly poured the potion in, careful to not make the boy choke. Almost immediately, to Merlin and Archie's relief, the boy coughed and moaned. He was still asleep, but Merlin was confident this was a more natural sleep rather than one influenced by magic. Hisirdoux would be just fine, at least for now. Merlin couldn't shake his concern though. This had been a close call, and it hadn't been the only time that Hisirdoux had found himself in danger.

This boy just had a knack for finding trouble. Merlin knew that magic attracted danger, and he and Morgana both faced their own fair share of trouble, but it was different for them. Hisirdoux didn't have enough control of his magic to be able to get himself out of the trouble he found himself in. The boy needed assistance, but there was only so much that Merlin could do for him. He couldn't keep Hisirdoux from wandering into trouble.

However, there was something that he could do, a way to insure that the boy didn't get himself killed.

Merlin put his hands on Hisirdoux' head and let his magic flow over him. Hisirdoux grimaced and shifted in his sleep, but didn't wake up. Merlin paused in his spell when he felt Hisirdoux' own powers flare up in response, but when nothing else seemed to happen Merlin continued. He was grateful that at the moment Hisirdoux' magic was so weak, because it couldn't fight back against the sudden intrusion. Merlin did not want a repeat of that afternoon's incident.

Archie glared at Merlin. "What are you doing?"

"This is a protection spell." Merlin said. A more subtle one than he would normally do, but this was more for the long-term than just for a single battle. It was just a protective barrier of magic that should keep Hisirdoux from getting too hurt. It wouldn't be able to keep him safe from everything, but it was the best that Merlin could do.

Archie relaxed ever so slightly. He nuzzled close to Hisirdoux. Merlin watched them for a moment, feeling like he was intruding in a private moment.

Merlin brushed some of the hair out of Hisirdoux' face before he stood up to leave the two of them alone. He should let Hisirdoux rest. Besides, his workshop needed to be cleaned. Merlin needed to see if there were any potions, tools, or ingredients that he could salvage. And he had a lot of thinking to do. Merlin had sworn to teach the boy how to use and control his magic, but he wasn't so sure how to do that. Merlin wasn't normally afraid of experimentation, but that was what he'd done today, and just look at what had happened.

Merlin didn't know what method to use to teach Hisirdoux, and now he was worried that anything he tried could end in disaster. How was he supposed to teach his apprentice when he didn't know what he needed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason why I think that Merlin put some kind of protective spell or something on Douxie is because that boy gets shoved around so much in the show, and doesn't seem the least bit injured. Even after his fall where he nearly dies, Douxie is able to walk away from it with just some soreness, probably not even any broken bones.
> 
> You have no idea how much time I spent thinking about just what could have caused the scar on Douxie's thumb. I think it's a relatively recent wound, because of how large it is. In my personal experience (and I've heard this can be different for other people), scars don't exactly grow with the rest of the body. I have a scar from when I was younger, about 9-10, and when I look at it now it looks a lot smaller than I remember the cut being when I first got it, because my hand grew, but the scar didn't. If Douxie got the scar on his hand when he was little, at least if his scar is anything like mine, it would probably look a lot smaller.
> 
> It's because of how jagged the scar is that I decided to have the cut come from a broken bottle. There just aren't many things that can cause such a jagged cut., as most cuts that I'm aware of are fairly straight.


	6. Chapter 6

Douxie stared at the door in front of him. He'd been standing here for nearly five minutes, and he was no closer to actually knocking on the door as he was when he first showed up here. Archie looked at him in concern, but he didn't say anything. Archie knew how Douxie felt about being here. It was something that he felt he needed to do, but that didn't make it any easier.

Douxie took in a shaky breath. "This is so stupid. There's no reason for me to be so nervous. I'm just here to talk to Morgana."

"You shouldn't get in trouble for that," Archie said.

"Then why do I have the feeling that Merlin will kill me for this?" Douxie asked.

"Don't be ridiculous," Archie leapt off his shoulders and flew just in front of him. "He wouldn't kill you. Maim or torture, maybe."

"Oh, thank you, that's very reassuring." Douxie hated how casual Archie was treating this. Here he was, so anxious and needing several minutes to work up the nerve to just enter the room, and Archie was making jokes.

"Do you really think that Merlin will get mad at you for asking for help?" Archie tilted his head at him.

"I don't know." Douxie frowned. "It might be one of those unspoken rules that he just expects me to know, like no stealing."

"I'll tell you what, if he wants to get mad at you, tell him that it was my idea." Archie said. Douxie grimaced. He wasn't so sure about that. Merlin seemed to find any excuse to blame Douxie for the smallest things. He wouldn't let him get away with blaming his familiar, even if it was true. Archie sighed and nudged Douxie. "You want to learn magic, don't you?"

"Of course I do." Douxie frowned. "But-"

"And if Merlin's not going to be teaching you, it's only fair for you to find help somewhere else." Archie pointed out.

"He never said he wouldn't teach me," Douxie said. "Master's just been...busy." Even as he said it, Douxie knew how weak an excuse it was. Ever since the incident about two weeks ago Merlin hadn't taught Douxie any new spells. He wouldn't even let him practice the magic that he already knew unless he was supervised, but Merlin always had some excuse as to why he couldn't help him.

Douxie understood that as a Master Wizard, and King Arthur's own personal court wizard, Merlin was incredibly busy. However, going two weeks without having even five minutes to spare seemed a little excessive. There was no denying it, Merlin was avoiding teaching him, and he hadn't even given a good reason as to why.

Douxie really wanted to learn magic from Merlin, the greatest sorcerer in the land, but his Master wouldn't even give him the time of day. Douxie knew that he needed to learn how to control his powers, Merlin had told him as such multiple times. He couldn't just sit around and wait. If Merlin wasn't going to teach him, he had to go to somebody else.

Douxie took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A long moment passed before the door opened, and Douxie immediately wished that he had put this off until tomorrow. He felt his face go red and he took a step back. Morgana's hair was down and draped over her shoulders. Normally Douxie's eyes would be drawn to her hair, as she was usually so careful about keeping it tied back, but he was too distracted by her clothes, or lack thereof.

"M-my lady," Douxie stammered. He forced himself to look Morgana in the eyes. If he looked anywhere else, he didn't think he'd be able to get any of his words out. Morgana wasn't wearing her usual royal tunic or dress, but just a simple chemise. Douxie was used to seeing the edges of chemises and undershirts beneath everyday outfits, especially among the common people, but he'd never seen anybody in just a chemise before. For that somebody to be Morgana, a Master Wizard and the half sister to the king, it was a little horrifying.

"Hisirdoux, are you alright?" Morgana asked. She didn't look the least bit confused or irritated as to what he was doing there so late when she was clearly getting ready to settle down for the night. There was nothing but concern in her voice.

"I-I'm fine," Douxie swallowed thickly. When he didn't say anything more Morgona furrowed her brow in very slight confusion. Archie gave Douxie a scolding look and landed on his shoulders. He gave him a nudge. Douxie cleared his throat. "I-I just wanted to...would you be willing to…" It was so much harder to ask than he thought it would be. Douxie nervously began to rub at his left hand. Morgana's gaze followed the movement.

"Does your hand hurt?" Morgana grabbed his right hand and gently pulled him into the room. Douxie was too startled to resist. By the time he got over his shock, Morgana had pushed him to sit on the foot of her bed. She knelt in front of him and began to unwrap his hand. Douxie sat stiffly and just watched her work.

"A-actually, it feels fine," Douxie finally forced himself to say. "It's only a little numb."

"I'm not surprised," Morgana looked carefully at the cut once it was free from the bindings. She carefully brushed her fingers over the cut. Douxie couldn't help but flinch. It tickled. "Sleeping potions weren't meant to be exposed directly to blood. It's no wonder you're dealing with some ill side-effects."

Douxie grimaced and looked to the side. "Yeah, I really messed up."

"You?" Morgana tore her gaze away from the healing wound to look at Douxie in shock. "From what Merlin told me, you're not the one at fault here."

"But it was my magic that made Merlin lose control of his spell." Douxie said almost desperately. He was sure that the reason why Merlin wasn't teaching him was because he didn't think he was ready, because of how he'd blundered up such a simple spell. Douxie was so sure that Merlin blamed him, so it took him a long moment to process exactly what Morgana had said. "Wait, Merlin said that?"

Morgana's eyes softened. "He made it very clear to me that he blames himself. I shouldn't be surprised that he didn't make the same thing clear to you, but somehow I am." Morgana took both of Douxie's hands in her own and gave them a small squeeze. "Have you really been blaming yourself all this time?"

"Well, of course I have," Douxie said. A part of him desperately wanted to believe Morgana's reassurances, but it was difficult. Merlin was a Master Wizard. How could he be the one at fault here? "If it wasn't my fault, then why has Merlin been avoiding teaching me magic?"

Morgana looked shocked, but a moment later a dark look came into her eyes. "He hasn't taught you anything since the accident?"

"He hasn't even let me practice," Douxie said, his frustration and desperation about the situation slipping into his tone.

Morgana scowled with a huff. "That man," She shook her head. "Merlin's the one who is so insistent that unfinished magic is dangerous, and yet he's left your training incomplete. He's lucky that you haven't run off to try to teach yourself magic."

"Actually," Douxie gave her a shy smile. "That's what I came here for. I was hoping you would be willing to teach me a few things."

"You want to learn magic from me?" Morgana asked. She looked surprised, but also a little pleased with herself.

"You're the only other witch we know." Archie said. Douxie frowned at his familiar. It was the truth, but there was no need to tell that to Morgana. Douxie didn't want to make his friend feel like he was only there because he thought he had no other choice.

"Your magic is so different from Merlin's," Douxie said. "I've been wanting to give it a try for awhile now, but with Merlin not teaching me, I figure this is as good a time as any."

"I'd be happy to help you," Morgana said. "I have to warn you though, Merlin may not approve. He's never been a big fan of my preferred style of magic."

"I end up disappointing Merlin when I'm not even trying to," Douxie said. "I might as well accomplish something while letting him down." He meant to be casual about it, because he was so tired of trying so hard only to end up messing up in his master's eyes anyways. However, Douxie cared a lot more than he wanted to. He thought that Merlin was the greatest wizard in the world, and he sought his approval. Despite Douxie's best effort, his tone betrayed just how much he still cared.

Morgana gave him a small smile. "If you're sure, why don't we get started?" Morgana stood up and pulled Douxie to his feet.

"What, right now?" Douxie frowned slightly.

"The thing about shadow magic, or shadowmancy, is that it's easiest at night." Morgana said. "For a beginner like you, there's no better time to start."

"Well, you're the Master Wizard here," Douxie said reluctantly, though he couldn't help but be a little excited. He was finally going to learn some more magic, and not just that, but a type of magic that he'd never tried before. Maybe this would come easier to him.

"What has Merlin told you about shadowmancy?" Morgana asked.

"Nothing," Douxie admitted. He'd heard around the streets from terrified people that shadow magic was dark and evil, that it only brought trouble and involved working with demons and devils. However, Douxie had learned to not listen to everything that non-wizards had to say about magic. He may not know a lot about shadowmancy, but he knew Morgana, and if there was one thing he was confident about when it came to her, it was that she was not evil.

"The concept is actually quite simple," Morgana said. She led Douxie to the middle of the room. She left him standing there as she went to the fireplace. With a wave of her hand the fire flared up before suddenly going out. Not even an ember remained as the room was thrown into darkness.

"Do you know why many people are afraid of the dark?" Morgana asked. Her voice seemed to come from everywhere. Douxie moved his head, hoping to see even the smallest sign of light, but there was nothing. It was a little unnerving, but he wasn't afraid.

"Because they can't see what might be out there for them." Douxie said. When he'd been very young, when he'd first left the village of his father and grandfather, he'd been terrified of the dark. He'd had many sleepless nights because he'd been too terrified of what was out there. It was only after Douxie had met Archie, who had dragged him off to midnight hunts, did he realize that maybe the scary creatures he'd been imagining weren't actually out to get him. If a dragon could become his best friend, then maybe a woodland sprite could be friendly too.

"Most people are afraid of the unknown," Morgana said. "That's why shadow magic is so feared. It takes the shadows that are so mysterious that they can hide anything, and it makes those possible uncertainties a reality." Douxie shuddered as he felt a chill. He recognized Morgana's magic. A moment later Morgana took his hand and carefully slid something into his grip. Douxie felt it for a moment before he realized what he was holding.

"A dagger," Douxie was in slight awe. He could feel the dark magic radiating from it. He could tell that Morgana had summoned it from the shadows. Morgana put her hand on the dagger handle and Douxie let her take it back.

"Merlin tells me that your magic comes best when it's instinctive," Morgana said. "This may come to your advantage. Shadowmancy isn't exactly something that can be easily learned or taught. It's just something that you do, that you feel."

"What is it supposed to feel like?" Douxie asked.

"Are you familiar with that feeling in your chest when you think about the things that you can't control?" Morgana asked. Douxie flinched ever so slightly. Archie nudged him in an attempt to offer comfort.

"I try to avoid that feeling, but yes, I know it." Douxie said quietly. It was the feeling of being completely helpless. His body and mind seemed to fight with each other, and he couldn't do or say anything. Half the time it felt like he couldn't even breath.

"Shadowmancy is taking complete control of that feeling." Morgana said. "It's like taming a wild horse. You're not changing the nature of it, you're just showing it who is in charge."

"I don't know if I can do that." Douxie admitted. If his panicked mind was a wild horse, Douxie would probably be run over by it.

"You're much stronger than you think you are." Morgana said with complete confidence. "Feel the darkness that surrounds you, embrace it, and get a strong grip on it. See if you can pull out my dagger." There was another surge of magic as Morgana returned her blade to the shadows.

Douxie shivered, and this time it had nothing to do with the chill that Morgana's magic brought with her. It was a nice thought, to reclaim control of the moments when he felt in so little control, but that meant inviting the feeling in the first place, and that terrified him. Still, he'd come this far, and he wasn't about to turn around now.

Douxie took a deep breath and reached for his magic. While he had learned a few years ago to not worry so much about what was hiding in the shadows, he let his imagination loose now. He couldn't exactly pull anything out of the darkness if he knew that there was nothing there.

Creatures, weapons, secrets that people were too afraid to share, Douxie could almost feel the presence of it all around him. It wasn't frightening, exactly, but it was overwhelming. There was so much information, and Douxie wasn't entirely sure what he should reach for first. He hesitated for just a second too long and allowed his anxiety to get the best of him. Now that he'd allowed himself to think about what could be hiding in the shadows, he thought that maybe there was a reason they were hidden away. They could easily be too dangerous to mess around with.

Douxie gasped and pushed his magic out, instead of bringing it in. The room was suddenly illuminated with a bright blue light, banishing the darkness and shadow magic. The fire lit itself back up, flaring up a bright blue before returning to a more natural red color. It was burning so strongly that anybody who entered the room wouldn't even know that the fire had been out in the first place.

Morgana looked at the sudden light in surprise before looking at Douxie. "Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind."

"Sorry, it just came out," Douxie said somewhat anxiously. The darkness may be gone from the room, but he felt like it still surrounded him. It was as though the shadows had seeped just under his skin, not quite into his core, but definitely deep enough to be noticeable and make him antsy.

"You have nothing to fear from the shadows." Morgana said.

"I'm not afraid," Douxie said honestly. He didn't completely agree with her words. Just because he himself wasn't afraid didn't mean that danger didn't lie hidden in the darkness. That was like Douxie saying that nobody had anything to fear from dragons just because Archie was his friend. "It just...it feels wrong."

"Shadowmancy takes a lot of practice," Morgana said. Douxie knew that, it was nothing less than he'd expected, but the thought of giving it another try terrified him. Morgana must have seen the hesitation in his eyes. "Of course, shadow magic isn't for everybody."

"I don't think there's any problem with shadowmancy itself," Douxie said quickly. He didn't want Morgana to think that he hated her practice of magic. "I just don't think it's for me."

"I could try to teach you something else," Morgana said.

"I appreciate the offer, but I should probably get back to the tower," Douxie said. He didn't want Merlin to notice that he was gone. Besides, being in this room made him feel crowded and terrified, and it wouldn't be fair of him to ask Morgana to leave her room at this hour, especially when she was wearing nothing but her chemise. "Maybe later?"

"Any time you like," Morgana gave him a small smile. Douxie nodded at her in gratitude, gathered Archie up in his arms, and left the room. The castle was dark. At this time of night, not even the torches in the hallways were lit. Douxie was familiar enough with the castle at this point that he could probably navigate his way back to the tower in the dark, but he wasn't comfortable enough to do that. He waved his hand and brought up a flame. Douxie knew that Arthur had forbidden him from using magic unsupervised, but Douxie thought this was a small enough offence that what trouble he might get into was worth it.

A few minutes later Douxie slowly opened the door to the workshop. He glanced around somewhat nervously and relaxed when he didn't immediately see Merlin. Maybe he could get to his room without his master even knowing that he was gone in the first place. Douxie was halfway across the room when a large candle near the window suddenly lit up. Douxie froze where he stood. He knew that he hadn't been responsible for that candle, and the only other wizard that could be up here was his master.

"Hisirdoux, where have you been?" Merlin stepped into the light. He didn't exactly look angry, but he definitely wasn't impressed.

"I…" Douxie hesitated for just a moment. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. Archie tried to come to his rescue.

"He was at the tavern." Archie said easily. His tone was casual enough that most people would probably believe him, but Douxie and Merlin stared at the cat like he was crazy. Of all the excuses that Archie could come up with he chose the one thing that Merlin would never believe.

"The tavern?" Merlin crossed his arms and gave Douxie an unimpressed look. "I've never seen you show so much as an interest in the kinds of drinks they have at the tavern." Douxie enjoyed the occasional fruit wine, but the taste of ale and mead made him gag and he didn't like the way that they made him feel. However, he knew that it wasn't because of the alcohol that Merlin had such a difficult time believing this lie.

"Am I to understand that you would willingly go anywhere near the tavern, even though that is where many of the nights spend their free time?" Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Especially Galahad?" There it was.

"Alright, I wasn't actually in the tavern." Douxie hunched his shoulders slightly. He might have been able to come up with a believable lie, but now that Merlin had already caught them in a lie he wouldn't accept anything less than the truth. "I was with Morgana."

"At this hour?" Merlin looked surprised, but he seemed to believe Douxie's words. He must know that Douxie would know better than to lie about something that could so easily be disproven. "What in the world for?"

Douxie sighed. He didn't want his master to be disappointed with him, but he was too tired to try to talk his way out of this. "I was asking if she would teach me magic."

Merlin frowned in confusion. "I didn't know you were interested in shadowmancy."

"I wasn't," Douxie said. He could still feel the shadow magic under his skin. "I'm still not."

"So why would you go to Morgana?" Merlin asked.

Douxie scowled ever so slightly. Why did Merlin sound so surprised? "I didn't have any other choice. You won't teach me."

A strange look came to Merlin's eyes. Douxie would think that it was regret, except Merlin frequently said that magicians didn't make mistakes.

"It's not that I won't teach you," Merlin said. He held up a hand before Douxie could protest, because that was exactly what he had done. "I'm just not entirely sure how to go about doing it, and trying to teach you when I don't know exactly what I'm doing, well…" Merlin's gaze wandered to Douxie's hand, and this time he was sure that it was regret that he was seeing. "It could have disastrous consequences." Merlin stepped closer to Douxie and took his hand so he could examine the wound better. He looked at it for a long moment before he nodded and let Douxie's hand drop. Merlin didn't mention anything about binding the wound again, so he must have decided that it had healed enough to be left unbound.

"Then why can't Douxie at least practice magic at all?" Archie glared at Merlin. The familiar wasn't going to let Merlin get away with any of his excuses. "Morgana said you don't blame Douxie for what happened, but you're definitely acting like you are."

"What? Of course I don't blame you." Merlin looked almost insulted at the suggestion. A moment later his gaze softened. "I suppose I haven't done very well at showing that." Merlin sighed, looking as tired as Douxie felt. "I'm still not sure how to go about teaching you. The way your magic shows itself, and the way you use it, it's unlike what I've ever worked with."

Douxie grimaced ever so slightly. Merlin must have worked with all kinds of skilled magicians during his career. They all must have been much more skilled and capable than Douxie was. "I'm really not very good at magic."

"You're still young and learning." Merlin said. "I wasn't much better when I was your age."

"But I couldn't even do the easiest summon spell using shadowmancy." Douxie said. Morgana had made it look and sound so easy, but he hadn't been able to do it at all. He may have only tried once, but Douxie didn't think that practice would have made it any better.

"Well, of course you couldn't." Merlin looked shocked at the thought of Douxie using shadow magic. "It's not in your nature. I could have told you that."

"But how can you tell?" Douxie asked. He knew that Morgana said that shadowmancy wasn't for everybody, but could Merlin really know just by looking at Douxie that he wouldn't be able to do it?

"Do you know what a big part of shadowmancy is?" Merlin asked, using that superior tone of his that suggested that he knew that Douxie didn't know the answer, and he was happy to teach him.

"Morgana said it was bringing the things hiding in the shadows out." Douxie said. "It's working with the unknown."

"Well, she's not wrong." Merlin said. "However, do you know what the biggest uncertainty about life is? The one unknown that most people fear above anything else?" Merlin didn't give Douxie the chance to even think about it. "Death."

"But I thought that shadowmancy wasn't inherently evil." Douxie said.

"Neither is death," Merlin pointed out. "It's frightening and sad, and completely unavoidable, but not evil. It's just inevitable, even for those who have magic. Do you remember what I told you about magic?" Merlin had told him a lot of things about magic. Douxie had no idea which he was talking about. "It's mastery over life. Shadow magic is the one exception. It's mastery over the unknown, which makes it a mastery over death, though not in the way that many people may hope for."

Merlin put his hand on Douxie's shoulders. "I have never met anybody, wizard or non-magical, who values life as much as you do. You have such a bright inner light. I'm not surprised that magic influenced by death and shadows doesn't come naturally to you."

"So...it's not because my magic wasn't strong enough?" Douxie asked, just to be sure.

"Your magic is plenty strong." Merlin said. "It's just far lighter than Morgana's magic, or even mine is." Merlin's hands fell from Douxie's shoulder. "Perhaps that's why it's so difficult for me to know how to teach you."

"But you will still teach me, right?" Douxie asked eagerly. He didn't want his master to give up on him.

"Of course," Merlin said. "But not tonight. It's late, and I'm going to need your help first thing in the morning. We need to find some dew bugs."

"Yes, Master," Douxie gave Merlin a very small smile. He hadn't gotten in trouble, and Merlin was going to be teaching him more magic. Douxie didn't think that his master was even disappointed in him. This was a better result than Douxie could have hoped for. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Hisirdoux," Merlin said in a surprisingly gentle tone. Douxie went into his quarters and set Archie on the bed. His familiar yawned and arched his back before lying down in the middle of the bed. Douxie had long since learned that Archie didn't like to be moved after he'd made himself comfortable, so he laid down awkwardly around him. Douxie smiled when Archie snuggled up against his chest.

He could still feel the lingering darkness in him, just strong enough to be noticeable. Still, even with the slight unease and anxiety, Douxie was more at peace and content than he'd been in two weeks. It took just a few minutes for Douxie to fall into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the show, Douxie tells Claire that he never really took to shadow magic, implying that he'd at least tried it. I doubt that Merlin would have been the one to teach him, so Morgana must have been the one to show him.
> 
> I felt like I had to come up with a proper explanation as to why Douxie couldn't do shadowmancy when magic in this universe seems to be something that anybody can be capable of, but especially for wizards.
> 
> Also, the way that I'm writing Merlin and Morgana I feel like they're acting like divorced parents who just can't agree on the way they should raise their kid.


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin had to deal with a lot of responsibilities as Arthur's court magician. It was up to him to keep the kingdom safe, and to serve his king and friend. Every day seemed to come with its new challenges, and it was absolutely exhausting, but it was work, and he was lucky to have these opportunities that most magicians could never dream of.

However, that didn't mean that Merlin went looking for trouble, or hoping for something new to be thrown his way because he wanted some excitement. He would give anything to have a quiet day every once and awhile. Where he could rest for more than five minutes without having to worry about trolls invading the kingdom, Hisirdoux getting himself into trouble, or Arthur and Morgana fighting.

Merlin had thought that he'd found one such day. Arthur was in a private meeting with visiting nobles, and he'd insisted multiple times that he wouldn't need Merlin's assistance that day. He hadn't heard any rumors about magical creatures or threats of wizards in Camelot, so he didn't think the kingdom was in immediate danger. Merlin didn't even have to worry about Hisirdoux, because Morgana had said that she wanted to watch the boy for the day. She didn't want Hisirdoux to feel uncomfortable around her just because he couldn't do shadowmancy.

Merlin thought that Morgana was a bit of a bad influence on Hisirdoux, but he still encouraged them to spend time with each other. His apprentice needed a friend other than his familiar, and Merlin hoped that if Hisirdoux had more people who could watch him, Merlin could afford to take his eyes off of him.

He should have known better. While Hisirdoux had a tendency to be found by trouble, Morgana was one who went looking for it. Merlin should have expected that if the two of them were spending time with each other, there would be trouble sooner rather than later. He should have known that his nice, quiet day wouldn't last for more than a few hours. And yet, somehow, Merlin was still surprised when a young servant came running into his tower, a panicked look in his eyes.

"Master Merlin, we're under attack!" The servant said frantically.

"An attack?" Merlin raised an eyebrow. He'd been up here in his tower, studying quietly, and he hadn't heard or sensed anything like an attack. There were no knights in the halls, no magical pleas for help from either Morgana or Hisirdoux, and one look outside showed that the day was calm. It certainly didn't look like there was a threat nearby. "What kind of attack?"

"There's a magical beast running around the castle." The servant looked close to tears. Merlin waved his staff with a calming spell, otherwise he may not get very much information from the servant. The lad took a slow, deep breath. "We-we don't know where it came from, and none of the knights' attacks are doing anything."

Well, that didn't sound very good. Still, Merlin wasn't going to jump to conclusions. If the beast was indeed a threat, they had to find a new way to defeat it. However, if the beast was harmless it didn't matter if the monster couldn't be harmed, because it wasn't there for a fight.

"Alright, I'm coming," Merlin gestured for the servant to lead the way. The boy looked terrified, but if Merlin tried to find the beast on his own, he may waste precious time. It was better that one servant boy be scared than for everybody in the kingdom to be in danger.

Merlin was led to the halls near Morgana's bedchambers. Merlin saw a dozen different knights crowding the halls, making it hard to push his way to the front, but Merlin couldn't exactly blame them. A beast anywhere in the castle could be a threat, but especially if the beast was anywhere near the nobles, especially Arthur or Morgana.

The servant had fled, but Merlin could already see the outline of a large creature. He didn't need a guide anymore. Merlin took a deep breath and raised his staff. He pushed back the knights that were still blocking him so he could get a proper look at the creature, and it was unlike any beast he had ever seen.

The creature was the size of a massive cat, larger than any wildcat that Merlin had ever seen. The size and color reminded him of pictures he had seen of beasts called lions, except this creature was far more than that. Merlin may have never seen a lion for himself, but he was fairly confident that they didn't have faces that resembled bears' or large wings.

As odd as the creature looked, the thing that bothered Merlin most about it was its aura. There was definitely an air of magic around the beast, but it was a magical aura that Merlin was incredibly familiar with. When he took a close look at the beast he saw the occasional pale blue flicker that he was all too familiar with.

Merlin frowned and lowered his staff. It was no wonder the knights hadn't been able to manage to harm the creature. One couldn't exactly harm an illusion. Merlin could use his own magic to dispel Hisirdoux' magic, but he didn't dare to. Magic was an extension of a magician. It could be dangerous for a caster if their spell was broken suddenly. Merlin may not be happy with Hisirdoux, but he didn't want to harm his young apprentice.

Merlin ignored the knights and stepped towards the beast. It didn't try to attack him, or even acknowledge him in any way. The creature was minding its own business, as Merlin knew that it would. He approached the beast without fear and stepped right through it. The knights were shocked and slightly panicked, but they weren't the ones he was focusing on right now.

Merlin went to the door to Morgana's bedchambers and knocked harshly on the door. He could hear a lute and some muffled singing inside. It seemed that Hisirdoux was playing with that instrument of his. This shouldn't irritate Merlin, but it did. What was Hisirdoux doing, to carelessly play music and leave an illusion unattended?

Merlin didn't wait for Morgana to open the door. He let himself into the room, closing the door behind him and sealing it closed with his magic. He was here to have a private conversation with Hisirdoux, and he didn't want to be interrupted.

Now that he was inside the room Merlin could actually hear the words of Hisirdoux' song. He was stumbling and stammering slightly, holding some words out for a needlessly long time or rushing through them as quickly as he could. It sounded as though Hisirdoux' little song was one that he was making up on the spot.

Hisirdoux seemed to be singing of a cheerful, yet monstrous creature, a beast that he described as having the body of a lion, wings of an eagle, and face of a bear, much like the illusion outside the room. Morgana and Archie were both laughing at Hisirdoux' lyrics, occasionally making ridiculous suggestions of their own, which made Hisirdoux laugh himself before he incorporated them into his song. It was a foolish, fun game.

Any other day, Merlin would be amused by this, much like Morgana currently was. Even when he was clearly improvising, the boy was a surprisingly skilled musician. He had a lot of passion and very little shame, which Merlin had come to realize were good traits for any kind of performer. However, Merlin suspected it was because of that very passion that the castle was in such a panic at the moment, so no, he wasn't impressed or amused.

"Hisirdoux!" Merlin snapped. Hisirdoux cut himself off immediately and his hands slipped on the lute, making an ugly sounding chord. The magical energy that had been coming off of Hisirdoux while he'd been playing his music suddenly disappeared. Merlin didn't have to open the door to know that the illusion had disappeared. That was one problem taken care of, but now he had to make sure that nothing like this happened again.

"Master," Hisirdoux grinned at him. He didn't seem at all bothered by the unimpressed glare that Merlin gave him. "I didn't notice you there. Did you need some help reading those old books of yours after all?" The boy's question was genuine, but Merlin crossed his arms at the teasing, somewhat flippant tone. He had come to talk to Hisirdoux about controlling his magic, not to be disrespected.

Merlin scowled and grabbed Hisirdoux' lute, snatching it harshly from him. Archie hissed and arched his back, Morgana crossed her arms at Merlin, and Hisirdoux seemed to realize that Merlin was unhappy with him. The boy lurched forward, as though to take his lute back, but he restrained himself.

"Master?" Hisirdoux looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes, which just irritated Merlin more. The boy hadn't realized that he'd lost control of his magic at all, and that just wouldn't do. Any decent magician had full control of their powers, or at least recognized when they cast a spell unintentionally.

Deep down Merlin knew that this wasn't the boy's fault. He was still learning, and Merlin really shouldn't fault him for lacking control, but the bit of magic that had happened outside had been a powerful illusion, and it had lasted for at least a few minutes. All accidental magic could be dangerous, but especially something like this. Did Hisirdoux not realize the danger he would be in if Arthur got word of what had happened today? Nothing that Merlin could say would be able to convince the king that Hisirdoux had no malicious intentions, or that he had enough control of his magic to not be a threat.

"Do you have any idea of what you've done?" Merlin asked sharply. Hisirdoux flinched ever so slightly, and Merlin felt a twinge of guilt. He wasn't trying to scare the boy, but he was scared for him. They were incredibly lucky today, and Merlin doubted their luck would hold out. If Hisirdoux used accidental magic like this again, Merlin thought that they would be lucky if the boy was only banished from the kingdom.

"I haven't done anything!" Hisirdoux said desperately. He looked slightly panicked.

"He's been in here with me for hours," Morgana said coldly. "We haven't done any magic."

"Then do you care to tell me why there was an illusion of a lion, bear, winged beast hybrid roaming the halls, terrifying the knights and causing a panic?" Merlin asked.

"What?" Hisirdoux paled slightly. "I...I didn't try to-"

"It doesn't matter," Merlin said sharply. "You're fortunate that an illusion was all that you conjurred. What would you have done if the creature was real?" Merlin narrowed his eyes at Hisirdoux, who shrunk under his gaze. Merlin knew he should back down and calm himself, but he couldn't bring himself to. Hisirdoux had to learn. "What if you were singing about a fire burning down the castle, or Camelot under attack. What if you had suggested that the king had died?"

"I-I wouldn't…" Hisirdoux' eyes were wide and dilated. He looked like he was shivering. Hisirdoux was hunching his shoulders slightly. Was he cold?

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin," Morgana stepped in front of Hisirdoux in a way that was almost protective, though Merlin didn't know what she thought she was protecting him from. Merlin wasn't about to hurt the boy. "Douxie was just having fun. So what if he happened to use accidental magic? It happens to the best of us."

"Well, it can't." Merlin said. They couldn't afford to let this happen again, it was too dangerous, for the inhabitants of the castle, and for Hisirdoux himself.

"You can't keep him from using accidental magic." Morgana crossed her arms. "You can't even keep yourself from letting magic slip through your oh so perfect control."

"Perhaps not," Merlin looked at the lute in his hands. The very thing about this kind of magic was that it couldn't be helped. However, there were precautions that could be made. Merlin suspected that the illusion had appeared because Hisirdoux had gotten careless while he'd been singing. Magic was manifested through will-power and passion. Someone couldn't become a great magician if they didn't truly care about their magic, no matter how much they were forced to practice.

Hisirdoux' little illusion spell had latched onto the boy's passion for his music, and fed off of it. That was why the illusion had been so powerful, because his passion was strong. Merlin didn't want to kill Hisirdoux' passion, as he believed it to be one of the boy's strongest traits, but they couldn't afford to let something like this happen again. As long as Hisirdoux was still learning magic, it was too risky to allow him to continue to feed his passions. Merlin had to nip this in the bud before something truly unfortunate happened.

Merlin tightened his grip on the lute. He looked Hisirdoux in the eyes, his gaze apologetic, but firm. "I'm sorry about this, but I have no choice. I cannot allow a repeat of this incident." Merlin's staff began to glow as he brought up a spell that he hadn't used in a long time, a spell that was much more Morgana's style. A spell of destruction.

Hisirdoux' breath got caught in his throat and he stared at Merlin in panic as he realized too late what Merlin was about to do. "Master, pl-" Merlin cast his spell before Hisirdoux could finish his desperate plea. In a moment the lute in his hands shattered and splintered like a mirror. Hisirdoux froze and stared in horror at Merlin's empty hand. He looked more terrified than his life had been threatened by Galahad and the other knights.

Merlin sighed and reached out towards Hisirdoux, but the boy flinched and scrambled back from him so frantically that he ended up falling off the bed. Merlin moved to help Hisirdoux up, but Archie jumped in the way and bit his hand. Hisirdoux took this opportunity to rush to his feet and rush to the door. Merlin had used his power to seal the door closed, but Hisirdoux' out of control emotions manifested into magic and knocked the door open so harshly that it was nearly knocked off its hinges. Archie flew after him. Merlin went to follow them, but Morgana grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"What was that?" Morgana hissed.

"I did what was necessary," Merlin said shakily. He didn't regret what he had done. He had to keep Hisirdoux safe, even at the cost of his happiness. Merlin felt horrible, but his personal feelings were irrelevant. If taking Hisirdoux' lute, his method of expressing his passion, away from him was the only way to keep him safe from himself, then so be it.

"Necessary?" Morgana's eyes flashed dangerously and the flames in the fireplace flickered as though a strong breeze had gone through the room. "You just broke that boy's heart."

"Better that than for him to be dead," Merlin said loudly. His staff glowed a vibrant green as he just barely contained his own powers.

"Dead?" Morgana's look of fury turned to one of confusion and concern. "What do you mean?"

Merlin looked sternly at Morgana. "What do you think your brother would do if he learned about this incident? Would he accept the excuse that this was just an accident?"

Morgana took a deep breath and glared to the side. Merlin could feel the fury coming off of her. "No, he wouldn't."

"I am trying my best to keep this boy safe," Merlin said.

"Well, perhaps your best isn't what's best for him." Morgana glared at Merlin and gestured to the door. She considered their conversation to be finished, and Merlin didn't have the energy to continue to make excuses to her. He had the feeling that this was just one of those instances where he and Morgana wouldn't be able to agree, and it was a waste of time to try.

Merlin left the room, waving his staff to put the door back where it belonged. He was relieved to find the hallways were near empty. He had known that the illusion had disappeared once Hisirdoux had stopped singing that song of his, but Merlin was glad that most of the knights were gone as well. Hopefully once the creature had vanished, the knights had believed that the threat was gone.

The only person in the hall still was Galahad. The knight raised an eyebrow at him when he saw him. "You've dealt with the monster?"

"If by monster you mean my young apprentice letting his magic get the better of him, then yes, I dealt with it." Merlin sighed. He felt more exhausted than he would be if he had spent all day protecting the kingdom from real threats.

"Ah, I was wondering why the lad ran off so quick," Galahad said. "That beast of his looked ready to set the castle ablaze.

"Dragons do have a tendency to get violent when they're protective." Merlin said. He was having a difficult enough time with Hisirdoux, but now he should probably start worrying about what Archie would do if he hurt the boy further.

"I don't envy you having to deal with those two." Galahad shook his head. "It gives me a headache just watching what they get up to."

Merlin wanted to say that they weren't all that bad, but he himself had a bit of a headache and his stomach was twisting in knots at the thought of what could have happened if Hisirdoux' accidental magic had gone just a hair too far.

Galahad gave him a sympathetic look. "Why don't you join me for a pint of mead? You look like you could use a drink."

"Perhaps I will." Merlin wasn't as fond of drinking as Galahad was, though, to be fair, he didn't know anybody who was. However, the thought of having a few drinks and pushing back his guilt and fears sounded very appealing.

Merlin knew that he would have to talk to Hisirdoux sooner or later, but he thought it would be best for both of them if he gave the boy some time to calm down. Once Hisirdoux was ready to hear what he had to say, Archie was ready to not attack Merlin the second he saw him, and Merlin could properly explain his reasoning in a way that the boy would understand, then they would talk. Until then, Merlin would much rather forget, just for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat shorter chapter, but the next one should be longer than average, so things even out. The next few chapters are going to be direct continuations of this one.
> 
> Writing from Merlin's point of view isn't as easy as it is to write about Douxie, but this particular chapter had to be from Merlin's perspective, otherwise he would just come off as way too cruel.


	8. Chapter 8

Douxie wrapped his arms around himself as he walked. The night was chilly, but he barely noticed it. His chest hurt, his head was pounding, and he felt like it was all he could do to just breath. He cringed back from the few people that he passed in the streets and tightened his hold around himself. He did his best to push down every overwhelming feeling and thought, but that just made him feel even worse. He didn't want to repress his emotions, but he knew that while sometimes when he was upset he couldn't use his magic at all, other times it just came out because he wasn't focused enough to control it, and that was the last thing he wanted to happen. He was already in trouble with his Master, and he didn't want to make things even worse.

Douxie knew that he probably shouldn't be in the village and around other people when he wasn't positive that he could keep control. However, he really couldn't be in the castle right now. He had caused enough trouble in the castle for one night. The only place he would feel secure was in the tower, but that was the worst possible place he could be. Merlin would return to his tower sooner or later, if he wasn't up there right now, and Douxie didn't think he could handle being anywhere near his Master.

Archie dug his claws slightly into Douxie's shoulder and he gasped. "Breath, Douxie,"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Douxie asked. Archie withdrew his claws and nuzzled Douxie's head.

"Overthinking everything and trying too hard to please a man who probably doesn't care about you." Archie said irritably. Even though Douxie had been specifically told to breathe, and it was something he'd been trying to do regularly for a while now, he felt his breath get caught in his throat Douxie stopped in his tracks.

"D-doesn't care." Douxie knew that wasn't right, he really did, but the words were ringing in his head and it suddenly felt impossible to remember anything that Merlin had done to show him that he cared about him. All Douxie could think of was all the times when he had disappointed Merlin. It hadn't felt that overwhelming before, but now Douxie felt like it was a common, almost frequent, occurrence.

Archie stiffened and crouched low on Douxie's shoulders. He could feel his familiar purring anxiously. "Douxie, breathe!"

Douxie quickly shook his head. He hadn't even realized that he was holding his breath, but he couldn't seem to force his air out. "I-I can't." Archie hopped off his shoulder and flew into the air just in front of Douxie. Archie dug his teeth into Douxie's tunic and pulled him down towards the ground. Douxie felt a little self-conscious just sitting in the middle of the road, but he didn't have the energy to fight against Archie's guidance, and as soon as Douxie was sitting on the ground he didn't think he'd be able to stand up.

Douxie started to lean forward and hunch in on himself, but Archie nudged his chest hard enough to knock the air out of him and make him straighten. Once Douxie let a breath out he couldn't keep it in. Douxie started breathing fast and short, losing more air than he was bringing in.

Archie sighed and settled himself on Douxie's lap, nudging his hands until Douxie instinctively started to pet him. His strokes were probably quicker and harsher than Archie would normally like, but the familiar didn't complain. Archie just sat there patiently for several minutes and waited as Douxie calmed down. Eventually the young wizard was calm enough that he was no longer hyperventilating. His breathing was far from normal, but he no longer felt like he was going to faint.

Archie gave his hand a small, rough lick. "I'm sorry, I was out of line."

"I-It's fine," Douxie said roughly. Archie shook his head.

"No, it's not," Archie said firmly.

"But you were right." Douxie said. He hated the way his voice cracked.

"No, I wasn't," Archie scowled. "As frustrating as Merlin can be, he does care about you. Why else would he be trying so hard to help you learn magic?"

"Because he doesn't want an untrained wizard wandering around?" Douxie suggested.

"You know that Arthur has his own ways of dealing with wizards in the kingdom," Archie growled, and Douxie thought he heard the fire in the back of his throat. Douxie shrunk back slightly.

"Yeah, I know." Douxie himself had almost been killed by the knights because he had magic. He knew that his people faced persecution. Douxie didn't want to get his hopes up, but he began to believe what his familiar was saying.

Archie nuzzled close to Douxie, but suddenly he froze and quickly looked towards one of the buildings. Archie was tense and his ears twitched. He seemed to be listening to something. A moment later Archie's ears flattened and he looked a little anxious. The familiar got off of Douxie's lap and began to pull on his tunic again to try to get him moving. Douxie frowned, confused, but he didn't stop to ask questions. Archie wouldn't get nervous about just anything. If the dragon thought it was time to go somewhere else, Douxie would follow him.

Douxie scrambled to his feet, stumbling a little bit. His breathing was still far too rapid and his chest hurt a bit, but he followed Archie behind a closed and abandoned fruit stand. Douxie crouched behind the crates and boxes as Archie crept forward to keep an eye on the street. Douxie moved to see for himself, but Archie hissed at him, warning him to keep back.

A long moment passed before Douxie heard a door open harshly. From the sudden noise and overwhelming smells Douxie knew that it was the tavern. Since the door slamming wasn't accompanied by shouting or crying, he thought it was safe to assume that someone was just a little too intoxicated and got reckless. It wasn't someone angry and dangerous. Douxie relaxed slightly, but Archie stiffened even more.

"What that boy needs is discipline." A man said, and Douxie barely stifled a gasp when he heard it. He recognized Galahad's voice. Was that why Archie had made him hide? "You spoil him." For some reason these words seemed to irritate Archie. The cat growled and arched his back. "Nothing motivates young squires like the fear of what will happen if they fail."

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, Hisirdoux isn't a squire," Merlin said, and this time Douxie wasn't able to hold back his gasp of shock and slight horror. What in the world was Merlin doing here? Douxie had never known him to drink, and yet by the slight slur in Merlin's voice Douxie knew that he was more than just a little drunk.

Douxie hunched his shoulders and tried to make himself smaller. He was still breathing quickly and harshly, but he felt like he couldn't breath. Had...had Merlin been drinking because of _him_? Had he really messed up so badly?

Archie gave him a concerned look, but Douxie was too focused listening to what Merlin was saying.

"I've tried being strict with him, but it just pushed him away. I've tried to be patient and understanding, but he still doesn't trust or listen to me." Merlin said. Douxie flinched harshly. Archie walked over to him and nudged his hand. Douxie wrapped his arms around Archie and held him close. Why was his Master talking about him with Galahad of all people?

It sounded like somebody stumbled and then Galahad grunted. "Easy there, sorcerer." Galahad actually sounded concerned and the closest that Douxie had ever heard to him being sober. It was a little frightening. "I don't think our king will be very happy with me if I let something happen to you."

"I just don't know what to do with this boy." Merlin said tiredly. He didn't acknowledge Galahad's words at all. Douxie wondered if he even understood them. "Morgana may be right. I may not be the best teacher for Hisirdoux, and trying to balance being the royal sorcerer and a good teacher is exhausting." Merlin sighed. His next words were so quiet that Douxie almost missed them. "Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn't taken him on as an apprentice at all."

Douxie shivered as his veins seemed to turn cold. His ears were ringing. He stared with wide eyes in front of him without really seeing anything. He tightened his grip on Archie and folded in on his familiar. Had his accidental magic been so bad that Merlin was regretting bringing him in, or was it just the last straw that broke the camel's back? Had all of Douxie's mistakes just been building up, and Merlin no longer had the patience for him anymore?

Douxie whimpered and clutched at Archie's fur. He could hear his familiar talking to him, but he couldn't understand a word that he was saying. Archie was shifting around a lot, but Douxie didn't loosen his grip. He didn't know if Archie wanted to attack and yell at Merlin, or if he wanted to calm Douxie, but it didn't matter. Douxie didn't feel like he was physically capable of moving from this position, and at the moment Archie was part of that position.

Douxie was hurt and really scared. As far as he knew, the reason why Merlin had saved his life was because he needed a new apprentice, an extra set of hands to help out around the tower, and Douxie had been convenient and available. If Merlin thought that he shouldn't have taken Douxie on as an apprentice, what did that say about saving him in the first place?

"-xie. Come on, Douxie, come back to me." Archie began to paw at Douxie's legs. Douxie blinked several times before he slowly moved his gaze to meet his familiar's eyes. Archie relaxed slightly, but he still looked worried. "Are you okay?"

"Why did he say that to Galahad?" Douxie said quietly. Rationally he knew that Merlin wasn't going to conspire to get him killed, but why would he be talking to Galahad, the knight that Douxie was wary of, about this? _Why?_

Archie hissed. "Because Merlin's an old fool who doesn't understand emotions."

"I-I can't stay here." Douxie said. He finally let go of Archie, and his familiar climbed onto his shoulder.

"That's fine," Archie said gently. "We can go back to the tower and-"

"No," Douxie said firmly. He pulled himself to his feet. "I mean I can't stay _here_." If Merlin didn't want him as his apprentice, Douxie didn't want to wait around to be told. He wouldn't be able to handle it, and he didn't want to freak out in front of his master. Especially if Merlin wasn't going to be his master for much longer.

"Oh," Archie's ears perked up. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not sure of anything," Douxie laughed brokenly. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"Hey, if you want to leave, we can leave." Archie said. "That's why we've been collecting ingredients and food." Archie nudged his shoulder. "Will you be able to go back to the tower to grab your things, or do you want me to go?"

Douxie felt like this was something he should be able to do for himself, but the thought of going up to the castle was terrifying. "Can you do it?" He hated the way his voice cracked.

"Of course," Douxie nuzzled against him and hopped off his shoulder. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Archie hesitated. "Will you be okay on your own?"

"I'll be fine," Douxie said. Archie frowned and looked at him in disbelief. Even Douxie could hear how unconvincing his tone was. He gave Archie a small smile. "Really, I'm fine. Go."

"Just stay here," Archie spread his wings out and took off. Once he was out of sight Douxie let out a shuddering breath and looked around the street. Nobody was in sight, let alone Merlin and Galahad. He was relieved. If he hadn't wanted to be around people before, he most certainly didn't want to see them now.

Still, better to be safe than sorry. Just because there weren't people around didn't mean that they wouldn't show up later. Douxie crouched back down behind the cart and pulled his legs up close to his chest. He wanted to dig his head into his knees, but he knew he probably shouldn't. His familiar trusted him to be okay on his own. If he went and let himself begin to hyperventilate when Archie was gone, the dragon would refuse to ever leave his side again. Douxie had to prove that he could handle being on his own.

Douxie tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and thought about nothing but breathing. He didn't think about Merlin, or Camelot, or his magic. Inhale, exhale, that was all that mattered right now.

Time seemed to pass slowly and almost instantly all at once. After what felt like both forever and no time at all Douxie heard the familiar flapping of wings. He relaxed and let a small smile slip onto his face. His familiar was back. Douxie stood up and turned towards Archie, but yelped and froze in a slight panic when he saw Morgana standing there.

"Douxie," Morgana closed the distance between them and embraced him. Douxie stood frozen and just looked at Archie in alarm and slight betrayal.

"You...you told her?" Douxie had spent several minutes trying to calm his breathing, but it sped up again in an instant. His hard work came undone in just a moment and he could feel himself beginning to panic again.

"It's alright," Morgana pulled away from Douxie. She pulled back from him and bent slightly so she was at eye level with him. "I'm not going to force you to stay here. In fact, I want to help you."

"You...what?" Douxie frowned.

"I thought that Archie would need some help bringing your things to you." Morgana gave him a small smile and took a large satchel off of her shoulder. She handed it to him. Douxie took the large satchel almost numbly. It was heavy and completely full. He didn't have to look inside to know that there was more in there than just his food and potion ingredients.

"Why are you helping me?" Douxie asked. He would have thought that Morgana, at least, would fight to make him stay, and yet it seemed like she wanted him to leave, otherwise she wouldn't be helping him with this. "Do you not want me here?"

"Of course I want you here," Morgana put her hands on Douxie's shoulders. "But I understand better than anybody how strict a master Merlin is. I can't tell you how many times I nearly quit, and I assure you that Merlin almost gave up on me much more than that." She gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Honestly, I don't think that Merlin is a good teacher for you." Douxie flinched slightly. If both Merlin and Morgana said that, then it was probably true, but it hurt. Merlin was the best wizard in the land. If he couldn't teach Douxie magic, what hope did he have with anybody else?

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Douxie admitted. Archie approached him slowly, almost cautiously, clearly worried that Douxie was mad at him. Douxie gave Archie a small smile and held a hand out to him. Archie smiled and leaned close to him. "I don't exactly have a plan.

Morgana looked thoughtful for a moment. "Have you considered the Wild Wood?" Douxie's eyes widened in alarm.

"But the Wild Wood is dangerous," Douxie said almost fearfully.

Morgana scoffed slightly. "People only say that because beings of magic live there, but you're a being of magic too. The Wood will recognize and accept you, I promise."

"How do you know?" Douxie asked. He didn't want to run off to the woods only to be attacked by trolls, fairies, or even the woods itself.

Morgana gave him a gentle smile. "Because it accepted me. I spent a lot of time in those woods when I was a child, and I was always safe."

"But what about Queen Guinevere?" Douxie asked. Morgana's smile became sad.

"You'll be safe so long as you don't antagonize the other creatures of the woods," Morgana said. "They may attack if they feel threatened, but humans do the same." She had a point about that. Morgana leaned forward and gently put her lips against Douxie's forehead in a chaste kiss. She brushed his hair out of his face. "I'm sure you and Archie will look out for each other. You'll be just fine."

Douxie took in a deep, shuddering breath. He knew she was right. Even if the Wild Wood didn't work out, Douxie and Archie would be able to find somewhere else to go. They had a lot of experience with improvising and surviving. It may take them some time to adjust after living in the castle for so long, but they would make it work.

Morgana must have seen some hesitancy in Douxie's eyes. She gave him a gentle smile and put her hand on his cheek. Douxie closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "Don't be afraid of the magic of the woods, Hisirdoux. Remember, you don't choose magic, it chose you, and it chose you for a reason."

Douxie swallowed thickly and gave Morgana an appreciative look. "Thank you...for everything." He clenched tightly at the satchel. "Merlin-"

"I'll talk to him," Morgana said. "You don't have to worry about that old wizard anymore."

Douxie nodded. He didn't know if he was relieved about that or disappointed. Part of him wanted to talk to Merlin himself, because it felt wrong to just leave like this, especially since he didn't know for certain that his master would make him leave at all, but he was too afraid to take the chance. He didn't want to get hurt again. So Douxie pushed down his uncertainties. This was probably for the best.

Archie made a sound almost like a whine. He perched himself on Douxie's shoulder and nudged him in a reassuring way. "We'll be just fine."

"I know," Douxie scratched behind Archie's ears. "We should probably go soon." Douxie knew that whether or not Merlin was actually going to give up on having him as an apprentice, he wouldn't be very happy with the boy wandering off in the night to live in the dangerous woods.

"Good luck, you two." Morgana said. She gave him a nod before turning and making her way back to the castle. Douxie sighed deeply, adjusted his grip on the satchel, and began to walk towards the forest. From there they would go on to the Wild Wood, and after that...they would figure it out from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This reference is a little more obscure, because it's just a quote that I was able to find, but I thought it was appropriate.
> 
> I feel like I made Morgana too physically affectionate with Douxie, with the hand on his face and the kiss to his forehead, but it felt really natural. And somebody needs to give this poor boy some physical attention, because he looks like he needs all the hugs, and not just from his cat.


	9. Chapter 9

Douxie had no idea where he was going, just that he needed to get away from Camelot. He wasn't sure if going into the Wild Wood was the smartest thing, but he wasn't going to back out now. Besides, this didn't have to be permanent. Douxie only needed to stay here until he could figure something else out. If Morgana was right about the magic of the woods, he would be safe there. And if she kept her word and didn't tell Merlin where Douxie had gone, the old wizard wouldn't know where he was until after Douxie was long gone.

Douxie walked through the trees, cautious but determined with every step he took. For the first few hours Archie walked by his side, alert and aware of every little sound and movement around them. When nothing eventful happened, and once Douxie had calmed down enough that Archie felt comfortable enough to leave him on his own, the familiar climbed onto Douxie's shoulders and made himself comfortable. One wouldn't think that a cat would be able to sleep on someone's shoulders, but Archie managed it just fine.

Douxie let Archie sleep. This wouldn't be the first time that they had done something like this. Douxie could walk all night, but he knew that as soon as he sat down to rest he would fall asleep and be completely defenseless. That was why Archie was resting now, so that he could be alert and ready while Douxie slept. They kept each other safe, that was what it meant to be familiars. They hadn't done it in this way since they had moved into the castle, but they easily slid back into their old habits.

Once Archie was asleep Douxie slowed his pace. His ears weren't as sensitive as Archie's were. If he was going to listen for danger, then he had to be silent himself. In the past Douxie would cast a detection spell around him. If anybody got too close to him, he would sense them and have enough time to get away or set up some proper defenses. In the Wild Wood though, creatures were everywhere, but that didn't mean that they were a threat. And for all Douxie knew, the woods were alive enough that just the trees would set off his detection spell.

Besides, Douxie hadn't tried to use his magic since before he'd gotten into trouble with Merlin for accidentally conjuring that illusion. He wouldn't say that he was afraid to use his powers, but he just wasn't quite ready for it yet.

Douxie was left undisturbed for a long time, but he didn't let his guard down. At any moment he could stumble across a flock of fairies, or trip into a dragon's den. He didn't want to be caught unawares.

It was nearly dawn when Douxie heard a low growl. He froze in his tracks and raised his hands. He just wanted to show that he was unarmed and not a threat. He wasn't trying to use his magic, he would much rather settle a threat peacefully than attack anybody. However, if he had no other choice, Douxie wanted to be able to defend himself and his familiar..

"Who's there?" Douxie asked. He did his best to put power behind his words without actually casting a spell. He wanted to show that he was unafraid and not to be messed with. "Show yourself."

"A youngling," Douxie whipped around when he heard the rough, harsh, definitely inhuman voice behind him. He could hear the magic flowing through the voice. Douxie shivered as the air around him got suddenly colder. He carefully lifted Archie from his shoulders and clutched him close to his chest, both so he could use the dragon's inner fire to warm himself up, and to better protect him.

"I'm warning you-" Douxie moved to take a step back but found that he couldn't move his feet. They were frozen to the ground with ice. Douxie yelped in shock and pain. He tried to yank his foot back, but it was stuck. He looked up to see mist creeping towards him. Douxie shuddered and saw his breath come out in a huff in front of him.

"Ooh, you're a brave one," The magical being chuckled. Out of the trees, travelling on the mists, appeared a pale skinned wizard. He looked like a teenager, but Douxie knew that looks could be deceiving. This being had far too much power to be so young. He wore a skull with massive horns on his head. "Foolish, but brave."

Despite his fears, Douxie felt insulted. "Foolish?"

The being grinned at him. It was chilling and horrifying. He looked at Douxie like a cat might look at its prey, like he was just something to play with before ultimately taking him out. "These woods belong to my sister. She has been gracious enough to allow refuge to our brothers and sisters in magic, but that doesn't mean that any little mortal can wander in and take advantage of that." The wizard smirked and pointed his staff at Douxie. A cold frost built up at the tip and Douxie had the feeling that he didn't just plan on freezing him in place.

"W-wait!" Douxie adjusted his grip on Archie. He held out his hand and instinctively summoned a small ball of fire. It wasn't all that powerful, and it certainly wouldn't be able to melt the ice, but the being's smirk weakened and the ice in its staff disappeared.

"A child of the occult," The being smiled at him, an almost gentle look in his eyes, but it didn't make Douxie feel any better than the cold smirk had. "It's been so long since I've seen a human wizard." He waved his staff and the ice around Douxie's feet shattered. They still felt incredibly numb.

Douxie held Archie close to his chest. "Honestly, I've never met a wizard who wasn't a human." The pale being hummed thoughtfully. He floated closer to Douxie and examined him with fascination.

"Why are you in my sister's woods, youngling?" The being asked. "Have you come looking for refuge as well?"

"Y-you could say that." Douxie flinched when the pale wizard touched his face with his staff. It was so cold that it burned. He tried to pull away, but the being lurched forward and grabbed his chin, holding him in place. The wizard's hand was even colder than the staff was. "Let go."

"What do you need refuge from?" The pale wizard asked. His tone wasn't malicious, but his firm grip said that he wasn't going to let Douxie get away without answer.

"M-my master," Douxie said. The wizard frowned and his grip softened, but his fingers got colder.

"Do you mean master as those with magic use it?" The pale one asked. "Or in the way that mortals use it?"

"I wasn't his servant," Douxie said. He knew that mortals used the term of master to mean a teacher, same as wizards did, but for most magical creatures who were discovered by mortals, if they weren't killed they were enslaved. "He taught me magic."

"You're seeking refuge from one of our own?" The wizard's fingers became even colder. "Why is that?"

"Get off." Douxie said. He didn't have to explain himself to this stranger. Douxie tried to push him away, but one look from the being's blue eyes and he found himself unable to move.

"There are so few of us, and yet your master has driven you away," The pale wizard's eyes narrowed like he was personally offended. "Who is your master?"

Douxie didn't want to answer, but he found his words pulled out of him. "Merlin Ambrosius,"

The wizard's hand fell away from Douxie's face, but the boy was still under his spell. He couldn't move. "Merlin? Yes, I've heard of King Arthur's _pet._ "

"Don't you talk about him like that!" Douxie shouted furiously. He clenched his fists so tightly that Archie flinched in his grip and stirred. Just because Douxie was no longer Merlin's apprentice didn't mean that he was going to just stand idly by and let this stranger disrespect him like this.

Douxie felt his magic reach out and a moment later a thick tree branch over the pale wizard snapped and fell onto his head. The wizard grunted in pain and staggered forward slightly. His magical grip on Douxie loosened, but before the boy could think to escape the wizard waved his staff and entrapped Douxie's legs in ice again. The wizard glared darkly at Douxie, sending shivers down his spine.

"You dare use your magic to turn my sister's forest against me?" The pale being seemed to loom over Douxie. Douxie knew he should be terrified, that this wizard wasn't somebody he should be messing with, but he was too angry to care.

"Yeah, I dare," Douxie said boldly. "Merlin Ambrosius is the greatest wizard in the world. Who do you think you are, to just insult him like that?"

"Skrael!" Douxie and the pale wizard both stopped and looked when they heard a quiet but stern voice. A nymph or a forest sprite jumped out of a tree, forcing herself between Douxie and the pale wizard. Douxie felt his breath get caught in his throat, though not necessarily in a bad way. He could sense magic in the sprite, but a different kind than the ice wizard. The sprite's magic was radiating with warmth and life. Douxie felt calmer just being around her.

"What are you doing, brother?" The sprite was much shorter than Skrael, but her gaze made him shrink back slightly. "Release the child."

"He attacked me, Nari," Skrael growled.

"Now, Skrael," Nari said in a tone that left no room for argument. Skrael rolled his eyes.

"You're no fun," Skrael gestured towards Douxie and the ice around his legs melted away again.

"This is not a game," Nari said. She no longer sounded stern and angry, but incredibly sad and disappointed. Skrael flinched back, but Nari was no longer paying attention to him. She crouched on all fours and crawled towards Douxie slowly. She reached for his leg, so cautiously and timidly that it was almost as though she was worried that she would hurt him. The moment that Nari's hand made contact with Douxie's leg the coldness seeped out of it.

Douxie could feel the way that Nari's magical aura glowed. "You're so bright."

Nari tilted her head and looked up at Douxie curiously. A moment later a look of recognition flashed in her eyes. "So are you." She smiled brightly at him, and Douxie was sure that there was nothing in this world that could be more soothing. "You have so much life within you." Douxie was tempted to deny it. There was no way he had nearly as much light as Nari had, but she seemed to see something within him, and Douxie remembered that Merlin had seen the same thing. Two powerful magicians couldn't be wrong about something like this.

Nari crouched down on the ground. Douxie didn't feel comfortable looking down on her. He knelt down to be closer to her level. Nari leaned towards Douxie, sniffing curiously at Archie, who had fallen back asleep. Douxie was surprised he had slept through the confrontation with Skrael, but he was glad for it. Archie would have attacked Skrael without a second thought, and Douxie did not want to find out which was stronger, magical ice or dragon's fire.

Douxie smiled gently. He couldn't help but trust Nari, even with his precious familiar. He opened his arms and set Archie down on his lap. The cat twitched and burrowed closer to him, hiding his face in his paws. Nari giggled and Douxie couldn't help but laugh as well. Archie always denied how cuddly and cute he was when he slept.

"Dragons are not usually trusting creatures," Nari gently stroked Archie's fur. He purred contently and leaned into her touch. "But this one trusts you completely."

"He's my familiar," Douxie scratched behind Archie's ears. Nari tore her attention away from Archie and looked at Douxie in curious awe and respect.

"Our kind haven't taken in familiars for a long time." Nari said.

Douxie frowned and shifted his position so he was sitting on the ground instead of kneeling. "Why not?" He knew that Merlin and Morgana didn't have familiars, but he'd never thought to question it before. All while Douxie was growing up his father had told him stories of familiars and magicians working together. The thought had never occurred to him that he himself wouldn't find his own familiar.

"Mistrust," Nari said sadly. She sat cross-legged on the ground. "Children of magic are attacked so much that they've begun to feel that it isn't safe to trust anybody, not even someone like them."

"I've lost count of how many times I would have died if I didn't trust Archie," Douxie said. "He keeps me safe, and I do the same for him."

Nari nodded. "That is the way it should be."

"Do you have a familiar?" Douxie asked.

Nari smiled and gestured her arms out grandly. "This forest, and all forests, are my familiar." Nari closed her eyes and brought her arms close to her chest, like she was holding something precious. "I can sense the life force of every living being, but especially the trees. Every one of them feels like home to me."

"Home," Douxie muttered. "That sounds nice." Douxie hadn't had a place that he felt was home since he was a small child in Kievan Rus'. Ever since he left he had always been on the move, never staying in the same town for more than a few weeks, and rarely sleeping in the same place two nights in a row. Camelot had felt a little bit like home, but Douxie had always had to watch his back. Now the kingdom felt tainted and Douxie got a hollow feeling in his chest when he thought about it. He couldn't go back there, he knew that, but he wished desperately that he could. He had never wanted so badly to settle down somewhere and just live his life.

Nari frowned and looked pained. "You are hurt," She crawled towards Douxie and put a hand on his chest, right where the hollow feeling was.

"It's nothing," Douxie tried to brush her hand away. He didn't want Nari to be so concerned about something that really wasn't such a big deal.

Nari narrowed her eyes at him and gave him such a stern look that he just couldn't bring himself to push her away. She increased the pressure of her hand. "This isn't nothing. If it hurts you, then it's very important."

Douxie hunched his shoulders slightly. "I just...I don't know what's wrong with me. I left for a reason, and Camelot has never really felt like home, so why-" Douxie cut himself off with a stiff, choked sob. "Why does it hurt so much?"

"I don't know," Nari leaned closer to Douxie. He could feel her magic, her warmth, seeping into him. It didn't make him feel any better, but it was comforting all the same. "But there is not always reason behind pain. Sometimes, trying to understand why or how to make it better makes the pain worse."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Douxie asked.

"Nothing," Nari said regretfully. "Sometimes the only thing we can do is let the pain happen."

Douxie whined slightly and leaned forward. He clutched Archie close to his chest. "I just want it to stop."

Nari made a sound that sounded like a cross between a moan and a door creaking open. She leaned her forehead against Douxie's.

"I know," Nari brought her hands to Douxie's head. While the warmth had been somewhat soothing in his chest, it made Douxie's head feel both heavy and empty at the same time. He could still feel the hollow pain in his chest, but the numbness in his head made it seem not so bad.

"Rest, young one," Nari said. "Let go."

"I can't." Douxie had sworn that he wouldn't let himself sleep until Archie was awake. He had to keep his familiar safe. He couldn't let Archie down.

"Yes, you can," Nari said gently. "Me and the forest will watch out for you and the dragon." Her words echoed in Douxie's head. He knew that she was using her magic to influence his mind, and he should be furious about this, he should resist her, but it felt so soothing. He couldn't fight it. Douxie felt his eyes grow heavy and he soon found himself drifting off to the sounds of the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to be part of the previous chapter, but it felt more natural to split it into two shorter chapters. And I just had to have Nari meet Douxie. 
> 
> In the show, when Douxie falls and almost dies, Nari is the only one that we see running and desperate to get to him, even though of all the characters she should be the one who is least emotionally connected to him. I know that it makes sense with her connection to life, but I wanted to give her and Douxie some interaction of some sort, even this little thing.


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin woke up with a pounding headache. He could tell by how bright his room was that he had slept in for longer than he normally would, and yet he still felt exhausted. This was precisely why Merlin didn't like to drink. His judgement was questionable when he was intoxicated, and he couldn't focus the morning after, even with the help of his potions.

Merlin groaned and forced himself out of bed. He'd had far too much to drink last night. He couldn't even remember returning to his room. Merlin wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and sleep this off, but he had work to do. If Merlin didn't perform his royal sorcerer duties then Arthur would begin questioning why. Merlin valued his king's opinion, and he didn't want to give Arthur any reason to doubt his capabilities and judgement.

Besides, Arthur knew that Merlin wasn't fond of drinking, so he might be suspicious as to why he had gotten so intoxicated that night. If Arthur learned of the illusion incident, or if he knew about Merlin's doubts about teaching his apprentice control, all of them would be in trouble, but especially Hisirdoux.

Merlin barely kept himself from staggering into his workshop. Everything ached but Merlin did his best to not show it. Everybody saw him as a wizard who was in complete control at all times, and he couldn't afford to let that image slip, even when he thought he was on his own.

Merlin frowned when he saw the state of his workshop. It wasn't exactly a disaster, but it wasn't as tidy as he liked it to be. Merlin knew that he hadn't left his workshop like this the day before. When Merlin saw the destroyed lute on the table his stomach sank. He'd nearly forgotten about the lute, which was odd, since this instrument had so much to do with why he had gone to the tavern last night.

Merlin reached out towards the lute, but he pulled back before he could touch it, as though worried that he might put it in an even worse state. Perhaps he had been a little harsh, but he refused to regret it.

Merlin looked at the lute for a long moment before he tore his gaze away and took a closer look at his workshop. He wondered if Hisirdoux had been responsible for this small mess, as a way to get back at Merlin for what he had done. It was annoying, but Merlin supposed he could excuse it just this once. There were worse ways that Hisirdoux could have expressed his frustrations.

Merlin spent a few minutes straightening things up. This was normally Hisirdoux' job, but Merlin wasn't about to wake up the boy just so he could tidy up the workshop, not after the trying night they'd both probably had. While Merlin wasn't normally in the habit of going easy on his apprentices, he thought he could make an exception just this once.

Merlin couldn't help but notice that a few of his books were missing. It wasn't uncommon for Hisirdoux to borrow some of his more simple spell books to study, but the boy always asked first. Perhaps Morgana had come in and taken some of his things, which she was prone to do sometimes. Merlin would have to have words with her.

Merlin took his time tidying up the workshop, but as soon as he was done he knew he couldn't procrastinate anymore. He was the adult here, the master, he had to be the first one to make things right. Merlin went to Hisirdoux' room and let himself inside. He expected to see the boy sleeping, or at least resting on his bed, but the room looked empty. Merlin didn't even see Archie sleeping on the bed like he usually was.

Merlin frowned and looked around. "Hisirdoux?" Merlin looked behind the door, hoping to see his apprentice. He knew it wasn't all that strange for Hisirdoux to be elsewhere in the castle, but there was just something about not seeing the boy in here that made Merlin feel nervous, almost anxious. Something about how empty the room was bothered him.

It wasn't until Merlin glanced under the bed did he realize just what felt so wrong about the room. Hisirdoux kept all of his most precious belongings under the bed, so that it was hidden from others and nearby should he need it. Merlin was shocked and alarmed to see that there was nothing under there, not even the boxes that Hisirdoux hid his food collection and personal ingredients in. Merlin didn't want to think about why they would be gone.

He had to find Hisirdoux.

Merlin quickly left his apprentice's small room. If his apprentice wasn't up here, he was probably with Morgana, or at the very least she might know where he was. Merlin didn't stop to make himself a potion to ease his headache. He paused just long enough to grab his staff before he left his tower.

Merlin passed just a handful of servants as he walked down the halls. All of them glanced at him, but quickly averted their gaze and went about their business. Merlin walked with angry purpose, and the servants must have been able to tell that he wasn't in the mood for idle chat. He was left alone, and he appreciated it.

Merlin made his way to the dining hall. He had slept in for so long that it was time for the midday meal, and there was a high chance that was where Morgana was. She frequently joined her brother for the midday meal. If Morgana wasn't there, at least Merlin would be able to show Arthur that he was there and ready to serve, even if he had other priorities at the moment. And Merlin could take the chance to grab some food for Hisirdoux, a peace offering for when he found him.

In the dining hall Merlin saw Arthur and Morgana just having a quiet, private meal with each other. Arthur looked calmer and more relaxed than he usually was, but Morgana glared darkly at Merlin like she was disgusted with him.

"Merlin, my friend," Arthur gestured to the seats near him. "Please, join us."

"I am honored, your majesty," Merlin gave a small bow. "However, I was hoping to speak with Morgana about something."

Arthur's smile dimmed slightly. "Is this a magic related issue?"

"Not exactly," Merlin said. "My apprentice spent yesterday with Morgana, and I was hoping to have a few words about him." Morgana's glare darkened even more. Merlin knew that if Arthur wasn't in the room she would likely try to attack him.

Morgana stood up and tilted her head slightly so she was looking down on Merlin. She normally carried herself as a Master Wizard, but at this moment her aura radiated with royal energy. Morgana rarely leaned in to her role as a lady of the realm, but she was tapping into that energy now.

"Of course, Merlin," Morgana said with cold politeness. She bowed towards Arthur. "Please, excuse me, brother," Arthur gestured for her to be on her way. Morgana walked past Merlin and he felt a chill down his spine. Her shadow magic was barely contained. Merlin squared his shoulders and tightened his grip on his staff. He had the feeling that this wasn't just going to be a casual conversation.

"I hope your head is hurting after the night you had," Morgana said. She had no sympathy for Merlin.

"In fact, it is," Merlin frowned at Morgana. "But that doesn't matter right now." Merlin stepped in front of Morgana and used his staff to block her path. He wasn't threatening her, but he needed her to know that if she made one wrong move that could change in an instant. "Morgana, where is Hisirdoux?"

Morgana's eyes flashed and the shadows on the wall seemed to grow larger and darker. "That boy is no longer your concern."

Merlin felt another chill, but he didn't think this one had anything to do with Morgana's magic. "He's my apprentice. Of course he's my concern."

"You've lost the privilege to call him that," Morgana said.

"How I choose to discipline my apprentice is my concern," Merlin said irritably. He respected Morgana's powers, but he didn't appreciate her interference in Hisirdoux' training. She barely knew the boy, she certainly didn't understand his powers, and yet she thought that she knew what was best for Hisirdoux.

"I'm not just speaking of your unnecessary cruelty," Morgana said. "Though I haven't forgotten about that either."

Merlin didn't know what else he could have done that would anger Morgana so much, but it was clear that Morgana wasn't quick to give him straight answers. Merlin scowled and his staff began to glow green. If he was going to learn where Hisirdoux was, he would have to be smart about this.

" _Verum loqui!"_ Merlin said. He didn't normally like to use truth spells, as that kind of magic took one's free will from them, and there were kinder ways to achieve goals, but he wasn't in the mood for Morgana's games. "Now, I shall ask one more time. Where is Hisirdoux?"

Morgana was doing her best to resist him, but Merlin had caught her off guard and his magic was stronger than hers. "T-the Wild Wood."

"What?!" Merlin tightened his grip on his staff and increased the strength of his spell. "Why? What is he doing in there?" If Hisirdoux had gotten it into his head to try to defeat one of the magical creatures in the woods to appease Merlin…

"Running away," Morgana seethed.

Merlin froze and almost let his magic slip. "Running a- _why_?"

"He deserves a better master than you." Morgana spat. Merlin was terrified for a second that Hisirdoux had said that. Merlin knew that Morgana didn't approve of his methods, but as long as Hisirdoux accepted him as a master, then he had to be doing something right. Had he really failed his apprentice so completely that the boy thought he thought he would be better off in the Wild Wood? It took Merlin a very long moment to realize that his spell may have just made Morgana speak what she thought was the truth. Merlin would have to talk to Hisirdoux himself to know what he was thinking.

"How could you just let him go like that?" Merlin asked.

"He's a child of magic," Morgana said. "The forest will protect him."

"Wha-are you mad?" Merlin stared at Morgana in disbelief. The Wild Wood may serve as a haven for creatures of magic, but some of those creatures were dangerous and not too fond of humans. Some wizards had enough power and control to be safe in the Wild Wood, but Hisirdoux certainly wasn't, especially when he was emotional, which he surely was.

"The Wild Wood is dangerous," Merlin said.

"So are you," Morgana said coldly. Merlin scowled and dropped his spell. He would deal with Morgana later. For now, he had to go find his foolish apprentice before he got himself killed. If Hisirdoux truly didn't want to be his apprentice anymore, Merlin would let him go. He may be the boy's master, but he didn't own him. However, Merlin was not going to let that boy put himself in such dangerous situations. If Hisirdoux didn't want to stay in the castle Merlin would find somewhere else to go. There were plenty of wizards who hid away their magic and lived ordinary lives. They could teach Hisirdoux how to do the same thing. But Merlin wasn't going to let the boy go until he heard from the boy himself that it was what he wanted.

Merlin used his magic to push Morgana aside. He was a little harsher than he intended to be, but he was angry with her. Morgana had known that Hisirdoux had run off, and she had done nothing to stop him. Merlin wouldn't be surprised to learn that Morgana had actually encouraged him.

Merlin went down to the stables to get his horse. He didn't ride nearly as often as Morgana and Arthur did, but the king insisted that he have his own horse, and at this moment Merlin appreciated it. He waited anxiously as the stable boy prepared his horse. He was impatient, but Merlin had to trust the boy to do his job. The last thing he wanted was to harm his horse out in the Wild Wood.

Finally the boy was finished and Merlin was able to be on his way. He considered taking another horse for Hisirdoux, but it would take more time to prepare, and Hisirdoux was still small enough that Merlin didn't think there would be a problem with him riding behind him. The distance between Camelot and the Wild Wood was close enough that while double riding may be uncomfortable, it was certainly feasible.

Merlin spurred the horse out of the stable and immediately encouraged it to speed up to a canter. He was in a hurry, but Merlin didn't want to exhaust the horse by pushing it too far. He may be in a rush, but he still needed to be smart about this.

Merlin hurried the horse to the Wild Wood before he slowed it down to a walk. It would be foolish for him to be reckless in these woods. And while the Wild Wood wasn't all that large, it was confusing. The magic of the woods made it all too easy for a visitor to lose their way, especially as they went deeper. Merlin couldn't just search blindly for his apprentice, he needed to be smart about this.

Merlin lifted his staff and looked at it for a long moment. Locator spells were simple enough, but thicks got tricky when the one being tracked had magic as well. Locator spells latched onto the aura of a person, and a magician's aura was in their magic. If they had any spells in place, the locator spell might be drawn to those spells instead.

Merlin also had no idea if the magic of the woods would interfere with any spells he cast. He was thinking about how he should continue from here when he saw a light appear in front of him. Merlin was cautious at first, because he'd heard about fiery spirits that appeared sometimes in woods like this. These spirits were known to lead lost travelers astray.

The smart thing to do would be to walk in the opposite direction as this spirit was trying to lead him, but Merlin couldn't help but pause. The light was a very specific and familiar shade of blue.

"Hisirdoux?" Merlin said quietly. The light brightened slightly and floated closer to him before it went off the path and started moving through the trees. When Merlin didn't immediately move to follow it the light paused, as though it was waiting.

Merlin knew that the most probable explanation was that this light was a mischievous spirit, but if there was even a chance that it was just some of Hisirdoux' magic, here to guide Merlin to his apprentice, he had to follow it. Merlin spurred the horse onward and felt more confident when it did as he said. Animals were more sensitive to the presence of magic than humans were, and horses especially were easily spooked by the presence of magical spirits. If the light truly was a spirit the horse probably wouldn't be quick to follow it.

Merlin just hoped that this light truly was just Hisirdoux' magic and not his apprentice's spirit. If this light led Merlin to a body he would never forgive Morgana. She should have known better than to encourage Hisirdoux to run off.

Merlin followed the light for a few long hours. The blue light would dash ahead, wait for Merlin to catch up, and then race off again. This light certainly had energy. Merlin didn't know if coming this far was reassuring or a concern. He could be lost at this point, but if Hisirdoux was in these woods, he would definitely be lost.

Merlin passed very few creatures as he traveled. It was still afternoon, and many of the trolls and nocturnal creatures wouldn't come out for a few more hours. Merlin should probably be relieved, but he was far too nervous. Quiet magic was some of the most dangerous magic.

Eventually the light led Merlin to a thicket. The Wild Wood had such thick trees and was constantly shrouded in mist, which made it difficult to truly know what time of day it was. This small thicket felt darker than the rest of the wood, with the trees so close together that Merlin couldn't see the sky above him at all, just a canopy of leaves. Despite the darkness, Merlin felt nothing but magical light and life in this area of the Wild Wood.

The light floated to the middle of the thicket and lowered itself down to what Merlin first thought was a pile of leaves. As the light faded into the leaves it glowed brighter, illuminating the still figure on the ground. Merlin's eyes widened. Was that…

"Hisirdoux!" Merlin quickly got off the horse and approached the figure. Merlin took his staff and summoned a strong breeze to brush aside the leaves, revealing the figure more clearly. There was no doubt about it, that was his young apprentice. Merlin knelt next to his apprentice and rolled him over so he wasn't lying face down. For a terrifying moment Merlin thought that Hisirdoux was injured or worse, but he soon calmed himself down. Hisirdoux was breathing, he didn't have any clear wounds, and Merlin was confident that the light that had led him here was a manifestation of the boy's magic. He couldn't have unconsciously summoned the light if he was hurt or in danger, because his magic would be busy protecting him.

Hisirdoux was safe, and Merlin could bring him home.

Merlin began to pull Hisirdoux up but froze when he heard a threatening, deep growl. It wasn't exactly a sound that he had heard all that often, but Merlin would recognize it anywhere. There was a dragon here, a very, _very_ angry and territorial dragon.

Merlin stood up and held his staff protectively in front of Hisirdoux. A moment later a streak of shadows came bursting out of the trees and struck Merlin's chest with so much force that the magician was knocked back away from Hisirdoux.

Merlin thought that the dragon must have thrown something at him, a warning shot before it sent fire his way, but then he got a good look at the shadowy streak, which was now standing protectively on Hisirdoux' chest.

"Archibald," Merlin straightened.

"Wizard," Archie growled. Merlin could see smoke at the edges of his mouth. The familiar was barely restraining his magic.

"Calm yourself, Archibald," Merlin approached his apprentice, but the dragon roared at him. Merlin was shocked enough to stop in his tracks. "It's just me." He knew that Archie was extremely protective of Hisirdoux, and he'd been on the receiving end of his anger before, but never like this. Archie's roar, growl, and threat of fire made him resemble a true dragon for the first time since Merlin had met him. Why did he deserve such hostility now?

"Why do you think I'm doing this?" Archie's claws dug into Hisirdoux' clothes. "If you think I'm going to let you _anywhere_ near Douxie after you threatened him last night-"

"Threatened him?" Merlin frowned. "I did nothing of the sort." Merlin had been harsh, and he knew that in a way he had hurt Hisirdoux, but he wouldn't go so far as to say that he had threatened him.

Archie hissed harshly and Hisirdoux stirred. The boy groaned and lifted a hand to stroke Archie. The familiar glared at Merlin before he curled up against Hisirdoux. The boy grinned slightly and opened his eyes blurrily. Hisirdoux was still just half asleep, but when he saw Merlin his eyes widened, suddenly wide awake.

"M-master," Hisirdoux sat up and scrambled back. As furious as Archie was, Hisirdoux looked almost terrified. He was doing his best to hide it, but Merlin knew Hisirdoux well enough to recognize when he was scared. "Wh-what are you doing here?" The boy got to his feet and picked up Archie to hold him back.

"What am I...I'm here looking for you, foolish boy." Merlin said. Archie hissed and Hisirdoux narrowed his eyes. Neither of them seemed to believe him, and Merlin didn't know why.

"Why should you care?" Archie growled.

"It's alright, mate," Hisirdoux pet behind Archie's ears. "I'll take care of this." Hisirdoux squared his shoulders and gave Merlin a cold look. He must be taking a page out of Morgana's book. "You heard him. Why would you care?"

"You're my apprentice," Merlin took a step towards Hisirdoux, but the boy narrowed his eyes at him and took a step back.

"I thought you wished that you hadn't taken me in as an apprentice." Hisirdoux said tightly. Merlin was taken aback.

"That's ridiculous," Merlin scoffed. "What gave you that idea?"

" _You_ did." Hisirdoux' voice cracked horribly. "I saw you leaving the tavern last night, with Galahad, and you were talking about _me_."

Merlin couldn't remember saying anything along those lines, but Hisirdoux seemed completely convinced, and it would certainly explain Archie's animosity towards him.

"Hisirdoux," Merlin said quietly, but the boy wasn't hearing it.

"Just…" Hisirdoux sighed, and some of the fight seemed to drain out of him. "Can you just tell me the truth. D-do you really think it would be better if I wasn't your apprentice. If you hadn't saved me?"

"Now hang on just a moment," Merlin looked at Hisirdoux in shock for a moment. "Even if I didn't want you as my apprentice, which I will address in just a moment, that has nothing to do with my decision to save your life."

"But you saved me because you needed an apprentice," Hisirdoux said.

"I don't _need_ an apprentice," Merlin said. They were useful, and certainly made life interesting, but Merlin could handle his work on his own. "I offered the job to you because you needed a place to stay, and somebody to guide you. If I thought that I couldn't teach you adequately, I would find another master for you."

"You...you would?" Hisirdoux blinked. The boy looked at Archie, who shook his head. Neither of them believed him. That was fine. This was what magic was for.

"Do you know how to use a truth spell?" Merlin asked.

"Uh, yeah," Hisirdoux said, though he didn't sound completely confident.

"Then please," Merlin held his arms out, inviting Hisirdoux to use the spell on him. "I have nothing to hide,"

Hisirdoux took a deep breath and put Archie on his shoulders so his arms were available. The boy held his palms out and closed his eyes. " _Verum loqui!"_ Merlin felt the magic wash over him.

"Everything I've told you is the truth," Merlin said. Hisirdoux lowered his hands, though he kept the spell in place.

"Then why did you say it would be better if you hadn't taken me as an apprentice?" Hisirdoux asked.

"I don't remember saying that," Merlin said. He didn't doubt that he'd said something along these lines when he'd been drunk. The thought had crossed his mind a few times, he just didn't recall actually saying it. "But I'm sure I didn't mean it the way you thought I did. You probably _would_ fare better under a different master, but that has nothing to do with your inability to learn, and everything to do with my inability to teach you in a way you would understand."

"You...you mean that," Hisirdoux's arms dropped to his side. "I thought," Hisirdoux swallowed thickly. Archie nuzzled against him to offer comfort. "I thought that after you...you just broke-" Hisirdoux trailed off.

"...Maybe I acted a little hastily." Merlin glanced to the side. "But we need to work on your control. Do you have any idea what Arthur would do to you if he knew about the illusion?"

Hisirdoux hunched his shoulders slightly. "You probably wouldn't be able to stop him the way you had stopped Galahad."

"Indeed," Merlin felt a chill just thinking about it. That was the worst case scenario, but when it came to Arthur and magic, it was always best to assume the worst. "You have no idea how scared I was for you, and that fear was projected as anger and frustration, and I apologize for that."

Hisirdoux was silent for a long moment. Finally he took in a deep breath and wrapped his arms around himself. "I-I know that you think I deserve a better master, but I don't think I can do any better than you."

"So why did you leave?" Merlin asked.

"Honestly, I thought you were going to kick me out," Hisirdoux said. "I thought it would hurt too much to deal with, so I thought I would leave before I was forced away."

"Well, I'm certainly not going to kick you out," Merlin said. He understood why Merlin had thought so, but he was disappointed that Morgana hadn't corrected that line of thinking. She should know that Merlin wouldn't leave somebody on their own when he'd already sworn to protect them. "If you don't want to leave-"

"-I don't," Hisirdoux said quickly. "I-I really don't." The boy rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought I did, but actually leaving...it just hurt too much. I don't feel like Camelot is home, but I want it to be."

"That's something the two of us will have to work on," Merlin said. He clearly needed to take a more direct approach with teaching Hisirdoux. If a teaching method didn't work the boy should be able to tell him so. It would take more effort on both of their parts than they were used to, but Merlin thought it would be worth it if it meant avoiding another misunderstanding like this.

"Do you want to come back to Camelot with me?" Merlin asked. He held out a hand. Archie and Hisirdoux exchanged glances. They almost seemed to be communicating silently with each other, though Merlin wouldn't be surprised if that was something the two of them could actually do. After a long moment Archie sighed and Hisirdoux grinned.

"Yeah," Hisirdoux took Merlin's hand. "I think I do."

The heaviness that had been sitting in Merlin's chest since he had woken up that morning lightened. Hisirdoux' truth spell fell away from Merlin as the two of them walked back to the horse. Merlin mounted it and then offered a hand out to pull Hisirdoux up behind him.

As they began to leave the thicket Merlin heard a sound in the trees that resembled a distressed deer. When Merlin looked towards the trees he caught a glimpse of what looked like antlers and some glowing eyes, but before he could get a good look the creature bounded away. Hisirdoux, who had been watching the same bushes as Merlin had been, smiled almost sadly.

"Thank you," The boy said so quietly that Merlin wondered if he had imagined it. Hisirdoux faced forward again and grabbed onto Merlin's armor for balance. "Let's go home."

"Yes," Merlin flicked the horse's reins. "Home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more chapter, which will be more of a shorter epilogue. Don't worry though, I'm far from done with writing about these characters. I've got some other stories in mind. None of them will be nearly as long as this, but they should be fun.


	11. Chapter 11

It felt weird to return to Camelot. In some ways it felt completely different, but at the same time it was almost uncomfortably familiar. Just like those first few days when he'd been taken in, Douxie was confined to the tower. He didn't mind it so much. He was nervous and somewhat restless, because he still wasn't sure if this was going to work, and he could feel his magic lying just under the surface, ready to come out and protect him.

It seemed like every day he got overwhelmed or just a little too startled and his magic would flare out. Nothing disastrous had happened, and Merlin assured him that this was all perfectly normal and to be expected, but Douxie didn't think that King Arthur would be nearly as understandable.

Douxie felt a little awkward and uncomfortable being kept away like this, like a small child, but it was also a little reassuring. Up in the tower he didn't have to worry about the knights or Arthur. Douxie didn't feel in danger, and there was a much lower chance of his magic getting loose and causing trouble in the rest of the castle.

The main problem that Douxie had with being confined to the tower was that the only ones allowed up there were him, Merlin, and Archie. Douxie hadn't seen Morgana since he'd gotten back. He'd heard her, several times. Morgana would come up to the tower once or twice a day to try to see Douxie, but Merlin wouldn't let her through the door. The two Master Magicians would start arguing and shouting, and Douxie was always the topic of discussion.

While Merlin wasn't mad at Douxie for running off, he was absolutely furious with Morgana for enabling him. Morgana on the other hand frequently accused Merlin of hurting Douxie, abusing him, even, and she didn't think that the older wizard had any right to bring Douxie back. It was weird to hear them argue so often about him, but after several days Douxie stopped being bothered by it.

Though Douxie missed Morgana, and he hoped that both of the Master Wizards would calm down soon, he was always relieved when she left. Merlin had been putting more effort into trying to be patient and understanding to Douxie, but he never tried harder than he did after his confrontations with Morgana.

Merlin was an incredibly proud wizard. He didn't want to do anything that would prove Morgana right. So without fail as soon as Morgana left Merlin began to give Douxie a magic lesson, and the apprentice enjoyed every second of it. Merlin seemed uncomfortable with teaching Douxie new spells, but magic was more than just spells. It was potions, history, and culture, and Douxie was fascinated by this brand new world.

Douxie had helped Merlin to gather and organize potion ingredients, and he'd provided assistance when it came to making potions and magic tools, but he'd never been allowed the freedom to brew a potion all by himself. It was thrilling, made Douxie feel powerful and completely in control, and Merlin was right there behind him to provide emergency assistance if the brew was about to blow up, or if Douxie asked for help.

He had been so proud the first time he'd been completely successful with his potion, and that feeling had gotten even better when Merlin had acknowledged his work and progress. It wasn't often that Merlin handed out compliments, and this one felt special. Like most people, Douxie didn't know how to read.

All of Merlin's texts and spellbooks were in Old English and Latin. Merlin had been trying to teach Douxie how to read them, but the progress was incredibly slow. The only reason he could understand the books at all was because Archie could read about half the words and Douxie could use the accompanying pictures and context clues to get a vague idea. It wasn't a perfect process, but Douxie was getting better.

While Douxie was given a lot more personal attention from Merlin than he had before, the Master Wizard still had work to attend to. For at least a few hours every day Douxie and Archie were left alone in the tower. It was during this time that Douxie tidied up the workshop. Merlin had been so patient with him since he'd come back, and though Douxie didn't think that it would last he didn't want to do anything that would end it prematurely.

Merlin was never gone from the tower for more than four or five hours, so Douxie was confused and a little worried when his Master still wasn't back after sundown, even though he had left before midday. Douxie knew that Merlin was just fine and there probably wasn't any emergency, but after several days of things being really predictable, it was odd for things to suddenly change without any explanation.

Douxie was trying to study one of the spellbooks when Merlin finally returned to the castle. Douxie tossed the book aside a little too carelessly and got to his feet. "Master,"

"Hisirdoux," Merlin gave him one of his small, rare smiles. Despite being gone all day Merlin didn't look tired or annoyed. He seemed incredibly content, and it was a nice change. "I believe that I have found a solution to your little control problem."

"Really?" Douxie was a little shocked, though he really shouldn't be. He knew that once Merlin got started on something he didn't easily give it up, and he'd been working hard to find a way to properly train Douxie. "How?"

Merlin gestured for Douxie to follow him to his bedchambers, which were connected to the workshop, just like Douxie's was. Merlin's room was much larger than Douxie's was full of all kinds of cursed objects and forbidden books that Merlin hadn't wanted him to be around. Douxie was curious about everything, but he kept his gaze forward and stayed at Merlin's side.

Douxie's master led him to a table with a chick metal and stone cuff sitting on it. At first glance Douxie didn't think there was anything unusual about it, in fact, it looked nearly identical to a cuff that he regularly wore himself, but then he saw the symbols on it. Those were runes. Curious, Douxie reached out towards the cuff, and when Merlin didn't stop him he picked it up. He felt some of Merlin's magic flowing through it. The magic was subtle, but incredibly powerful.

"What is this?" Douxie asked.

"It's rather complicated," Merlin said. He held his hands out and Douxie handed the cuff over. Merlin took Douxie's left hand, though he was careful of the still healing injury, and replaced Douxie's current cuff with this new one.. Douxie shuddered as he felt a sudden disconnect from his magic. It was still there, but it almost felt like a metal fence was now separating Douxie from it. Douxie gave Merlin a wounded and slightly betrayed look.

"A-an inhibitor cuff?" Douxie had heard of these. Some parents of magical children got them to block off their child's magic so they wouldn't be in danger. Douxie had even helped a wizard or two inhibit their own magic, but he'd never been even remotely interested in using one for himself. He liked his magic, and Douxie didn't appreciate being separated from it, especially against his will.

"Not exactly," Merlin said. He tapped a finger on the cuff. "I'm assuming you know what these symbols are." They looked similar to runes, but Douxie knew that most of the symbols weren't actually traditional Nordic runes. Still, he recognized them.

"They're magic sigils," Douxie said. "My mother told me about these symbols when I was little. She said they were both Nordic and Irish." Douxie only knew what these symbols meant because as soon as he had started to show his magic his mother had used these symbols to explain his new powers.

"Indeed," Merlin nodded. "Try to use one of those symbols to cast a spell."

"Uh-" Douxie looked at the runes. They each meant different things, and when combined with each other they could mean something completely different. Douxie decided to do something simple, since he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing at all. Douxie found the symbol that he recognized as the one for fire and pressed down on it. All of the symbols and accents on the cuff glowed blue and Douxie suddenly felt magic escape through. It was warm and wild, just like fire, and Douxie was able to effortlessly summon a flame.

"H-how?" Douxie stared at the flame. He still felt the cuff suppressing his magic, but he had no issue summoning or maintaining the simple spell.

"Think of the runes as keys," Merlin said. "The cuff locks away your magic, which should help contain any further outbursts or accidents, but should you want to use your magic-"

"I just use the runes," Douxie grinned slightly and closed his fist around the fire, putting it out. He spun the runes on the cuff and stopped on the protection rune. He pulled out his magic to make a barrier. "This is incredible."

"The blocking spell around the cuff is only at half strength." Merlin said, and he looked just as pleased as Douxie felt. "In case there's an emergency, you should be able to push past the cuff without too much issue."

Douxie laughed slightly as he spun the runes, stopping at the runes of air and joy. He wanted to try something. Douxie held out his hand and attempted the calming spell he had struggled with. He was surprised and ecstatic to see it actually work. Not only did this cuff help restrain his magic when he didn't want it to come out, but it made it easier to focus on his power when he needed it.

"T-thank you, Master," Douxie said quietly. He hadn't known that this could of thing could be done with magic. "It feels great."

"I'm glad you feel that way," Merlin said. "Morgana was worried that you would feel patronized."

"Not at all," Douxie shook his head. "Wait, you talked to Morgana about this?" Douxie didn't know that Morgana and Merlin were ready to have a normal conversation with each other.

"I was inspired by her," Merlin said. "When Morgana first started to practice dark magic she would have recurring nightmares. An old friend of hers gave her a magic bracelet that kept unwanted dreams at bay."

"Well, I really appreciate this," Douxie said. He already felt more comfortable with his magic. He looked at all the runes. He wanted to experiment with them and find out just what he could do. "Can you show me a few new spells?" Douxie was confident that he could handle them this time.

Merlin sighed and frowned in slight irritation, but his eyes were almost sparkling with excitement and energy that Douxie didn't often see from him. "If we must." His frown fell away and he gave Douxie a small smile. "Come along. I have a few spells in mind." Merlin put his hands behind his back and made his way back to the workshop. Douxie rubbed his cuff fondly as he followed his Master.

Douxie had always looked forward to learning more about magic, but he hadn't been this excited to learn from Merlin since he had first been taken in. It was thrilling, felt like a brand new beginning, and Douxie was looking forward to seeing where this would lead him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Douxie has his cuff with runes before he meets Merlin, but I would think that kind of control would need some powerful magic infused in the cuff, and it didn't make much sense for Douxie to make it himself. 
> 
> I was also trying to think of why Douxie would rely so much on the cuff/bracer when we don't see any other wizards use that kind of thing. Having it inhibit/help Douxie focus his magic just made the most sense to me.
> 
> Seriously though, why is Douxie (to my knowledge) the only one who uses runes and has a familiar? It's not that unusual for these kinds of things to be used by magic users, but it is in this show. Also, Douxie doesn't really use spoken magic all that often (though I guess that's what the runes are for).


End file.
